Migraine

Lynn -

First of all I want to give you a few hugs too.


I wish I could give you more words of wisdom but feel I could have written your post with very few minor changes. I know this forum is a great place to come for comfort and understanding. I dont know where I would be without their help.

I understand having a lot of the family responsibility but you have to take care of you too. I also work greater than 55 hours a week and come home exhausted only to have to deal with with more responsibilities before our day is over. I dont know how you end up making everything from scratch too!

My husband greatly disturbs my sleep too and then will blame me for my poor sleep habits and has yelled at me for having migraines too. I know for me, sleep is a big trigger. I dont know if its possible for you but one thing that has helped me a little is when I dont work through lunch is to take a quick catnap when I really need it. If thats not possible sometimes just a little quiet time during lunch can help you if you cant. I realize theres a lot more going on here than just a sleep trigger but I know when I dont get the proper rest I cant think or talk straight on top of getting the migraine. This makes doing everything that much harder.

Ive been thinking about you a lot since I read your post. I hope everything went well with your talk and that he starts to understand and help you out more. It is his turn.

DS

Good Morning!
Well, I think EVERYONE intended for DH and I to talk last night-we lost power for almost 4 hours and there was nothing else he could do! It tuns out that he wasn't mad at my migraine/job, but was having some "mid-life crises" feelings of his own. Thankfully his best friend at work kicked his backside and basically told him to get over it and get on with life! DH was feeling "old" and that wasn't sitting to well with him. Anyway, I told him that his timing stunk because it made me feel like he was mad at me again and blaming my migraine on work.

DH has high blood pressure and I used that to parallel migraine disease as being a DISEASE and one that heredity plays a role in. I also used it to parallel how work doesn't CAUSE it, but the stress is a contributing factor-I also tole him HE contributed to that stress! Once I put it in those terms, he understood and began asking me questions about it. I told him that, just like it did with his BP meds, my doc and I were working on finding the right combination of meds to work AND some lifestyle changes would have to be made-namely more SLEEP and HELP. I was able to tell him what triggers we've ID'd so far and how those are stackable, but we were working on ID-ing others I might have. DH also use to suffer from cluster headaches, but hasn't had one in over 5 years-main trigger was his blood pressure. He remembers that pain, so I told him to multiply it and add dizziness, nausea, vomiting and light sensitivity and he would sort of understand what my migraines were like.

To make this long story shorter, he agreed to get up earlier and help me in the morning with the kids lunches/breakfasts and dinner for that evening(yep-I have to cook supper at 5AM for that night!) AND to be more mindful of noise when he comes to bed. I never knew when he came to bed last night and when our 6 year old had a bad dream at 1:30AM, he offered to go see about him so I could go back to sleep. I love to sleep with our 6 year old, so I went up. He still snuggles up you, so it's a comfort. I got back in bed about 2:30, but I was able to sleep in this morning. Keep your fingers crossed that DH finally understands that it's not "just a headache" and it's something we will have to work on, just like we did his blood pressure. I'm determined if he "forgets" he'll get a kick in the backside again from me to help him remember.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement-you will never know how much it helped!
Lynn

I am glad you guys were able to talk a bit and get some things off your chests.

That in itself helps to know where the other person is coming from.

Glad to hear it and that you have breakfast plans today!

Lynn with great news. Never was a power outage so well timed!!

His high bp is much like migraine disease in that for both of you it really can't be seen and you probably both look very healthy.

Good luck and take care,

Cindy

PS Now if you can get the nurse in the office to shape up and be on time......

Oh, Lynn! What a miracle!! I'm so happy things turned out so well.

Lynne--

When I saw your post, I called my 78 year old mother who lives about 15 feet away and read it to her. Her reply: "A power outage. I knew God would respond."

What wonderful news!! Just keep your resolution, and if you can, still consider counseling. It is so remarkably freeing to be able to get to the real roots of issues with someone else guiding you. It made a gigantic difference in both mine and DH's lives!

Tracie

Lynn, I'm so glad to hear that you and your DH were able to talk things out. It sounds like he's starting to understand where you're coming from. That really is good news.

for you. I'm proud of you that you stuck up for what you need and talked through things - even if you didn't have much choice with the power outage! Good for you!

Lynn,

I've been reading along here and am SO happy to hear how things worked out.

I'm keeping my that his good behavior continues. If not, it will be your turn to tell him to get a life!!!

Never underestimate the Providence of God.

And (D)H better not play the "My health is more important than yours because I have stroke-level HBP." You can remind him that Migrainous strokes kill more people every year than handguns.

The diet changes for his blood pressure will surely help your Migraine too since you won't be exposed to all those chemicals, eh? That's a plus, but don't tell him.

Love you, hun.