Migraine

I am beyond sick of my boss right now.

In the last 10 days I have had 8 migraines. In the last month I have had maybe a dozen pain free days. Despite this, I completed my monthly audit assignment early, and assisted in finishing someone else's work too.

So yesterday, I was having a killer migraine. A constant 6 with stabs of 8. It was one of those that even laying down with ice on my head and a sleep mask over my eyes I was still in a lot of pain.

So around 12:30, I call my boss to ask if I can take off the remaining 2 1/2 hours of my day. Her response

"T'uh, I guess so" (You know that utter obnoxious "t'uh" that comes with a huge eye roll.)

I am angry for two reasons.
1) its not like I am not getting my and other people's work done
2) having an FMLA approved condition is apparently not enough to convince her that I don't just get "headaches."

I really think she believes I call out every time I get a migraine. I have an evaluation coming up, at which point I need to address this with her. Because I am sick of it. I shouldn't be made to feel bad on the rare occasion I am just too tired to work in pain. If I can't get this resolved then, I am going to her boss (who is MUCH more sympathetic) to complain. If that doesn't work, I'll go to HR.

I feel bad enough about how much this condition effects my life. I had to drop out of school temporarily because I am barely making attendance requirements. I shouldn't be treated like this....

Its terrible, but I wish she'd get a migraine. Just one. Just so she could know....

Kat I wish you didn't have to be going through this. There are just those people who don't understand. I know how you feel though about wanting her to just once feel what you are going through. Maybe than she would get it.

You might need to remind her when you call out that your work is done. Or talk to her before your review about her attitude so it does not impact your review. It would be awful to have that happen especially when you are completing your assigments and still able to assist others despite migraines!!

Take care of yourself. Don't let the stress of dealing with her make you feel worse, she wins than Kat. You are a much better person than she is.

Cindy

Kat,



Your boss is one of those people who just doesn't "get it."

You certainly don't deserve to be treated rudely, especially if your work is all finished and you aren't calling off constantly for silly things.

Do what you need to do to try to help her understand what you're going through. As you said, you may need to talk with other supervisors to get through to her.

Take care of yourself, Kat! Don't let her ruin your whole day--it's just not worth it.

More !
jenny

Ooohhh, Kat! Now your boss has succeeded in making me angry. If it means anything, I'm proud of you for getting your job completed early and for helping someone else with their work too. I hope you get the chance to let your boss know that you're also willing to be a team player, despite the migraine pain!!

Take care of yourself

I appreciate everyone's indignation on my behalf and all the hugs. The support I get from this board always helps me so much.

Cindy: I'm not worried about it effecting my review. Because if it does I'm going straight to HR and the director of my division (who frankly thinks the sun rises and sets at my desk ). Since all my work gets done, if I get a bad review it would be flagrant discrimination because of my medical condition.

Jenny: I think I am going to try sending her a copy of Teri's letter explaining what this is like. If that doesn't work I'll take it as far as it needs to go for me to get treated fairly.

Laura: Thank you for appreciating the work I do. Its funny b/c my boss' boss sent me an email on Wednesday night to thank me for the huge amount of work I got done on Wednesday. So she doesn't have a problem with me. It just stinks the one person who isn't sympathetic is the person I have to deal with in the chain of command.

Thanks again guys

Kat sorry you have to deal with this numbskull (dont' we wish our skulls were numb sometimes, too?)

This may sound crazy but, you might try "training" her by calling or emailing her daily and saying, "Hi, just letting you know my pain is at a 3 on a 1 to 10 scale and I'm working." "Hi, just checking in, just got my monthly audit complete with pain at a # 4 for the last 3 hours." - "Hi today my pain is at a 6 and it's the 4th day this week, so I have to take the rest of the day off."

I don't want to suggest that you set up some absolute standard about when you can work and when you can't, but just start training her to get your world. You also might train her to remember your rights: use "FMLA" a lot, "hi there, unfortunately I have a high level of head pain so I need to exercise my FMLA rights and take the afternoon off today." Or even, "Wow, what a great week, I didn't have to use my FMLA time this week!"

Just a thought.

- Megs

I wouldn't count on that boss to know about the 1 to 10 pain scale. He sounds like someone who's never been in real pain.

Yes, I definitely think Teri's letter is worth a try. I don't see how it can make things any worse.

Hi Kathy,

I bet you already are doing this, but have everything documented when you go in for you evaluation. How your work was done ahead of time, you handled other people's work, etc. Those are important facts for "the powers that be" especially when dealing with invisiable illness.

Hang in there

Thanks for the suggestions.

Megs: I have thought about emailing her an hourly status of the amount of pain I am in sometimes, just to annoy her!! Though she's called me while I am working mid migraine, and knows I work through them... But you made a great point about reminding her about my FMLA approval when I need to take time off.

Nancy: I luckly have the best documenation ever about doing someone else's work last month. The email from my boss herself asking me to pick up the slack.

Right now I am hoping I won't have to take so much time off from work anymore, because I have temporarily withdrawn from school. I didn't want to, I love school. I am in school so I can stop doing this job... But I am just too exhausted and in too much pain to keep trying to do 56 hour weeks when I can barely make it through 40.

Thanks again though for all the support