Migraine

Something occurred to me a few minutes ago. It has made me rethink whether all the time and expense and physical discomfort and problems I'm going through to prevent migraine are worth it in the end. Now I'm second-guessing myself, to the extent I'm capable at just before 5:00AM on Low Saturday.

I've got several other chronic things going on. I'm disabled. Even if I never had another migraine attack again, I'll never feel good. I'm going to say that again. Even if I never had another migraine attack again, I'll never feel good.

I've never felt good. I'll never feel good.

What am working so hard to achieve? What am I making myself so miserable for?

I have no opinion about stroke and cardiovascular events. Nearly every person in my family who has not died from accident has died from stroke so to me, it's inevitable.

Ok, there's my vent. I'm knocking myself out for nothing. Even if I achieve 100% prevention of migraine attack, I won't feel good. I'm not sure I care if I feel worse, honestly.

Pam as my DBF points out to me frequently, the other option isn't good, which is not being here. We will all die of something sometime. But I've read your posting over the last few months. You have family, friends, loved ones who's lives you enrich. So yes, you make a difference and finding a preventative for migraines will make a difference.

I'm not sure what your other disablies are. I don't have other medical problem than migraines (teenages don't count). But I see people every day with severe medical problem out and about living their lives making a difference. Our society and technology have allowed us all sorts of ways for people to make a difference, you can too.

My mother died at 58 of lung cancer. By continuing to smoke long after she knew the dangers she made a choice. She did not see my children, she did not see her other grandchildren grow up. There are now 3 beautiful, engaging great grandchildren she would have adored. She made a choice. Her choice hurts me every single day.

Pam, you work hard at making it work. Don't give up, please. Menopause will pass and it will help you migraines. You still have so muchh to give and to live for. Don't ever forget that.

Take care and know that we are all here to always help and support you,

Cindy

MW I hear you! But Cindy has it right- it does make a difference! YOU make a difference. Even if you don't feel great, you can feel better. It is worse having multiple conditions than having one. I once got really mad in a personal growth course when the instructor said "if you have a headache and I break your arm, you'll forget the headache pretty quick." WRONG! His point was a question of context - that smaller problems fade in the face of larger ones, but I really disagree. It is worse to have a headache and a broken arm - then they both hurt. The more things piled on us, the harder it is for us to move forward, find joy. If you can take care of part of the pile - do it, it brings you that much closer to the joy in life.

And don't forget that we love you!

Megs

In addition, medical science doesn't stand still. We all know how far migraine research has come. It's sometimes easy to forget that triptans only came into existence about 15 years ago. I'm sure there's been progress on your other chronic conditions as well. So you really can't say with certainty that you will never feel good. Even if you don't ever feel as good as other people without your conditions, you can feel better. You can make enough progress to be in control of your own life again. I think that's worth it.

You're working so hard on migraine prevention because giving up on it means you're letting the beast win. And continuing to fight and look for better treatment feels better than just sitting still and not doing anything. At least that's why I do it.

It's hard, it really is, especially when you've got multiple chronic ick. But sometimes winning those small battles, those really teeny tiny battles is the best we can do - even if it's "I haven't had a migraine for the past 5 minutes".

Keep fighting, MW - it will be worth it, one day. I wish I could tell you when.

You keep working hard at things because the payoff is worth it, and the reward when it does come is a whole lot sweeter when you know you helped it along.

Despite multiple chronic ick, I do pretty darn spiffily, overall. Most people wouldn't even know I had one ick, much less an ongoing battle of several. The only reason it's not apparent is that I work hard to make it so, and keep it so. I may not be able to "cure" it, but I've got gumption, and I can certainly out-stubborn it just about any day of the week.

MW,



Without your cogent posts over the months, I'd be worse off with my migraines. So, I feel, would several others in our group.

It's OK to feel low. The harness chafes from time to time. Your load is heavy. You see others who seem to have no loads, and that just doesn't seem right. I know I want to kick over my traces on a regular basis.

I'm hoping tomorrow's sunrise brings new strength and hope to you. You are a blessing in my life. I'm picturing you strong and healthy, and free from fear.

With much love,
Rebecca

You fight because you are a strong woman.

You fight because you know it's the thing to do, to better yourself, and because I know you work on advocacy for others, it wouldn't be right for you to fight for others and not for yourself.

Because the day the cure comes, you want to say you had a part in it. You were part of that fight.

