Migraine

Just let her go. . . Just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have a medication and it's just got to build up in my system. Why aren't I really happy? I have aches and pains I tell my doctor about and nun of them want to hear about. Heck, I'm tired of hearing about.

I begining to go back to old habits. Self medicate. I can hug myself and say it will be ok. I understand. You know? Even my friend at work is getting on my nerves with her lack of understanding of migraines. On one hand I'm not sick or I wouldn't be here. Oh but wait another co-worker gets them and he looks it and has to go he needs to go. I told her look aren't everything.

I'm more fed up with everything and everyone around me. Me too. No, I don't know what I want to happen. I need something to change. Something I can see or feel positive. Meds, not so much pos. ok?.. Hey ya'll don't mind me, I'm just talkin' here. Not really saying much. Just rambling on and on. Who ever reads this don't worry. I'm stable and I'm not.

I'm just feed up. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Everyone and everything around me. I'm trying really I am. It's hard to feel up beat. When you feel down all the time. You know I'm even too much for the last 2 theapies I've had. Very very sad

Like I said Any one who may read this. . .may understand . . . has been here. . .has maybe felt like I can't talk to anyone because I'm too much. I have way too much emotion inside of me. That's why I always feel alone. I'm trying.

Maybe now I can think that I've got this out. I've got this weekend to think. I know something isn't right. I'm afaid to go to sleep at night. I've feel like I have the right medication but still. . . the other symtoms are getting worst. I'm still......


Dutchess

Dutchess,
If you're on a new preventative med, there's a chance it could be causing major depression issues. Just something to think about.

Getting it out is so much better than stuffing it all in and carting it around with you. I know that releasing steam like this has helped me in the past, since once I've spewed, I can think a lot more clearly.

Gads, but it's tough when everything gets so emotional. I'm a heart on my sleeve kind of person, and I've been there. It's hard when pain and illness throw a big monkey wrench into your emotions. There have been times when I've gone out of my way to hole up so that I'm not "inflicting" me on people around me. That can be a lonely feeling, even though I knew I wasn't really alone, and that everyone was still pulling for me. I know you're trying. And I know you're trying very hard.

I think there is hope in that you feel like you might be on the right track med-wise. That's something to hold onto and build momentum from. Does your doctor know you're afraid to go to sleep? Sleep is the best restorative in the arsenal, and perhaps if your doctor can help you with sleep, you'll be feeling better overall.

Hang in there, Dutchess! I know it's hard to keep your patience up and work through things, but it's a process, and is pretty much never a quick fix kind of thing. We're here when you need to talk things through. I hope you're able to think things through this weekend, and that you can get an excellent plan of action going.

Dutchess, Droolie, and All Y'all,

The "hole" we dig for ourselves is simply the center of the surrounding us.

It's the rest of us, holding the suffering one(s) up, like a life jacket. We are also bouys for each other, and lighthouses.

Right now, I'm also bobbing along in a lifejacket. Can't get into all the "stuff" that's going on around me, but it's all pretty serious.

Knowing y'all (and some other good friends) are out there keeps me going.

With love,

Rebecca, The Island Mama

PS, there is a town in South Carolina named Ware Shoals. I wonder if Mark Twain ever visited there.

I LOVE that! You have such a cool perspective!

Sending you all kinds of smooshes to help cushion all the bumps you're encountering. I hope everything sorts out and evens out very soon.

quote:

Originally posted by newbattleaxe:

The "hole" we dig for ourselves is simply the center of the surrounding us.

Shuckydarns, Droolie!

When I look up from my hole, I see y'all's faces and hands. Y'all's hands are holding onto the ropes y'all have dropped in for me. All the ropes have padded handles and other loops, and y'all are ready to pull me out. I can reach every rope.

We use all our ropes for each other. These ropes of love and grace make all our holes a little less deep - more like potholes each time.

Here's for the day when all our holes are less than ankle deep. Then, we can throw a shovel or two's worth of soil in, plant flowers, and dance with each other around them.

Rebecca, The Island Mama

Oh Dutchess, do I ever understand your ramblings. I understand so well the hard times and the frustrations, and the things it does to our emotions. Rebecca's right about relying on the others here to support those of us having the hardest time right now. If it wasn't for all you guys I don't know what I would do.


Lots and lots of

Meli

Dutchess,
I'm so very glad you are sharing your feelings with us!! There is nothing quite like the feeling of being alone when you are suffering physically and emotionally!!

Sometimes I don't think the battle would be quite as difficult if it weren't for the neverending nature of it. We can gear ourselves to take almost anything for a short period of time, as long as relief is in sight. With migraines, the chronicity of the disease just makes it so darn overwhelming!

I love what the others have said - we are here to support each other. It may not be the same as having warm arms and helping hands right there with you, but we do walk this walk with you!

I know that I've been fighting emotionally lately, but am convinced it's because of one of my meds. I'm working on getting that straightened out and would encourage you to speak with your doc about any meds that may be causing you to feel so down!

Of course, with this disease, you have to look at so many things as well as pain relief - staying hydrated, building relationships, exercising, eating well.

I'm also prayiing that you will find some things today of breathtaking beauty and joy - the sun in a blue sky, the laughter of a child, the tickle of puppy breath, the sound of wind chimes as a breeze blows through it!

Wishing you hugs and laughter and peace most of all!

Cyn

Ok everyone I'm talking, neruo cut down my topamax to nights only.

I don't feel quite right in the head. I feel like 2 people. One side hurts and throbs and the other is normal.

I have told many doctors this. I don't know if they hear me.

I'm trying. . . .

I told them I feel water in my head. moving around. nobody sees anything.

Ha Ha it's all in my head. And I really feel crazy. All of you are the closes to me.

and it's keeping me sane. I just want the sloshing to stop. How do I tell them.

Dutchess,
I am so very sorry that you are having these problems!!! I can relate. And I know everyone is different and reacts differently to meds but something you said, in your last post made me respond. You said you felt like 2 different people and you didn't feel quite right in the head.

I too felt like that when I was on Topamax. I was newly diagnosed and I honestly thought I was going insane. The higher the dosage went, the worse I felt. My body felt bad-I had tingling in hands and feet. I was tired all the time. My doctor kept telling me I had to let the Topamax build up in my system and give it time to work.

Finally, after 6 mos, when I could not spell or remember things and I was only on 200mgs, but I knew something was not right, I went to see another neuro and she put me on another preventative, Zonegran, and I have been much better ever since.

I just wanted to share my experience with you to say that if you continue to feel bad, you may want to think about a different medication. There are so many to try and Topamax is great for some but it's not for everyone.

I'm glad you came to the forum and vented your feelings. That's what this place is all about. And as you can see, there are so many great people who care about you and what you are going thru. And want to help you!!

My journey has not been an easy one and I can empathize with you completely!!!

One thing that I had to do was get on an anti-depressant. I realized I could not get thru this without some help. It has made all the difference in my physical health as well as my mental health. So, you also might want to look into that.

I will be praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts. Better days are ahead, I promise. Just hang in there and keep reaching out for help. You are not alone.
Pam