Migraine

Well, my husband took off this week to hang out with me...my med changes have been less than pleasant or even smooth. I cry at the drop of a hat right now. Got some therapist recs though, will do that on Monday.

I am also returning to my home store as an employee. I frankly, cannot concentrate on work as a manager right now and I am too sick.

Plus, I am calling in too much. 5 days in the past three weeks? Yup.

Well, this morning I called in again. I got up early with a migraine and took my Axert for it, and went back to bed. When I got up the Axert hadn't worked well, so after my shower I was very aware that I would not make it in, and even if I did, I would have been very confused...AKA, useless.

I called my sup and he chewed me out. He threatened to fire me, and to keep me from returning to my old position. Like I needed that on top of everything else! He wasn't nice about it, either. My sister said he'd had a bad day; whatever, he was still unprofessional. Did I ever wail after that; sniffling as my husband shot me in the backside with some toradol! (it hurt less than the chewing out, I assure you).

When I talked to my sup last week I let him know I was looking into disability, at least for part of the time. I let him know I felt badly as unreliable as I was, so it's not like we never talked it over. I would have thought he would be relieved that I took actions to guard against any more inconveniences for the company, but I guess not. Does he think that I am not stressed out and frustrated too? Does he have any idea what this is doing to me emotionally, mentally? I don't care if he doesn't understand. He does not have to move mountains for me or go any further than he needs to, legally, as a supervisor (I even asked if he wanted me to apply for FMLA, but he said NO...This was weeks ago, before I demoted myself, mind you) But he needs to realize that I have no control, and if I did, things would be the better for it, and I'd not miss work. Isn't there a correlation there? I'm losing money by taking unpaid sick days. Who does that if they aren't desperate for relief?

He did call later and apologize. To me, it excuses nothing, however. I will be looking into disability more urgently now because I know I'm going to miss more...Especially if they decide they can fix my heart. I'd be good as unemployed at that point.

Will this ever end?

that ##### that your supe isn't very compassionate towards your situation. and i totally know what you mean when you talk about feeling bad for not being reliable. i go through that a lot.

it's really unfortunate that he doesn't understand what you're going through yet. maybe he will find it in himself to google migraines. i'm sure he'd finally ease up off you. at least he tried to apologize rather than leave harsh words where he left them.

i sure hope your med change levels out. take care of yourself.

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Leeloo,


I'm so sorry about what you're going through. As if med changes weren't enough, having to worry about work adds a whole additional level of supreme yuckiness to the situation.

I can't remember if you've given him a copy of Teri's letter to those who don't get Migraine disease. If not, perhaps it's time for him to see the facts about what it is that you're dealing with, medically?


Anyhow, one more hug :grouphug: for the road.

Best,

What is it with these supervisors sometimes??? I only had to deliver a trash can full of vomit to convince mine to lay off the sarcasm and condesension at one point. I never did any more favors for him again either after that, as in going in to start work at 6 a.m., with the idea being that he would find me relief at 8-9 when more people were available to pull from. Instead I started calling in sick at 4:30 in the a.m. when guess who would have to show up to take my shift.

Too bad you can't do that to your ever-so-considerate boss.

Tracie

Leeloo,

I am so sorry that your supervisor is a being real hard on you. I would file for FLMA it's your legal right to have it. It is for your protection in exactly these situation.

I hope that this next week will be a better week for you.

Mary in NM

Leelo,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know that was hard to demote yourself but hopefully that will make your job a bit easier. You deserve a break. I hope today is a better day!!

Oh Leeloo--you've been through so much!

I'm sorry your boss was such a jerk. Some people just haven't learned to handle tough situations like grownups...

I think it'd be wise for you to explore all of your options so you're aware of everything you can do in your current situation. It'd be good to know all of the ins and outs of disability, FMLA, who to talk to when, and what all of your legal rights are. (DH may be better able to ask the questions if you're really feeling rotten.)

I'm so sorry you had to demote yourself! It sure doesn't seem fair...

Sending you lots of hugs and smooshes:



jenny

Leeloo

Bosses can be so ugly sometimes. My one "immediate boss", one of the teachers I work with, is not onle a real bear towards me, but she's also a real bear towards some of our students. I even have nightmares about the woman!

