Rheumatoid Arthritis

I was diagnosed with Depression when I was 15 and its been a long struggle, I'm now 28. I was diagnosed with RA August 2006 and I feel like I'm still having a hard time with it. I feel totally alone, like most people with this disease do. I also feel like all I do is complain, but its hard not to when you're in so much pain, you can't do anything but lay in bed. I've been on almost all the meds, arava, prednisone, embrel, methotrexate (pills and injections), and now humira. I asked my rheumy about the new med orencia, and she said she didn't want me on it because they don't know all the sideeffects, and its kind of a last resort. Well I've been on humira for 8 weeks now, and have seen some improvement but not enough in my opinion. I still have horrible pain in the morning, and I'm taking from 4-8 vicodins a day. I'm becomming very, very frustrated, and my depression has become worse with all of this. Sometimes I feel like I just can't be strong anymore. Its so hard, and I'm hoping by finding this outlet, it will make things a bit easier on me. Talking to people with the same experiences will def help. I've also gone into a pain clinic, I felt as if they generalized everyones pain and they concentrated mostly on people with injuries, not autoimmune diseases. The breathing techniques and excercises they showed me do help, but its hard with someone who has depression to stay modivated and positive ALL the time. I have no family near by, and they don't really understand anyway. My husband tries his hardest, but its hard to deal with me at times I know. If anyone has any advice for me, I'd reallly appreciate it. <3

Hi bioburden,

Wow, sounds like you're dealing with a lot. I;ve actually have had arthritis since I was 9 (now 24) and due to my arthritis go in and out of peroids of depression, anxiety and anger. But it def. sounds like you're a really strong person to have dealt with all of that since you were 15 and still be able to be here and share it with us.
I can def. relate to the fact that people dont understand, although I do have a very supportive family, they dont get the emotional toll that this disease has had on my life. I'm schedule for joint replacement surgery soon, and have been struggling myself with that for the past couple of months pain wise, I also started started grad school recently, so the added stress hasnt helped... and my friends really havent been there for me. I dont know if its that they dont know what to do/say or jsut dont get it ... either way it really hurts.

As for advice, I hope this doesnt sound too cliche, but take one moment at a time. Its great to hear that humira is working for you, give it some more time and maybe you'll see more improvements. I think the fact that you've reached out here is also a postive step you've taken. Not sure if I helped, but hope you hang in there ... I get where you're coming from.

Hi bioburden,

YOu words hit me just where I have been. I know I am depressed and have also had issues of depression before I was dxed with RA two years ago. I have spent more time crying then I can count. I was married in Jan of this year, and a few days before the weeding my doc changed my meds due to my liver panel being elevated. My grome was barely able to get my ring on and by the next day I could not get the ring off. We left for our honey moon the end of the week but I was so inflamed that I was in horrible pain for most of the honeymoon. I was fortuneate since I was fairly still functional but due to my desire to be "active" with water sports on my honeymoon, I caused damage to my joints and have increased my daily pain.

I want you to know that you are NOT alone and that I feel that depression and RA probably go hand in hand. We have all lost our ability to do the things we use to before our diagnosis but we are will able to survive. I want to thank you for sharing your story. It has let me know that I am not alone. I wish you happier days and hope that you, if not already, have sought out help for your depression. I know that is where I am headed, to look for resourses that can help shed light on things.