Migraine

I kind of feel like a big baby for complaining about this - but I've been fighting a few big attacks since Friday. I've basically not been out of bed for more than an hour or two in the past five days. I broke the headache twice (once yesterday), and I'm worried that it's just going to pop back again.

I woke up this morning feeling much less migrainous, which is a very good thing. However, I am completely exhausted and totally apathetic. I can barely get myself to do anything - I just don't care. I tried some of my usual distractors and they just feel useless and irrelevant. In fact, I just realized that I forgot to eat lunch.

I'm sure this is probably my body just trying to recover from all the medications and the attacks, etc., but I hate this. I usually have some enthusiasm for my life, and right now I'm just dreading having my kids come home from school, because I really don't want to talk to or see anyone.

I guess this last 2 1/2 months have been such an ordeal that it's not completely unexpected to hit the wall. Between the horrifying level of symptoms I had when I went into the hospital in April, the two weeks of hospital treatment, and then trying to function at home with an entirely new med regimen, it's probably reasonable to have a discouraged day or two. I just can't believe that I can't summon energy for anything. Ugh. These are the days when I reflect that my life has been illness, illness, illness for nine years now with no breaks, and frankly, it's not a good idea for me to think in that direction!!!

Just griping. I'm sure I'll make it through, even though I'll probably have to tell my kids that they're on their own for entertainment after school because I'm just out of commission. The parental guilt - tired of that too. I miss my old self.

Lynne

I know you miss your old self. I've been there. I don't have any great suggestions, except to take care of yourself. You'll get through this.

You've just fought a very long fight. It's understandable that your body is exhausted, and so is your mind. Hurting is HARD work!

Can you have takeout tonight? My DH brought home supper last night because I was having the crummiest day I've had in months. It was wonderful. And no dishes to do!

Your kids will survive for an afternoon. They'll find plenty to do without you.

A hot shower? A long soak? A cup of fancy tea? Bonbons? Can you get one of your kids to rub your feet? My mom was always asking for us to do that.

Tomorrow will be a better day. Hang in there!

Gretchen in Mississippi

Lynne,


Hang in there. You said that you are adjusting to a new medication routine. Could that be some of the cause? Occasionally I've had to give new medications time to get past some of the initial side-effects.

Keep us updated on how you are feeling. I hope tomorrow brings some relief.

Liz

Well, I just took one step - defrosted some chicken I'd grilled a few days ago and dumped it on some pasta and actually ate lunch. My previous plan was just to eat microwave popcorn, but I'm now feeling like I did something for myself, at least

I'm trying to summon up some interest in the baby blanket I've been knitting.

Now that I think more about it, I remember how exhausted and weak I used to be when my hemiplegic attacks were stronger (like they've been recently). I think some of this is just neurological, and some of it is the shock of having all those rescue meds flushing out of my body. Plus the emotional exhaustion of juggling being sick with trying to make sure the kids got rides, etc.

Tonight is sort of a busy night for our family - kids have swim practice, husband has swim club board meeting, and normally I'd swim during that time myself but I just don't think I'm going to be able to make myself do it. I did remember, though, that I'd frozen a bunch of small lasagna servings awhile ago, so maybe I can just stick those in the oven and make dinner a little easier tonight.

I guess I need to accept that today is going to be hard, and just hope that tomorrow I wake up with some more energy. Most days I am sure I can make it through the day. Today my faith in myself is shaky - I'm not really used to that.

Thanks for your kindnesses. I'll check back.

Lynne

Oh Lynne!!

Remember: That nasty little migraine monster eats up all our seritonin, that's why we sometimes have depression as a postdome symptom. It stinks!!!!!

Being in pain all the time is horrific. Not feeling like doing anything, talking to anyone, or dealing with anything stinks too.

I don't know if this is a symptom that comes and goes for you - but it does sound like depression - and understandibly so!

When was your meds changed? Maybe giving a call to the good 'ol doc and just giving him a heads up with a "hey, I fill like yuck" would be a good idea, just to notify him/her.

I always say better to be overly on top of things, then let things go and have a bigger problem.

I hope you are feeling better now that you've gotten some chicken and pasta in your belly!

We are here for you, so gripe away! We know what this feels like. We've all been there at one point or another.

Lynne,



Please try to go easy on yourself...You've been sick for quite a while! It'll probably take a little while to pull yourself back up and start feeling better emotionally.

You'll make it through this! (We're here to make sure you do! )

In the meantime, do all you can to make life a little easier. If that means taking a bath, eating leftovers, going to bed a little early, or even eating some microwave popcorn, go ahead and do it!

Eileen is right, though...If you have given yourself time and you're STILL feeling so down, a call to your doc may be a good idea!

Sending you more and ...
jenny

Thanks again - I feel like I can maybe slog through this with support ...