Thank you everybody.

You know, each of you have given me something different to think about that had never crossed my mind. I know life isn't fair, and I know that what I am dealt is what I play. You've each given me some more darts for my Nerf gun though. Each of you have given me things I can use to shoot down this melancholy the next time this blue mood creeps up on me--and it will creep up on me again. I'm going to get out this thread and read it because I'm printing this for future reference when I'm feeling down again.

I do feel better right this minute. I've spent the day in bed, again. Missed a day of my life, again. Had to take a butt-load of meds just to be able to get up and eat something, again. But your messages have lifted me and for that, I am grateful.

Tomorrow we're going to have--roast duck. Tomorrow we're going to sit with my bedridden father for a few minutes until he either slips off into unconsciousness or tires. Tomorrow will be better than today because I'll do some things to make it better.

And I appreciate all you more than I can say.

MW,

First I wish to say that I'm glad you are feeling better (at least emotionally) today and that Sol and I hope that continues.

I am going to share something with you, well everyone I suppose but for now in this moment in time it is ment for you in hopes that when you are feeling down, well every part of your mind, body and soul aches ...you find hope in my words.

Not even a year ago now I was with my wife at her bedside during one of her hospital stays when one of her Docs came in and told us that chances were not in our favor that Sol would live to see our young twin boys graduate highschool.

Sol just looked at the Doc with a blank stare but I was giving him what Sol calls my "glare of death".

My face was red, my pulse had to be at least 200, and my mind was racing. How dare he. This was Sol he was talking about. No, this was my BELOVED wife he was talking about. The mother of my children, my heart, my life and quite literally the SOUL of our family.

When the doc left the room I followed Him and spoke quite heatedly with the guy in the hall. Lectured him about how DARE he tell my wife that she won't live to see our boys graduate. It is one thing to tell us she only has few days or weeks or even month or two to live but our boys had yet to enter KIDNERGARTEN. Why tell her she will die in the next 10-12 years? Didn't he know how hard she fights day in and day out? Didn't he know the kind of effrot it took and the COURAGE it took to keep fighting even though she will most likely not ever truly recover from her multiple health issues? If her family and MEDICAL team didn't believe she could win the fight then what motivation would she have to continue to do so?

Anyways, I returned to my wife's side and she took my hand squeezing it. I had not known that she had heard every word. (I guess my voice was louder than usual due to me being upset and such...)

She looked at me and said..

"I fight because I have too. Everyone dies and if my time comes early then my legacy will be that I never gave up. That I continued fighting for myself, my loved ones and most importantly for you and our sons."

I looked at her stunned. My love for her grew leaps and bounds in that moment and I was speechless.

"Besides what that doc doesn't know is he's got one stubborn gal on his hands. I AM afterall Norwegian and Italian and what combo is fiestier than that?"

I burried my head into side as she ran her hand through my hair to comfort me and I began laughing.

Yeah. She is my fiesty feisty girl alright.

Wishing you the very best and keeping you in our prayers,

Dave

Germans. We can definitely compete.

quote:

Originally posted by Dave4Sol:
"Besides what that doc doesn't know is he's got one stubborn gal on his hands. I AM afterall Norwegian and Italian and what combo is fiestier than that?"

Droolie you made us crack up!!!

I am part German so you can imagine how stubborn our twin sons are!!

Peace,

Dave and Sol

I'm laughing and crying at the same time.

This, this is what support is. May God grant that if I can't repay you in this life that He grant me grace to do so in the next life twofold.

Dave, Sol the Prizefighter is one lucky girl to have you in her corner.

Droolie the German Dragon! XD

Good. I like it when Sol gets a good chuckle!

I'm all German, so you can imagine how stubborn my twin sibling and I are. When we band together, that's that.

quote:

Originally posted by Dave4Sol:
Droolie you made us crack up!!!

I am part German so you can imagine how stubborn our twin sons are!!

Peace,

Dave and Sol

Now, the thing is, there isn't ever any need to repay us. We look out for each other, plain and simple. You do the same for us all the time. We stick together. It's what we do.

quote:

Originally posted by MedievalWriter:
I'm laughing and crying at the same time.

This, this is what support is. May God grant that if I can't repay you in this life that He grant me grace to do so in the next life twofold.

Dave, Sol the Prizefighter is one lucky girl to have you in her corner.

Droolie the German Dragon! XD