Migraine

Well its been a while since I have posted in here. That is good news i guess. But I am hurting, frustrated, and a little depressed tonight.

You know that I have really been struggling with my migraines, been hospitalized 3 times, and just don't seem to find any answers. On the plus side, I feel like I had been managing better and trying my best to live my life despite all this pain. Maybe this frustration is because I have been trying so hard?

I have really been working to keep this disease from stealing my life, since I have felt as though my life was being ripped from under my feet. I push so hard to go to work. I had commited to not allowing this to interfere and I try so hard to live my life. I was able to have a few good days a little while back and that gave me some much needed hope. I was able to have a glimpse of my life and all that i had been missing. I told myself that if I had this glimpse, it would come again. And i just push on.

But like I said, it almost seems as though I am trying too hard. I am so miserable all the time, my pain is just so high and it doesn't stop. I can push myself, and I do, but its almost like I have to pay for that in the end. I am losing that endurance that I had found. I have to work so hard just to get out of bed and then I continue to be miserable. I have so much that I have to do that I am terrified that I just won't be able to keep up like I do. I just don't know where that strength will come from. One body can only bare so much pain before it reaches that breaking point. I just don't know what to do with my self and it scares me because it just won't stop.

I have these migraines daily and often go into status. I can get them to break somtimes just for another one to trigger shortly after. I just had a migraine for 5 days, finally got it to break, and another one triggered that day. I then had a migraine, with a few breaks for days in a row. This is day 3 for the one I am now in, without breaks. I finally noticed it starting to break this afternoon. But had a really bad prodrome no sooner than it stopped. I am now having another migraine and this one is nasty. I have to be up early and I just don't know how I will do it, but now I am off to curl back up in bed and pray for sleep.

(yes i know we are supposed to call our docs or go to the ER with status. I am in status so much that I just can't keep up with doing that. I never get relief anyway, so i am between a rock and a hard place.)

Alaura-
I know exactly what it feels like to be in status so often. (Or maybe my migraine that I have is from my psuedotumor....do those go into status also? Just wondering)
I am on week 3- I think its 3. (After awhile it all blends together and one day is like the next.) And how you can just feel after a while that those trips to the ER or hospital don't pay off.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could take away your pain. I wish I could do something to help other than to sit here and tell you I understand and since I am still here I guess we do just keep on trucking.

Although I understand I also urge you to try to see a medical professional and see if there is any relief they can offer- and heck even if it is short term is better than not at all right? Although it would seem I am not one to talk I plan to go Sunday after work if this isn't better.

Do you see a therapist? Sometimes it can help.

I pray you get some real relief soon!

You are in my thoughts!

be blessed!
Dawn

Alaura,

Do you keep a migraine diary? I keep one for my ESCAPE trial but I am getting ready to bow out of it in preparation for a second PFO closure, so I am going to begin taking copious notes on my own. Like you, I have chronic migraines and am often in Status.

My migraines went nuts in 2006 and haven't stopped since. In fact, they have gotten worse. I went from working 43 hours a week to 25, and took an $18,000 pay cut because of it. It takes the most of what I have the days I work to make it through.

I am aware of some of my triggers, but sometimes my migraines seem to come on for "no reason" at all - for no trigger that I am able to identify right now. I sleep a lot but I sleep poorly the majority of the time, or I go through nights of insomnia. I am sure it contributes, but I am going to start a diary and see what I can see.

Sometimes long-term steroid therapy is necessary for chronic migraines. I know no one likes that and most good doctors are going to seriously think about it before they start you on something like that. But I would consider it if I were you.

I agree with Dawn. You should perhaps try to see a counselor if you can. I am taking Zoloft as well to help with my depression...You might want to ask your doc about an anti-depressant because some can help with managing migraines. I have found a terrific boost from the Zoloft, though some days I am still miserable. Unfortunately it does nothing for my migraines but I've just added Abilify so we'll see.

The key to being less miserable with migraine is to approach it with guns locked and loaded...You may still have them everyday but you can add to your arsenal and feel proactive.

Thank you ladies. I know that everyone here understands how hard this is, but sometime it still feels so lonely to deal with all of this, like i can be so different from everyone else or there is somethin wrong with me. It breaks my heart to hear that you both struggle with so much pain too. This is hard hard stuff to deal with! I also wish I could take all of your pain away, as I know how hard this is. But it is a relief just to know that you understand.

