Migraine

Well, I will try not to let this get to long but I need some advice and suggestions from people who know what I am talking about. I guess what ......thats you guys!

I have not been feeling very good for the last couple, ok three weeks. Some of it is the HM I know. The rest I am not sure about. I think I am starting to get VERY anxious, nervous, scared (not sure which) because school is going to start up in a couple of weeks. I am a full time teacher, I finished last year barely. My HM started last fall after the school year started and continues now. That is probably part of my problem, going back to work full time 7:30 a.m.--5:00 ( I have many, many mtgs after school dismisses) How will I survive this schedule with kids all day, meetings at night. My own family of 4 kids one with special needs at home. Okay you see where I am going with this. Any suggestions?????

So that's one point of anxiety, another is I have some other health issues going on, but I don't know what it is. I have swelling in my left foot and ankle. My joints in my hands are very sore and swollen at times they even feel warm to the touch. Typing is a real adventure so I apologise for the typos that I don't catch and correct. I run low grade fevers (99.5--101 for what seems like no reason. My hair seems to be falling out...YIKES!! I am completely exhausted, yet have trouble sleeping. I seem to hurt everywhere knees, back, hips. I have had a diagnosis of FM about a year ago and I suppose that this could be the culprit, but I feel different than I have before when the FM flares.

My did has RA so that always scares me and is in the back of my mind. I do have an appointment on Monday morning with my internist. I actually cancelled an appt I had with her last Thurs as I didn't feel well enough to drive myself the 45 miles to see her. How sad is that

My DH also continues to be a source of stress for me. He keeps reminding me that school is going to start soon and I need to get up to school and start getting ready. My caseload is much bigger this year, and I will be very busy with my kids. I know he's right but I just can't bring myself to start working. He isn't very supportive of my and my health problems. He believes that if there is no "test" to prove that I have a problem then I probably don't have one and should just deal with it. I try, but it's getting so hard. I feel like a failure at home and work.

So there is it my sad sob story. I just don't know where to begin to get ready for work. Esp with these added health problems. I hope I will have some answers on Monday. I just can't handle more weeks of this. HM is terrible enough, but whatever this other problem is I just can't deal with another thing.

I just feel cruddy, and don't have anywhere to turn. Running a fever again today, my hands/joints are even red and hot. I am going to try and rest while my youngest watches a movie.

Thanks guys

Lifeguard, first off, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I felt like I was reading my life story as I read this. I too was a teacher for twenty five years until last year. I was having migraines 20 days out of the month, body pain everywhere, extreme fatigue, and low grade fevers all the time. I was so tired I cried all the time and was having a difficult time even solving simple problems. I felt overwhelmed and was struggling to keep up at school. I had been struggling for the past five years if I had been honest with myself.

I had gone on medical leave several times ranging from 2 to 6 weeks while switching medications but was still just not cutting it. Finally, in Feb of 08 I went to my migraine specialist and demanded that we get to the bottom of this. I had to be very forceful because until then, I was only getting a 2 or 3 week medical leave note from him. I got him to give me to the end of the school year off. That was the start of the best thing I ever did.

During that time, I used up most of my saved up sick days. I went from doctor to doctor, got a zillion tests done, and just kept demanding a deeper look. I also submitted the paperwork for permanent disability. I didn't have all the answers yet, but I knew I could always pull my papers if I found the miracle cure.

By the time summer of 08 came, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, sleep apnea, and chronic fatigue syndrome. I sent in medical records from all my doctors but assumed that since NONE of these was provable by a medical test, I would be denied. To my amazement, I was given permanent disability by my teacher's retirement system. That's when it hit me . . . I really am disabled.

My husband was not supportive in the least through all this. But I couldn't worry about that. I had to find a way to make things work with my disability pay (which isn't too bad). Luckily, my kids are grown so even though two of them still live at home, I did not have to take care of them anymore.

The last year has been hard. I got some counseling by myself to help me get through the transition. I felt like I lost so much. I did not know how to be anything else but a teacher, mother, and wife. I was deeply hurt by many of my teacher friends (that's another long story) so I literally felt cut off from everything I knew.

