Migraine

Hi all,

I am having a really horrible week and need a pep talk. I just posted, but realized that I accidentally used a trigger word or two that need to get edited out. I apologize -- apparently was venting a little too hard!

I've been disabled with this disease for 9 years. I just got my whole regimen changed in the hospital. It was a huge investment of time and money and energy. I'm waiting out the next four weeks to see if I'm going to have improvement. I hate my new emergency meds.

I had a few good days when I first got out of the hospital, but this week has been completely awful. My husband is getting discouraged, and for the first time in weeks, I'm discouraged too. I'm past discouraged, actually. I'm feeling hopeless.

I know I'm not going to end up in the ER - it's more that this has been essentially a whole week in bed (more or less) and I am at the end of my rope.

I know I need to stay the course. I know I have to give these meds a chance. I have just temporarily lost my courage and committment. Can somebody remind me to be patient? I'm trying so hard, but I know I have to give myself another shot in two hours and I almost don't care enough to do it.

Lynne

Lynne,
I've been sitting and watching TV for the last hour feeling sorry for myself. For pretty petty reasons. Something moved me to check the forums and I'm glad I did.

We are all hear for you and you will hear from many of us tonight. Changing meds is so difficult. The wait is hard. You can only take it an hour at a time. Are there things you've done in the past the can help relax you a bit to help you though this? Even if the distration or relaxation is short lived? I find distractions helpful when I don't feel well for what ever the reason.

You have many friends and alot of support here keep in touch tonight.

Cindy

Hey Lynne,

It's like starting at the begining again isn't it? Just when you feel like things are looking up, the other shoe drops

I understand how you feel. Like you, I've been dealing with Migraines and chronic pain for almost 12 years and it stinks (no trigger words for me ) It feels like just when something starts to work, BAM, it stops.

You can hang on for two hours til the next shot. We are here with you to do it. Are you doing anything at home now? Reading, TV, a craft to kind of take your mind off the pain. Are you able to get out of bed?I'm making potato skins for tomorrows visit to a friends house now...

Let me know how you are .....

Aww Lynne, I think we've all been where you are. I feel like I get there every other day sometimes. I try to think of it this way: every med that doesn't work is one step closer to the right treatment that WILL work. So while you may feel like you're starting over at square one, you're really not. You already know meds that won't work for you and you're that much ahead of the game.

It's hard, really really hard, to have migraine disease, to live with the pain and all the other symptoms. It's even worse trying to be patient and find something that will work, when it seems like so many things don't work and often just make us feel even more sick.

But one day you WILL find that treatment that does work. I can't tell you when - I wish I could - but I can tell you that it WILL happen. So you need to give this a chance.

You are a very brave woman to stick this out. It's much easier to just give up and let the beastie win. But this is your life, and the beastie has ruined too many lives. So it doesn't deserve to ruin yours too! And I know you won't let it. You're a strong and wonderful person, much stronger than the beast. You can do this.

You know why I know that? Because you are in the best possible place with the best possible people to help you through.

We're all here for you to help you get through this, because we understand your pain and we all go through the self-doubt and hopelessness (unfortunately). But it means we can be here for you, help shoulder the burden and help you get through this. We can be strong for you.

So just hang on a little longer. Take it just one minute, one breath at a time and it WILL get better. This too shall pass. And one day, when your treatment starts working, you will be so happy you didn't give in to the beastie.

We love you, Lynne. Keep checking in with us, ok? We are absolutely, 100% here for you. And we won't leave your side.

OK. OK. I can do this.

Thanks for your kindness and reminders. I really really needed that.

I am working on distracting myself. My husband brought me food, which was really nice. And my son shopped online (on my bed on my laptop) for his birthday t-shirts, which killed another 45 minutes or so and was fun (ok, my eyes kept closing but he understood).

I am psyching myself up for my next shot of Benadryl. That should mean at least 4 hours of deep sleep, and that will be a good thing. This headache has just GOT to break!

I will take it a little bit at a time. And I will keep trying to remember the very good point that I already know which meds DON'T work, so this is my chance to find out what might.

I have a DVD that I can put in my computer and watch till the Benadryl knocks me out. I also pulled out my knitting (an easy pattern with little chance of making mistakes). I guess if I end up not being able to sleep, I'll have plenty to do.

Thanks for sticking with me. I am going to get everything ready near my bed for when my blood pressure drops and I get dizzy!

OK. It'll be OK. Thanks. I needed some reminders.

Lynne

Thinking of you, Lynne - when you're feeling up to it, drop in and let us know how you are, ok?