Yes I do see a therapist. I have had such bad luck with them in the past, that its nice to think I have finally found a good one. She seems understanding and although we just started, I am hopeful that it may help in time.

I have tried treating the depression, but ironically the meds just makes it worse. I really feel like the depression is because of the chronic pain. sometimes its ok, others it isn't. My doc did just put me on an MAOI as a preventative and I can't mix anti depressants with this. In fact he tried, and I had terrible reactions and landed in the ER.

I am just so frustrated and hurting so bad right now. Last night I hit one of the worst prodromes I have ever experienced and I think that may be were this depression came from. I was miserable, yet highstrung and anxious. It was strange. But then I was hit with one of the worst migraines I have had in a long time. I just spent nearly 20 hours unable to get out of bed.I am usually able to push through a lot of the pain, and keep going even if it is really slow or a struggle. Came down just to try and eat and will soon be headed back. Worse yet, I have no abortives that I can take now. So I am just so frustrated. Not seeing an end is so discouraging.

But I have no choice but to keep pushing on. I will get out of this state once again, I have before. I do hvae to remember that I have made it this long. As much as I can't see it, I do have the strength to keep going. I just have to find it.......

Alaura - I'm sending you hugs

Yes, dearie, you can push too hard, and it will make you pay. You've got to find a balance when it comes to limits, and respect them. Continuing to overdo is just going to get you into that once step forward, two steps back problem. It's inviting it. It just adds to the strain.

Yeah, it seems lonely, but you aren't alone, and there are plenty of us that aren't much different from you. Even if we aren't currently experiencing as much as you are going through right now, most of us have been there at some point, and we can relate. A lot of that "alone" feeling is the pain talking.

The others are right. Perhaps it's time to be asking about a steroid pack to help break the cycle. I'm not going to lecture you on status, because I know you know the drill. I know it seems pointless to go seek help for it, because you're stuck in yet another long cycle, but it is worth it to do what you can. You've got us to lean on, too.

Thanks so much guys! I can't reply very well right now, cuz I am in a very hard spot right now. At this point I wish I could hit the ER, but I can't. Just don't have a way to make it happen but I am so miserable. This is day 5 with this migraine, granted I have had longer. I am just growing very very thin, since these have been a nearly daily thing for weeks and weeks. I get a few breaks form the migraine, with high level headpain sticking around. But its very few of those breaks. I have hardly left my bed all weekend, and I don't do that often. Usually I stay somewhat functional. This is just so hard right now plus I ahve to be up bright and early for work and I just don't feel i can. Although, I don't have one sick day left to take, so it looks like I don't hve a choice. Sorry for the depressive writing today, I am just miserable right now. I guess I just need time....

Alaura,

How many anti-depressants have you tried? Give the MAOI a fair chance and then see what your options are. Don't rule out anti-depressants if the MAOI doesn't work, since different antis work on different receptors. I'm starting Abilify tomorrow after having a terrible time with Pristiq; hopefully it will help my migraines too. It took a few months for Zoloft to start working initially, and then I went up a dose when it seemed to stop working on me. Again, it took a few months but I am much, much better now than I was, in terms of depression and anxiety. During those months when I was waiting for the higher dose to get going, I had some very desperate weeks compounded by family problems.

I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. You sound so much like me and what things have been like for me that I just feel particularly drawn to responding to you.

I seriously think you should get a steroid pack if possible. 5 days of constant pain IS going to wear you thin. I'd be amazed if it didn't. Sometimes I cry quietly in the back of my store when I feel the pressure is too much. Sometimes I feel like the world is asking way too much of me right now. In my opinion a kenalog shot provides almost instant relief, and its effect is supposed to last a couple of months. Unfortunately like all steroids you cannot get it constantly. I maybe get two a year, if even that.

I think you need to rest as much as you can. Can you stand scents during your migraines? If so, sometimes I find lighting a candle with favorite scent and laying in bed and getting my thoughts into far-off places helps take me away for a little while. I also employ some heating pads. I just was Rx'd muscle relaxers and they definitely ease my stress in a major way.