We started back in the rains from Hurricane Fay. My schedule has undergone a major change. Instead of being truly "Self Contained", where our students come to us for one or more classes each day, we are now teaching "Inclusion", where we go with them to 2 classes each day.

Actually, I end up going with at least 1 kid to and from another building several times each day as he or she walks off his or her frustrations with a situation.

We have one little charmer who brought a set of brass knuckles to school Thurs. (Oh, did I mention we are now teaching all 6th graders?) With him, we have to decide in a split second if it's his disability talking or his spoiled-brattiness talking

And, we have one little girl who reminds me of a little old woman. When she doesn't get her way, she mutters. And by mutters, I mean she mutters constantly. I get a real kick out of her.

In the 9 days since the students started back, I've had 1 migraine that lasted about 60 hrs., 1 that lasted about 35 hours, and today's migraine.

Leeloo, you're going through much worse. I can get around this 1 teacher if I need to. Your supervisor should go fall headfirst into a patch of cactus! (Oh, that was bad of me.)

I'll keep on praying for you.

Rebecca, The Island Mama

Man - I'm so sorry about your boss.

First of all, if YOU need to take FMLA for yourself, YOU take it!!! I understand him not wanting you to, but it's really not up to him, it's up to you and your doctor.

You need to do what you need to do to get yourself through.

I'm sorry the new meds have you a little off. I can relate!!!

I wish we would just win the lottery, then we could just do whatever we wanted as a profession because we wouldn't need the money.

Don't worry - If I ever play it and win, I'm splitting with all my peeps!

Hang in there! We are here for you, as you know. I'm glad DH took some time off to spend with you. I'm sure that helps a bit.

Big hugs!

Hello everyone, and thank you.

I have sent my sups letters about my condition. 3 of them received a nicely worded letter about my state of affairs and my apologies that things weren't yet under control to anyone's satisfaction and that my doctors and I were working on that part.

I also defined migraine for them. My immediate sup knows that I am fighting depression too. He's got his own chronic problems, insomnia among them. I don't expect him to cater to my every need. I do expect respect, however, as nothing I have done makes any of this a surprise. I prewarn for every appointment I've had to make, sometimes months in advance.

Last year, when I was working to get into the study, and making plans for the procedure, I constantly kept my sup in the loop. I was always updating, months in advance. The moment I had the OK for the procedure I made sure when I could take off. When I came back from the procedure after 4 weeks, it was pretty obvious that no one was prepared. There was a lot of scrambling to make sure there were extra, reliable people. Unfortunately, it sometimes does not matter how great your employees are, there are specific roles the management fills and when you can only stand on the floor and supervise - literally, watch everyone work without lifting a finger yourself - well, trust me when I say it just does not work. There should have been another manager available to help me, not employees...But, while I was struggling to keep my arms down and not to lift things, another manager was granted permission for vacation, so that's where the extra manager went. I was so frustrated. I rode it out for 2 weeks in the slower store I am in now, til my sister couldn't handle MY store and made our sup put her back. This popped me back over to the busier store, mind you, and still no one that could keep everything together. I had ONE employee who not only had to clean the back of the store, but I had to lean on him for assistance CONSTANTLY until I became fed up, told my sup to forget it, that I was taking the last 2 weeks off for my own sanity, until I was cleared to lift things and raise my arms again. That employee got thanks only from me, in a $100 gift card, and no one else ever said thank you to him for covering my backside when I needed help the most.

So, I have a bit of leftover frustrations from that time period. it doesn't seem to matter what I do, when I do it, or how I phrase it. Something always slips through and it comes back around to being my fault. Oh yeah, the fiascos from my procedure absences and return? Apparently all my fault even though my sup was kept up to snuff over a period of a year. So I am not sure where or why it was my fault no one could get their stuff together to make it easier on everyone. Instead of having time to recover, I had to watch helplessly as my store fell apart and my employee had to pick up the slack that my sup should have been prepared for. And he has the audacity to threaten my job!

I hate to hold grudges, I'm afraid it's one thing I do well. At least I do not have to worry about running shifts anymore or who is going to cover me if I get sick. I am so relieved.

