Migraine

At the moment I'm on anti depressants but I must admit I am at a new all time low I thought I couldn't get any lower... I missed another week of lectures, spent another 2 days in bed and couldn't talk or get my words in a logical order to express myself and on top of all that I couldn't cook dinner last night again because I was too weak.. I'm so darn tired of this... I feel completely and utterly disabled... I feel like I'm sapping all the energy out of everyone else around me even when I don't have a migraine... my partner has to carry me to the toilet during an attack for goodness sake because I couldn't walk...he shouldn't have to do all that for me... I want to be able to do something nice for him but I feel so crappy all the time... I feel like I have nothing to offer in our relationship...sometimes I feel like he and everyone else would be far better off without me dragging them down... that maybe being on my own would do the world of good....

I'm sick of feeling like crap... how on earth do you cope...??

Oh Kiwi - how I feel for you!! I'm also walking through my own bout with depression right now, but I know that there is something better waiting for me! How fortunate you are to have a partner who is there with you to help you. He must feel so honored to be allowed into your pain and your privacy.

I can hear that you are utterly discouraged. I wish I had a spectacular magic wand that I could wave for all of us. I've been thinking about your question - how do I cope? For me, it's about turning to people who love me who can be strong for me when I can't; it's about writing down all the things that I am really and truly thankful for; it's about realizing that there is so much beauty around me that I fail so see when I'm walking in the dark and making myself open my eyes to see; it's about knowing that I have a loving God who treasures and honors every one of my tears and who never abandons me; it's about the cold nose of my sweet puppy when she wants me to pet her; it's about new friends on this forum who really get it; it's even as silly as getting to watch the cute guy on the Mentalist!

So many times, I feel that I just can't hold on any longer - why even bother - is life even worth it, and I let go just to find that there are always people there to catch me!

I'm praying that you will be comforted by the ones who love you and the things you love and that you will know that you know that you know that you are more than your symptoms!!! You are a precious individual who I am sure gives much more than you receive!

Hang in there!

Cyn

Thankyou Cyn, for your encouraging and kind words you have really made my day after such a crap start to the week... I really hope everything works out... for all of us really...

I feel like I should be locked away in a funny farm... sitting in a corner, rockingback and forth, drooling a bit (wait I sorta do the drooling thing already lol) Ah well... you know what they say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" I'm not quite dead yet... but not quite feeling the strong-ness building up either... for now I guess I'll gorge myself on chocolate biscuits and junk food whilst watching a monty python movie with my mum....

Thanks for being inspirational (that goes for everyone on this forum)

Aroha Nui

Kia Kaha (stay strong)