Migraine

So I'm feeling pouty today... I feel the level of "whelm" climbing... thankful it's Friday... nervous at the fact that it's only 11 and my weekend is already so full.

It started last night with a call from my Mom, asking me about my schedule for a birthday dinner for my Grandma. I'm looking right at my computer calender and feeling so confused about what I have going on, what week it is, what things are going on that week... and she identified right away that it was just the Topamax, and said so. This of course bummed me out, because I knew she was right and I felt frustrated to not be able to function--I mean come on, my iCal shades the current day, I have color coded markers for all my appointments.. how could I not know what was going on!! It only got worse as my night went on... I just got more and more confused... had trouble putting my sentences together... I topped off the evening taking my nightime meds, looking down at my drawer of meds (yes, it's a drawer) and suddenly thinking, "Oh, I almost forgot to increase my Topamax! I need to start taking an extra again tonight." So I comment to my husband, "I forgot to up my Topamax, it's Tuesday!" ... of course, he's just tilts his head... stares hard at me and says reeaalll slow, "It's Thursday." I have a momentary freak out and insist that I need to get myself a little weekly pill box PRONTO before I overdose on something.

I just kept telling him over and over again, that THIS is how my Mom is always missing her appts... she's always showing up on the wrong day, the wrong time... it's like I'm cooking popcorn in my brain. To top things off... my big, loving, but VERY dog aggressive german shepherd decided to let himself out of our sliding glass door this morning to visit our neighbors... so I then ran/walk (it's hard to run in slip on shoes...) over there before he started a fight to bring him home... so my brain feels like an inflata-toy that I punched around... I don't have ANY meds at work with me and I decided to pick a fight with said hubby before work since I was in such a crabby mood.

All this and I just wander around, wondering what I'm going to screw up or forget... I keep repeating to myself that I have an appointment tonight... I'm sure I'm going to forget my name any minute.. I keep getting that semi-numb feeling that gets me nervous that something bad might be coming... please migraine, stay away! I thought I had seen the cognitive effects of Topamax... but this is NEW. yuck. ugh. WAH!

Oh Candance, I'm sorry this is happening. It's so hard to deal with the side effects. Sometimes of course they go away, sometimes they don't. Topamax and I were ok together, well sort of, my feet tingled and went numb a great deal of the time, doctor didn't like that, so can't use it for migraine prevention. Zonagran and I did not play well together at all. Very unpleasant to say the least.

I can't remember when you started the Topamax. But has it been long enough some of the side effects should be subsiding (perhaps DH could look this up). You just started your new dosage I think, so give it a few days. Cut yourself some slack. This is hard to do. I carried around alot of notes to myself to remember things. And yes, I have a pill container for morning and night. Couldn't keep things straight or remember what I had taken.

Keep writing, stay calm. We're here.

Cindy

When I was still titrating upwards and onwards on Topamax, I had the same feelings.

Cognative skills were shot, memory - fried. For me, this seemed to stop about a month or so after being on the same dosage.

What dosage are you up to now? I noticed the cognative side effects at about 50mgs. - maybe before, but they became worse at 50 and kept on going.

If they are really that bothersome - like where you should not be left to cook something on your own (don't they tell you not to use the stove after anesthesia because you will forget?? LOL) then I would call the doctor.

Side note: after I had a minor surgery I was told "don't cook by yourself with the oven" I was like whatever, thank god I didn't, I made tea in the microwave and forgot about it for like 5 hours! LOL

Seriously though, if the cognative side effects are really bothersome, please talk to your doctor. There are over 100 migraine preventives so you don't have to suffer with annoying side effects! Let your doctor know and something can be tweaked or maybe you can try something different.

Keep us posted, ok?

I'm at 125mg right now... almost 150mg as of last night.. lol... I don't really feel like it's gotten don't-cook-by-yourself-bad yet... I think it's more emotional troubling than physically limiting. I'll admit that the near med mishap was seriously concerning to me though... luckily I don't take anything that I can actually overdose on... I mean I suppose I *could* take a double dose of Topamax and that could probably screw me up, but it's unlikely since I'm barely manage to take my daily meds anyways, and have it pretty well ingrained in my daily routine. It just felt scary... I have a friend who accidentally overdosed on Xanax, she was fine, but she had a seizure because she had taken too many... she couldn't remember what she had or hadn't taken... it just made me think of her in that moment.

I guess I feel like it behooves me to ride it out to my next appt... since I don't really have a doctor who I can talk to on the phone. I have my really HORRIBLE neuro... and my wonderful PCP, who doesn't take phone calls. I can leave a message with his nurse, but she really leaves a lot to be desired. That, combined with the fact that 1. my head pain is usually a consistent pain level throughout the day... it might be low or high... but it stays about the same unless something bad happens to change it... lately it's been changing more... maybe the Topamax starting to work?? My appt with the new neuro is the 13th... and I actually have an appt with a naturopath/homeopath on Wednesday... I don't know if anyone has any luck with that route.. I grew up on homeopathic cures...

Today I just feel overwhelmed... my head is killing me... nothing truly horrific... like gotta go home type stuff... I was afraid that running after my pup was going to trigger the same thing that my gym visits had... I'm still a little nervous about it. For now it's just whatever it is that I get... the undefined ouchiness, but a much more intense version than what I've been experiencing recently. I feel the urge to stay still and hope that nothing makes it *worse*... especially since I am somehow without any meds. I'm not sure how that happened... Luckily I have my mother in-law as a driver to my appointment tonight as she also has an appointment... so at least I don't have to drive the very curvy road...

I've wondered if maybe any form of adrenaline could make the head pain worse... or if CSF could be a factor if I moving around like that.. ?? All I know is that it seems to have been a very bad idea for me this morning on top of my already off kilter mood/mental state...

Candace, my mig specialist says that any activity can make the migraine worse, especially anything that raises the heart rate.

By the way, I have to take a lot of pills because I have fibromyalgia and irritable bowel syndrome plus migraines. I have a daily pill box that I fill every morning, plus a notepad where I write down the ones I take four times a day. And I STILL occasionally forget or mess up! I also have a computer spreadsheet to keep track of how much I have of each and when it can be refilled and when I need to buy more. My full time job!

Funny story, a couple summers ago we went to visit one of my mom's aunts. She was in her 90's. She proudly showed us the notebook where she wrote down all the pills she took each day...and I'm thinking oh jeez I'm already doing that at my age!!!!!