I actually haven't felt depressed more than a day or two since I got home from the hospital, which is partly why I'm a little freaked out. I have actually been more cheerful since I got discharged, thanks to less sedating medication and Nardil! (which is really an antidepressant). I think you're right - this is that serotonin fooling around with my brain. If my mood doesn't lift by tomorrow, I'm going to call my doc's P.A. and just report in. Or, if I have another attack tomorrow, which I think is the fear in the back of my mind.

I do feel better now that I've eaten. I'm pushing fluids like crazy, and I am treating myself to a cup of decaf coffee - I don't really like decaf but it is a vehicle for cream and sugar!

These are the days when I feel like someone has put me on a roller coaster that never stops at the station. I can yell as loud as I want, but everyone's out for lunch!

Lynne

Just wanted to let you know Lynne that I feel your pain and depression. I know the parent guilt. I know the feeling of tired, weak and thinking that your not sure you can go on.

remember that none of us is alone, because we have the forum. Tomorrow is another day, and it is a day of hope not despair--Maybe tommorrow is the start of a streak of migraine free days.

Don't give up.

Mary in NM

I hope you are feeling better today, Lynne

I get really depressed as an after effect sometimes. Also, being in virtually non stop pain for days on end is really depressing.

Try to not have too much parental guilt. You won't be any good for your kids if you don't take care of yourself too. Running yourself into the ground doesn't do anyone any good.

Good morning Lynne

I hope this morning is looking and feeling better for you.

You did great by making sure dinner was taken care of-dinner's a lot to do when you're trying to recover from a migraine.

I know it's hard for me to recover from a migraine and sometimes the day after I'm so exhausted I don't want to do anything. My family knows Stouffers frozen meals, pizza and take out foods very well LOL.

Here's another for you! Take care.

To all -

Still some pain this morning, but much better mood. Thank you all for being there. I tried moving around later in the evening to see if it would help clear my head, and I started to perk up. The universe no longer seems dark and horrible.

In fact, when I got up I started to knit right away, and then thought, "Omigosh, I'm knitting - not just sitting here staring at a wall!"

Thanks, thanks, thanks. I was just flummoxed and discombobulated yesterday.

Must make a lunch for a teenager!

Lynne

Lynne,
I'm glad you are starting to bounce back. I've been going back over postings I have missed. Don't overdue right away. Give yourself time. Everything doesn't have to be done at once!!

Cindy

SO sorry for you! Just so you know, you made ME feel better...I have only felt that bad for two years, so I suppose just knowing that made me feel just a little more thankful myself.....DID that just sound absolutely horrible? WHAT I REALLY meant to say was.....I should probably go back and delete all of that, but now that I think about it, everyone will probably just get a great big kick out of it, so I guess I'll just leave it. ANYWAY...There HAS to be better days ahead !!!! That dang hospital can just STAY AWAY and so can the PAIN and so can all of those feelings of guilt that you aren't doing enough for your family, because girl, we ALL have that and it #####, but what the heck, there is NOTHING we can do about it, so just relax and make the best of the time you have that you feel decent :-) Ok, was that even helpful??? If anything, it was probably just comical!>!>!>!>!> And made not much sense because I am just getting off of days of headaches and meds myself, but on my way to hopefully feeling better, too! Have a sunshiny day

OOPS! Please remember to use family friendly language.

Hey Lynne dear - sorry I missed this yesterday. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. It sure sounded to me like when all my seratonin has been slurped up by the thirsty migraine beast.

Maybe while you're feeling better you can work on a list to have handy of what will perk you up - be it foods, baths, favorite movies, a walk, a chat, a foot massage, etc. Somewhere you can whip it out and use it when your brain is on low function. Also food in the freezer, etc to be prepared for not feeling up to cooking.

Give yourself lots of love and lots of credit for hanging in through all you've been through lately!

Megs

Lynne!!!

Glad to hear you are feeling a little bit more like yourself!! That's wonderful!

Laura brought up a great point - Stouffers baby!!! Yeah, they make some mean Lasagna when you don't want to deal....Never hurts to have some of that type of stuff on hand for when you don't feel like cooking.

DH and I are on a frozen pizza kick. Have not felt like cooking, so we get frozen pizza's. It's getting ridiculous now. I'm sick of pizza but yet I don't have the energy to cook. You can get 3 pizza's at BJ's wholesale for like $10 and one feeds two of us so rock on!

I have to start cooking again though - the pizza thing is killing me!!! LOL I sould get some stouffers, at least it will give me variety!! LOL

And kudo's for knitting!!! Whacha makin?? I crochet myeself, but I only know like double crochet and a simple granny square....I should learn more. I can pick that up faster then I can learn guitar (which is taking me FOREVER since I've been having head pain).

Knitting can be done when migraining because it's quiet. Guitar, not so much!