MJ,

I don't know how I would have made it this far in the evening without you folks.

I just gave myself my shot of Benadryl, and I should be pretty much knocked out in 45 minutes. I'm a little nauseated but it's not too bad. I monitored my blood pressure, and it's OK. I moved all my stuff out of my bedroom and into the living room sleeper sofa so that I can do migraine things and not worry about waking my husband.

I've got my laptop, I'm watching "Fargo", and I've miraculously remembered to log all my emergency meds and times (sloppy, but in writing) tonight. I have both my comfort shawls that others have knitted for me in the past.

So, I'm at least cozy and settled in. I'm trying not to think about tomorrow, which might end up being another day like this one. I keep telling myself it's way better than ending up in the ER.

I'm not crying anymore, and I did manage to give both boys a little backrub (they are swimmers and they were both sore) before bed. It was short, but at least it was hands-on. I promised both of them another little one tomorrow.

So, I've made it through another few hours. I am still really hating this more than usual, but I think I'm getting my perspective back. When I dashed into the kitchen to dispose of my syringe and needle for my shot, my husband looked funny at me, and I said, "Hey, I've got about 4 minutes before my bp drops, so you better get out of my way before I drop" and he laughed and ducked out of the way. It was nice to see him smile.

I'm hanging in. It's going to be a long night, but I think I'm going to make it. Boy, this is hard today!

I'm grateful to you for checking in. Truly grateful. When I say my blessings tonight before I go to sleep, you (and everyone here) will be in my blessings.

Lynne

Lynn,
Thank you for checking back in. You do sound better. You are settled in with your things and I hope you are able to sleep and get some relief tonight.

It was good you had the time with your boys. My daughter is a rower and loves it when I will rub her back. It's nice they will let us have that kind of contact with them isn't it?

You sounded pretty snuggled in. Rest well.

Cindy

Lynne--

I hope and pray today is a bit better. I'm really glad you have the benadryl to help keep you asleep through this dreadful transition time. I know it's a royal pain having to deal with dropping b.p., and side effects, but when I'm going thru the same, just let me sleep!!! Maybe you could set your disposal stuff up closer to where you inject?

Glad you had a few moments of closeness with family members yesterday. Hope you have a few more good moments today!

LOL
Tracie

Hi Lynn

How's it going today?

Hi Lynne,

I just posted to you in Introductions. I hope you're feeling better this morning and got plenty of rest last night. I'm going to steal a quote from Droolie I believe:

"It's hard to have patience when you're the patient"

So true isn't it? But, you're doing a great job!

All my best to you

Nope. That's not a droolie quote. Though it's a good one nonetheless.

I'm sorry you've had such a rough week. I'd be simply beside myself after a week of laying around. I get owly after just a few hours. I'd be feeling quite discouraged after a week, too. I'd say that you're more than entitled to vent.

I'm glad you've got a lot of good things and people keeping you occupied, and that you're hanging in.

Lynne, I saw you posting on a few of the other threads today, and you sound a bit better. How are you feeling today?

Everyone here is right - you are doing a great job. Keep on keeping on, and we'll be here to help you every step of the way.

And you are such a sweetie for your thoughts and blessings last night. I'm hoping you're feeling better today, even if it's just a teeny bit better.

You keep hanging in there, ok?

Hey y'all,

I woke up on my own this morning instead of being awakened by pain and nausea. Hooray!

I don't feel great by any means, and I am taking it really slowly today, but I do feel like I succeeded in breaking the really bad part of the headache up by being aggressive with it yesterday.

I managed to pick up the house a little bit, do some really gentle yoga (mainly stretching and relaxing), chat a bit with my kids, and I also went for a little swim. Really slowly, and careful not to get my heart rate up very much so I didn't blow all my progress.

Now I am going to mix up some yogurt with something or other, fill my tummy, then probably take a nap.

Keep your fingers crossed for me! I've about run out of my week's worth of allowable emergency meds, so if this big bad boy comes back in full force, I'm gonna be on the phone with my doctor at the Diamond clinic, and possibly sent to the ER again. But I shouldn't worry about that right now, right?

I'm just happy to be walking around, wobbly though I am. I got a handicapped placard last year, and I was sensible and used it at the pool so I didn't need to walk far.

Thanks, thanks for checking in. I'm feeling far less hopeless than yesterday. Now I'm just frustrated because I have a thousand things I want to do and I have to slow down. But that's better than hopelessness.

Lynne

You got it, Lynne - fingers and toes are crossed that things level out for you and the beast leaves you alone for the time being. Now, you just remember to take it easy!