Migraine

So... I'm feeling whiny... I had a hugely irritating experience over the weekend. I figured I'd vent here, where I know you will all get it, instead of risking talking to someone who won't understand me.

Friday night I went to a friend's birthday party with a ton of people and I ended up sitting next to her brother, who I've known forever but I generally can't stand (he reminds me of why every time I see him).

I was joking with a friend of mine who is epileptic and we were polling our friends on which they'd choose, epilepsy or the nine month headache. Somewhere along that tangent things got more serious... and this fellow decides to tell me "Well, everybody gets headaches."

I don't know if it was the fact that I don't like him to begin with, the two drinks I'd had, feeling emotional over a good friend who just told me she was moving or what... but I lost it. Usually I just keep my mouth shut, but I guess I've heard that sentence too many times! I told him, in no uncertain (or forum appropriate) terms that he could shut his mouth and move down a few seats. A few of my friends echoed the sentiment. He shrugged it off like it was nothing. I just ignored him the rest of the night.

Looking back, I could have tried to explain things to him, but really I didn't have it in me. Knowing the guy, he wouldn't have listened.. he would have argued, and I really don't care to argue about my pain and it's validity. It just gets so exhausting to have this repeating challenge, or at least that's what it feels like.

I know it's exhausting and frustrating to try and explain to someone how we feel or what we go through when they just don't seem to understand. Especially when you know they won't listen to you anyway. Grrrr.

Sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles and I think you did the right thing by not trying to educate this person at that point in time. Who knows maybe another day will come along and you can educate him with this:

Migriane Education For Those "Who Don't Get It"

I hope you had a fun evening despite her brother

Have you heard this one before:

"You can enlighten the ignorant."

I believe that says it all...

Candace,

I've had many people say this to me, too.

Once or twice, though, I've responded with something like this:

"Yeah, everybody gets headaches. But migraines are a little different. When I get them, I lose vision in my eyes, I throw up again and again. I also have some things happen that look sort of like a stroke: my eyelid droops, the side of my face droops, and my hand and arm feel numb. I dunno, but I think all that stuff makes migraine a little different than a "headache," doesn't it??"

Some people really don't know what is involved in a migraine attack...Not everyone is interested in learning about migraine, but I still like to try from time to time!!

jenny

How does your friend feel about her boorish, unenlightened sibling?

Just be glad this idiot isn't your sibling.

Mary in NM

My friend loves her brother... but I know she's aware that he's not "all that"... I've heard her say before, "How did I end up so normal?" when talking about her siblings. I did, however, still enjoy my evening. I didn't brood about it for long... even though it kinda resurfaced a day later.

You're all right, I could have done a better job at educating him. I was just to frustrated to do so at the time. I forgot to mention I was almost working off of four hours of sleep... I stayed up all night for my EEG that morning and then went to work... so I was definitely not thinking clearly.

I think I generally get to feeling like someone who is going to say something like that isn't the type of person I'm up for educating... maybe I should be a bit more brave in my efforts. I suppose it's the wound that makes me feel sheepish, I'm feeling hurt that someone is hearing that I'm in such pain, but they still call it common and unimportant.

Sometimes it isn't worth your breath to educate some people.

Some people never will get it.

Your past experience with this person should be the indicator of the entire situation.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Mary in NM