My husband has pulled away emotionally a lot but I figure he has to work through his issues and I can't worry about him. Little by little, he is coming around. He is finally starting to believe that there is something wrong with me though he does nothing to help me. Maybe with more time.

Now as I watch another school year get ready to begin, I still feel the twinge of sadness at what I lost. But . . . I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT TEACHING ANYMORE. I loved it but on the days when my pain is at it's peak, I am so grateful I have nothing to worry about except my pain.

I'm not saying this is the answer for you but you have to take the time to become aggressive about finding answers to your health problems. You are the only one who is going to take care of you. If you need a shoulder or ear, I'm always willing to listen. While everyone on this site understands, being a teacher makes me REALLY understand what you're coping with. Teaching has become a 60 hour a week job and having pain while you're trying to do it is awful.

Take care my friend.

Teri

I can't put things any better than Teri amazingly did.

School can be a really tricky place to be when migraines are rampant. There are the demands of work load, on top of scads of environmental factors like noise and evil florescent lights. There's the fact that even with a fairly set schedule, we have to roll with punches every single day as one little glitch can trigger a tidal wave of repercussive changes. Teaching's a job that relies on brain power and an ability to think on the go, which is never easy with migraines in tow. I get it.

I'm glad you have an appointment to get all the new symptoms checked out. Hopefully it's something that's easily treated and dealt with. The important part in all this is remembering that you come first. Taking care of you is the paramount thing.

Teri as a teacher can give you great advice that way.

I am not a teacher or have even ever worked because of my illnesses. I have HM and know how absolutely disabling this disease is. Lifeguard you may need to seriously look at taking time off for a while. The only one that help you decide that is your doctor.

All of the symptoms you are talking about are part of HMs and FM. The anxiety and nervousness are huge compontents of a disease we have no control over, that can hit at any time, and we don't how bad it will be when it comes. You are not a failure!!! You are a strong woman who is dealing with a disease that is very bad and very real.

Even if your husband never accepts that you are really sick , that doesn't change that you are. A doctor has told you that you have HMs and FM, there is a criteria for both of these diseases that is very specific, and it isn't a figment of your imagination. You do have a problem and yes you are going to deal with it, because you aren't giving up on living.

Remember the spoon theory that others have referred to, it means we all have a limit to our natural ability and when your chronically ill a lot of our spoons disappear to the migraine beast, the fibro flare, the anxiety jitters, and the smothering depression blanket.

Feel better and hope you find some peace

Mary in NM

Terri, Droolie, and Mary---

Thank you so much for you k kind supportive words. I can't tell you all how much it helps to read your encouragement and support. I have read your posts over many times this weekend just trying to cope and make it through another awful day. It has been very comforting to see your words and know that I am not alone even though it may feel that way.

Terri-- I appreciate your words from a teachers point of view. I know that the up coming year has me very stressed out. I teach High School resource. This year my case load is huge and I just don't know how I am going to deal with all of it on a daily basis. I have several new kiddos that have huge needs (educationally and socially) I have given some thought to a medical leave type of thing, but don't know how we would afford it. I know my health should come first, but to be honest it doesn't always....or maybe most of the time. I also appreciate your support about DH. It is unbelievably difficult to do all of "this" alone without the support of the one that is supposed to support me and be by my side through sickness and in health. Well that's what we said anyway. Maybe he didn't mean it, just went through the motions. Thanks so much for your support.

Droolie--- you are so right that schools are a tricky place to be when having a migraine. Not only the lights, noise and schedule, but the people (like any work place) can bite ya in an instant. I think I am fairly (okay very) friendly and tolerant co-worker. But not everyone is supportive. To make things more complicated my DH is the boss. So everyone automatically thinks he is showing favoritism. He isn't as he doesn't even acknowledge my migraines, or other health issues. I don't have may sick days left, we start the year with 10, so that's what I have to work with for the ENTIRE year. Thanks again for your encouragement!

