Rheumatoid Arthritis

You know what is funny about life? Things get thrown at you at the worst time possible. I got married about 2 years ago. It was the best day of my life. About a year ago, I had the worst inflammation in my hands and feet. I had no idea what had happened. I went to see my primary care physician in a panic. I was in so much pain...that is when my doctor told me to get a whole bunch of blood tests and referred me to a rheumatologist. After endless blood tests and MRIs and Xrays, and more blood tests, I was told I have RA. At that time last year, I was just happy that they knew the problem and we could start treatment. I think I was more in denial than anything. Right away they started me on Plaquenil and Celebrex. My rheumatologist never really explain in detail what this disease was doing to my body. I just assumed it was just arthritis and medicine will make me better and when I wanted to have kids I will have them. I didn't know all the complications that was associated with RA. As the year went by, my husband and I started wanting a family. I finally talked to my rheumatologist at my last appointment (last week). He gave me a whole list of options. My RA is still active. Ideally, he wanted me to wait until my RA goes into remission but he was also concerned about my age too. Not only was RA the problem, I also have PCOS which will require me to go through fertility treatments. Obviously, the choice is up to me and my husband, but I am not sure what I should do. I really want to be a mom and I want to give my husband a child but with my condition, there are so much risk we both have to take...I am so sad...what would you do in my situation...I am sure someone is out there that was in my situation, right?

I am sorry that his hit you so early in your married life. Mine came after delivering my third child. I can not tell you what to do since you will have to follow your heart on this one. I simply wanted to bring a different perspective on your situation. For people considering becoming parents for the first time, there is such a huge focus on pregnancy. It is a unique experience, but it is insignificant compared to raising a child. There are so many children already, or soon to be, in this world that need parents. Does it really matter if you carried the child in your body or not? Dads don't carry their children but they love them anyway. For the stress, complications, and expense of IVF, you could possibly adopt a child for less of all those. And I can tell you that it won't matter to you where that child comes from if you just want to be a parent. Just something to think about. Good luck in your treatment and family planning.