It's so hard not to feel anxious or down when you're going through this. I wish I had some great words of comfort but don't give up.

Will you get repercussions at work for taking a day off that isn't sick or vacation related? Do you have personal days? Is your manager willing to work with you in regards to your illness? Not special treatment or anything like that, but are there accommodations you might be able to ask for at work such as a cool, dark room to lay down in if you are feeling badly, so you can give your meds a chance to work?

Please try to relax and I hope that you wake up tomorrow refreshed and as free from pain as possible.

Alaura

Reading your posts have made me all teary. I understand so well how much you are suffering right now. I wish there was a solution for all of us. I've had a really miserable couple of months where my head hasn't been less than a 5. My neck pain on top of it makes every movement I make hurt. I push and push myself hoping that I'll make it through the day. I konw the harder we push the more damage we can do to ourselves.

I don't know how to make it better, except to add one person to show you that you're not alone. I hope today is better for you than the last few days have been.

Meli

Meli- Thank you so much for the understanding and hugs. I sometimes need that reminder that I am not alone You have always understood so well I know we will both get there, we just have to keep pushing huh? Although I do wish we both could take it easier on ourselves to maybe help a little.... Rock and a hard place kinda situation though!

Leeloo- Thanks! Its so great to find that understanding. You said that you have been dealing with the chronic migraines since 2006? I have too. Since its been so long, I guess I just hit these times that is hard to keep going, nearly overwhelming. I usually pick myself back up and get going again, tho. I am sure you understand that.

I haven't tried many anti depressants for depression alone. I did try a few, like lexapro, cymbalta, a few others. But I don't have very bad depression most of the time. I just hit these periods where I get overwhelmed and depressed for a while, then I am usually ok, usually. I have tried several as migraine preventatives but can't mix them with the MAOI. I don't think Doc will take me off of this yet. I am hoping that in time I will respond to it. The very first thing it did for me was lift nearly all of the depression I did experience, so it has helped that way. I am open to trying agian, if I do go off of the maoi. I need those options.

I have heard great things about Abilify- I hope you have luck with it. I may just ask about that one in time myself.... Wht muscle relaxer are you on, if you don't mind me asking. I take 2 of them myself. Norflex and baclofen
I will def be asking about a steriod pack. I see my mig doc on wednesday, so I will ask for ANY options that may help this!

Work is a sticky situation. I work for the school system and took every sick day I had when I was hospitalized. I can do FMLA, but wont untill absolutely neccessary since we have to do a write up and have it approved through the school system I have thought about reducing my hours or halfdays, so I still have options. Did it help for you to reduce your hours at work? How did you go about doing that?

We do need that time to relax. In fact, besides work, I ahve hardly left my bedroom today. And headed back soon.

Droolie- Thank you too. You guys have been a wonderful support when I need somewhere to lean. The balancing limits thing is still alittle hard for me but you are right. I am hoping that I just need time.

Thank you all for your support and hugs! I needed taht. I am now headed back to bed, since my headpain is starting to grow Thanks again!

I'm taking Zanaflex for a muscle relaxer. I have been singing its praises since I started it.

I tend to sink into depression terribly during constant migraine attacks. They don't have to be severe, just an extended pattern will do it. The upped dose of Zoloft has helped a lot with that...I am glad the MAOI is giving you some depression relief. Hang in there, it may give you more benefits later down the road. I have found the Zoloft has eased my anxiety considerably, but I have some social anxieties that really needed addressing and the Zoloft helped with those too. I don't just stare at people anymore, like, "WHAT do YOU want?" I still avoid public when I can, besides not being able to drive often I just don't have the energy to care, you know? That sounds so bad, but people freak me out a bit.

I can imagine working in the school system is very demanding. I have the option of FMLA right now, but haven't taken it. I don't work in an industry where my hours are fixed, so I can choose the days and hours that I work. I was in management before, so I was fixed, but I demoted into employee so I have the option of being picky. It is not an ideal situation for finances (though I do get paid a high wage for my industry, I do not work more than 25 hours per week), but there is nothing I can do about it right now. My husband does not want me to file for disability just yet. I am waiting on PFO treatment before I go on and make that decision.