What confuses me though, is, do you have to quit working before you can apply for disability? I am not so clear on that, but it's the feeling I have been getting from doing some reading, though I have not seen anything that straight up says that. I'm not sure if I can do that...quit, I mean. It would ruin us financially. I feel so stuck.

Leeloo - Teri recently did an article on the Federal Social Security disability programs, which sets out the requirements very clearly. You can read that HERE. For these programs, you do have to show that you didn't work for some period of time. As I understand FMLA, though, you don't have to be out of work for that - you can use it on and off as needed.

Anyway, I really feel for you! Sometimes we just can't change people, and though it doesn't feel great to hold a grudge, it's important to remember how things went so you don't have unrealistic expectations. I sure wouldn't hesitate to give it right back to him - "You know I have a real medical condition that makes me miss work, you know I've bent over backwards to give you all the notice and consideration I can, you have not business treating me like you did!"

to you. I hope things look up soon!
- megs

Leeloo,

FLMA is how my brother and his wife who both have chronic illnesses are able to keep their jobs. I always wondered how my brother was able to work full time and had kept his job for the last seven or eight years even though he has almost as many health issues as me.

Mary in NM

Definitely look into FMLA. It's the only reason I'm still employed. It doesn't matter if he wants you to do it or not. My supervisor didn't really want me to get FMLA. But it provides some protection for your job. I'm sorry you're going through this. I think many of us have. I've even been accused by coworkers of faking, only calling in when I'm not the charge nurse, only calling in when I'm on call, etc.

quote:

Originally posted by Leeloo:
Well, my husband took off this week to hang out with me...my med changes have been less than pleasant or even smooth. I cry at the drop of a hat right now. Got some therapist recs though, will do that on Monday.

I am also returning to my home store as an employee. I frankly, cannot concentrate on work as a manager right now and I am too sick.

Plus, I am calling in too much. 5 days in the past three weeks? Yup.

Well, this morning I called in again. I got up early with a migraine and took my Axert for it, and went back to bed. When I got up the Axert hadn't worked well, so after my shower I was very aware that I would not make it in, and even if I did, I would have been very confused...AKA, useless.

I called my sup and he chewed me out. He threatened to fire me, and to keep me from returning to my old position. Like I needed that on top of everything else! He wasn't nice about it, either. My sister said he'd had a bad day; whatever, he was still unprofessional. Did I ever wail after that; sniffling as my husband shot me in the backside with some toradol! (it hurt less than the chewing out, I assure you).

When I talked to my sup last week I let him know I was looking into disability, at least for part of the time. I let him know I felt badly as unreliable as I was, so it's not like we never talked it over. I would have thought he would be relieved that I took actions to guard against any more inconveniences for the company, but I guess not. Does he think that I am not stressed out and frustrated too? Does he have any idea what this is doing to me emotionally, mentally? I don't care if he doesn't understand. He does not have to move mountains for me or go any further than he needs to, legally, as a supervisor (I even asked if he wanted me to apply for FMLA, but he said NO...This was weeks ago, before I demoted myself, mind you) But he needs to realize that I have no control, and if I did, things would be the better for it, and I'd not miss work. Isn't there a correlation there? I'm losing money by taking unpaid sick days. Who does that if they aren't desperate for relief?

He did call later and apologize. To me, it excuses nothing, however. I will be looking into disability more urgently now because I know I'm going to miss more...Especially if they decide they can fix my heart. I'd be good as unemployed at that point.

Will this ever end?

I'm so sorry to hear you have all of this on top of everything else!!


I have Intermittant FMLA. Any abscences, planned or unplanned, related to migraine are covered under my FMLA time. It comes out of my paid time off, but it also keeps my job secure.

It is also a nice thing to rub into my boss's nose. She used to be a real pain about me taking time off. But two things helped. First, I educated her more about migraine and what I'm going through. Second, and this was Nutmegan's idea, now when I take days off I say "I need to use some of my FMLA time." Just to remind her according to federal law I have a legitmate disease that keeps me from being able to function.

I hope you feel better and that the letters worked.
Kel

Sorry things have been so difficult at work. You don't need that on top of the migraines and other health issues.

Here's a link to some info about FMLA from the Dept. of Labor web site:

Family and Medical Leave Act

Take care.