Mary--You have once again came through with your wise words...thanks! I know you are right that these symptoms that I am experiencing are from HMs and FM. I hope nothing else pops up during my appt tomorrow, and I also hope that there is something I can try to do to feel better. I have been running a fever again around 100.5-101 for about 24 hours now. I am at the end of my rope so to speak! I think the anxiety is rolling out of control since I have no control of these awful HM's. Last year when I could tell I was going to have an attack, I would let the teacher next door know (she was good about it) and I would head to the restroom as fast as I could get there. I made it most of the time. I was caught in my room once (with no students) with a co-worker who got to witness the entire lovely event. If I am throwing up, I run to the bathroom, throw up and come back to class. I put on a happy face and continue through the day. Let me tell you the happy face was rather green and not smiling from about December on. I had some left leg and arm problems for a few days and my students would ask about it and we would just continue through our day the best we could. I didn't say it was pretty!!

I hope that my appt sheds some light on my questions. But deep down I know that I have to come up with those answers, no one can do it for me. Taking leave just doesn't seem possible, but going to work seems totally impossible. Maybe the power of positive thinking???

Thanks again ladies you support is my life jacket when I seem to be drowning.

Lifeguard - what state are you in (if you don't mind me asking)?

First off, good luck with your appointment today. Let us know wht you find out. Second, I fully understand your fear of the school year starting. Just out of curiosity do you mind if I ask what grade you teach?

I am a preschool aide with 3-5 year old special needs students. School starts for us on the 13th this year, and I am terrified myself. I don't know that I can offer much help there. For me, it was motivation and the love I have for this job that got me through last year. All I have to rely on for this year, is the same thing.

I love the kids I work with, on some of my worst days, its priceless to have a child throw themselves into my arms and hug me so tight i just forget about the pain. It is this passion and their smiling faces that I know will get me through this year also. This may be very different for you depending on what age of kids you are working with. But I also hope that you can find motivation and strength in the children you work with and how you are changing their lives.

I full heartedly think that migraines alone are more than enough for us to handle. To add in other health issues just makes it so much harder. I hope that you can get some results iwth you appointment and start to get your health under control. You deserve to be able to wake up and successfully go through your day, you dont need all of this weighing you down and making lfe so much harder.

I wish that I could be of more help to you, but all I can really offer is my prayers. You have my prayers as you look for answer to better health and as you start out the new school year. This is such a hard road to travel but it has to lead to somewhere, right?

Let us know how you are doing! Love and prayers,
Alaura

Terri--

I live in Nebraska.

Thanks Aluara--I really appreciate you kind words. I teach 7-12 grade Resource (Special Education)

As far as my appt today. She wanted to run several lab tests. I also had to schedule an Echo of my heart. Doesn't sound good to me. Looking to see about inflammation and fluid. I have a lot of swelling in feet, hands, all over really. So time will tell I guess.

I am going to try and rest before time to make supper.

I second Dragon's advice--you have to care for yourself first. Otherwise, you're left with little to give. (That's one easier said than done, don't you think?)

I'm also the mom of four children and teach part-time. Therefore, I understand the evils of florescent lights and noise. It was actually comforting to me to know that I'm not the only one who has apprehension at the beginning of the school year!

When I feel overwhelmed with responsibilities, I make lists and organize: lists of things that need to be done and lists of things that I need. I find putting chaos in order on paper is helpful to me.

Your doctor's appointment is a great first step of taking care of yourself. Let us know how that goes. Maybe before you tackle school, create a "toolbox" of things to take to school to help you manage those tough days (ex. peppermint tea, aromatherapy, earplugs, ). Then you may feel more prepared to get ready for class.

I've just taken an Imitrex to help abort my migraine this morning before I'm expected at my daughter's kindergarten class. I'm watching 21 five-yr. olds + my three other children during lunch.

As my father says: "Do as I say, not as I do."

I hope today is a better day for you.
Liz

Lifeguard, isn't it a small world? I grew up in Omaha and graduated from UNL. My mom and family still live there so I go to Omaha at least once or twice a year.