I can't say that dropping my hours has helped in a major way because I am still chronic. I feel less stressed because I am not responsible for the store anymore but it's stressful when I need to call in. Generally I get a lot of assistance from other employees who need the hours and are sympathetic to my illness, but sometimes I still fear repercussions, which is why I am only working 25 hours per week.

I am relieved because I have plenty of time to sleep as I see fit, but there are downsides to having less hours...I don't know. I wish I had positive things to say about it. I just don't get out much, maybe once a week with my mom and my husband tries to get me out the door on the weekends. I can't do it all the time though.

Please let us know what your doc says!

Dearheart, the balancing thing is a little hard for all of us at times. Especially those of us that are driven to get out there and live it up at any cost. Not to mention those of us that like to do things just so, and give 100% even if we've only got 65% at any given moment. We get it.

I UNDERSTAND THE CONSTANT FIGHT. I HAVE HAD MIGRAINES SINCE AGE 5 AND IN THE LAST TWO YEARS, MUCH WORSE THAN EVER. I HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH BASAL TYPE MIGRAINES. I HAVE BEEN ON LOTS OF DIFFERENT MEDICINE COCKTAILS, WITH NO GREAT HELP. I HAVE AT LEAST 4-5 DAYS A WEEK WHEN I AM DOWN AND OUT WITH A HEADACHE FROM THE DEPTHS OF YOU KNOW WHERE. I UNDERSTAND THE NOT WANTING TO SPEND YOUR LIFE IN THE ER. I HAVE MADE THREE TRIPS IN TWO WEEKS. ONCE I WAS HOSPITALIZED FOR TWO WEEKS AND WAS PUT ON MORPHINE TO JUST KEEP ME KNOCKED OUT. THE GETTING OUT OF BED IS DEFINITELY HARD, ONE OF MY MAIN MOTIVATORS IS MY DAUGHTER(AGE 12). I WANT TO SHOW HER THAT I CAN BE STRONG EVEN WHEN I FEEL LIKE I AM HAVING MY HEAD RIPPED OPEN ALL DAY LONG. I TRY MY BEST TO BE STRONG, BUT THE MIGRAINES ARE MAKING US BOTH SUFFER. I MISS A LOT OF THINGS BECAUSE OF THEM. I HAVE FOUND THAT THE VICKS VAPOR RUB YOU CAN USE WHEN YOU HAVE A COLD SEEMS TO HELP ME SOME AND DEFINITELY HELPS ME SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT FOR SOME REASON. I DONT REALLY QUESTION IT TOO MUCH BECAUSE IT WORKS. I ALSO HAVE A SHIATSU MASSAGER THAT USUALLY STAYS ON MOST OF THE DAY,BECAUSE I USE IT ON THE BACK OF HEAD AND NECK. IT HELPS MOST OF THE TIME. I HOPE YOU CAN FIND SOMETHING OR ANYTHING THAT HELPS. I ALWAYS FELT ALONE UNTIL I FOUND THIS SITE. IT HELPS SOMETIMES TO JUST LET IT OUT. MY ADVICE IS TRY EVERYTHING, IT COULDN'T HURT.

it can be really hard day in and day out living with pain. and sometimes life and plain stink. alaura- i really hope that you find some relief soon and i hope that your upcoming appointment with your doctor goes well.

best.

Hello and welcome to our forum family, Kripmeli! Our goal is to provide everyone with the information and support that we all need to manage our Migraines and/or headaches. To that end, we consider this a “safe harbor,” where nobody tries to sell us anything, and we all use “family-friendly” language so parents are comfortable letting their children read the forum with them.

Please take a few minutes to review our policies and guidelines along with the other information in the START HERE folder. For information about Migraines, a good article to begin with is Learning About Migraines - Where to Start

I think I might have welcomed you in an earlier thread, but if not, it never hurts to say hi again. Hi!

I'd really like to read your post a little more carefully, and find you some info from our site, but I'm having some difficulty focusing on the all caps print. I'm also "fogged in" with fibro fog tonight, which isn't really helping with the all caps. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll be able to focus a little better, and can come back and read it better. All caps are really hard for a lot of us to read, so if you could do us a favor and type in regular lower-case, we'll be better able to read your posts and respond. We appreciate it very much.

In the meantime, welcome again!