May I suggest looking into your teacher's retirement disability information. I know it seems overwhelming but knowing the basics may be helpful. I met with one of my teacher's retirement representatives about 5 years before I actually went on disability. I wanted to know how much I would be getting, etc if I went on disability. It took me 5 years of "you know what" to finally take the plunge but I doubt I would have ever done it had I not known what the disability information is.

As far as this year, don't go back and get ready if you are not ready. The last couple years of teaching, I did nothing before school started, which was highly unusual for me. It was crazy once school did start but ya know . . . it's always crazy once the kids get there so it doesn't really matter. Take your time.

Let us know what the doctor finds out.

Teri

First off, sorry I'm late.

Lifeguard, I can't offer you any advice. I think Teri, Droolie, and Mary gave you the best.

I just want to throw in some hugs



My suggestion for DH (and this is my suggestion for all the unsupportive DH's I have come across on this board) is to print Teri's letter for people who "don't get it" and have him read it. Or better yet, let him read around this forum for 20 minutes or so to get an idea of how very real and very disabling this condition is for all of us. Or there is "spoon theory" at butyoudontlooksick.com. It explains how hard it is to have an invisible disability.

Or, you can point out the magazine Scientific American had an article in the August 2009 issue on Migraines, and that as a world renowned scientific publication they don't tend to devote seven page articles to "imaginary" diseases. (Sorry for the snark, but I get very angry with people who think because there is no litmus test for migraines they don't exist. I know it is karmatically incorrect, but I wish merciless migraines and cluster headaches on those people I can't help it, I'm mean)

Here are a few more hugs for the road



Please let us know how you are doing.
Kel

Again I can't say thanks enough to you gals......you're the best

I got a call from the Dr's office Wed afternoon that my CRP levels are high, this shows that I have inflammation---no kidding that's what I already told them. I figured because of the swelling, fever, and joint/muscle pain . But I know they have to run the test to get confirmation. Anyway they wanted more tests, so today they did blood work to test for Lyme Disease, West Nile, autoimmune diseases (they didn't say which ones) any ideas???? And rhuematoid (sp) problems, I assume RA, but there may be others--anyone know?

So I still don't know much and still don't feel good. As far as my head goes I had a mig last night. the weather here is HOT HOT HOT and very humid so I am sure that doesn't help things any.

I just wish they could figure this out, school is less than 2 weeks away. What am I going to do about work? I find it difficult to walk around my house. A school with long halls, steps not to mention the walking all over to get kids, or take kids ect. I feel like a need a cane or something I can't even think about it without crying. I am sitting here now in tears. I have to get a handle on this. I wish I had a crystal ball to see what is in store for me. Thanks again ladies for all of you support. I think it may be time for me to go to bed.

Hang in there. You will have answers soon. Just take one day at a time. That's all you can do. We're here for you.

Hi Lifeguard,


I know I''m coming in here late, but thought I might add a few words if I may.

May I asked you who diagnosed you with HM? Was it a Migraine specialist or a neurologist? Just curious. Did all your other symptoms start around the same time the HM did, if you think really hard about it, or are the new during the last three weeks?

Has anyone talked about Lupus. When you mentioned low grade fever, hair falling out, achy joints/muscle pain, headache and what not it made me think of it. Not that you need to think of any more, but if they are checking for autoimmune diseases, I'm sure lupus is in the mix.

Your DH (who doesn't sound so dear right now ) needs to buck up and give you a break. Just because we don't have a name for what you have doesn't mean you aren't feeling well. Sometimes these conditions are called invisible for a reason. You don't look sick, but sure feel sick. It alwasy gets me on my when people don't understand this. If someone has a broken leg, they get more sympathy than a Migraineur. Heck, I'd take a broken leg any day. At least that is over in 6 weeks! Migraine disease is never over.

Oh dear, I did go off didn't I? I hope you are feeling better, please let us know.

Lifeguard,
I really hope, in all those tests, they come back with some answers for you. As much as you probably don't want to have any of the things they've tested you for, at least if you have one of them you won't be wondering why you feel the way you do.

Best of luck, and please keep us informed. and

Meli