Migraine

Right now I feel like selling everything I own and moving to Europe- and I probably would if I didn't have a husband and family here! I'm really tired of the business I'm in- frankly I'm burnt out.

I've been in the retail industry for almost 10 years. My degree is in fine arts, but I worked many years as a graphic designer- I won't do that again as it's all changed to computers and I hate it now.

I really enjoyed retail because I love helping people and giving good customer service. Plus being in the fashion industry was art-related so it was fun.

After many years of it though, I'm tired of being treated so poorly by the general public. Most of the time my friendly greeting of "how are you?" is cut off by a curt "Just looking"- or many times they walk in and don't even look at me- and by the way just because I work here does not mean I'm a lower life form, don't have money- or you can yell at me, flirt with me, abuse me(all of which have happened).

One person even told me he thought all sales people were stupid- there are stories like this too numerous too count. Oh, and by the way, just because you carry a designer bag I'm supposed to be impressed-in the city I live in it's all-important(don't get me wrong-there's nothing wrong with having a designer bag- it's the attitude I'm talking about). Believe me, I've had wonderful customers, I'm just venting right now.

The company I work for now(I made a job change in Dec.) is luxury retail, so it's less stressful, there's less people to deal with- it's definitely a better situation. I just needed to get all this out- there's a lot of hurt here, and I'm tired- and too old to take this much longer.

Valerie

Yes come to Europe, it's wonderful here!

No, on a serious note, I am glad you are able to vent about this, hope you got some frustration out here It is a frustrating situation, I bet other things are getting at you too and the job nicely tops it off

if it's any comfort, in Europe people tend to be even less nice (especially outside of England). Here your "how are you" would be met by a "why are you talking to strangers crazy woman" looks. But that doesn't solve your problem really. Maybe my point is "the grass isn't always greener". Yes. Let's pretend that it is.

Let us know how you get on! I hope you do something, get a rest, have a good whine to your friends.. And here's a good hug

Hi Valerie - You are so right, you don't need to take people's garbage! Not sure what that looks like, moment by moment, but keep on reminding yourself you are important - special - intelligent - and worthy - and you don't have to take it! to you and I hope you find something better for you. Sometimes we have to get really fed up with something before we're ready to make a change. I hope this is a turning point for you.

- Megs

Burnout is no fun, particularly as the general public becomes snarlier to work with all the time. I'm sorry you're so worn out.

Hi, Kirsti! Welcome to the forum family!

to you, Valerie. I worked retail just long enough in college to know that I could never do it as a career. I always try to go out of my way to be nice to retail employees for that reason - and you're right that customers can just be so rude for no reason. I'm so sorry that you have to put up with this AND the beast. One or the other is bad enough!

Just remember that we are all always here for you, even when the general public has a poopy attitude. We still love you!

I was a bank teller for a couple of years after college, and again part-time during graduate school. I loved it, but I absolutely understand what you are saying about rude and abusive customers. And of course, the wonderful customers as well. Part of the take-away learnings for me from that job was learning to separate myself from other people's anger or other reactions to me. In fact, I think I "gloated" a little bit when I found I was able to maintain a calm, dignified stance even when the customer was abusive--I felt like I was proving my superiority in a way. And a lot of people think bank tellers are not very intelligent and just count money. I can assure you that is absolutely not the case.

Please never, never go into the bank, throw a check across the counter, and say, "Cash that!"

On the flip side, as a customer, I would certainly never be abusive to a bank teller or retail employee, and I work extra hard at being polite to restaurant servers, partly because we had a problem with people being rude to our servers--other students--when I was in college. However, by my temperament, it simply doesn't come naturally to engage in conversation with someone I don't know, and don't really expect to see on any regular basis. So do realize that some people are certainly not intending to be rude; they are simply reserved, or perhaps preoccupied by concerns you have no way of knowing about.

In many areas of daily life, you can set boundaries and refuse to accept abusive treatment. It's harder to do that when you work with the public, but generally some sort of boundaries are still appropriate. I know that at our bank, the policy was to call a supervisor to the window when the customer started yelling, and call a bank officer to the window when the customer started cussing. I know an officer once had a customer's account closed out because the customer was abusive to an employee. In this day and age, there can be personal-safety concerns if a customer's behavior gets too out of bounds. So you might want to talk to your supervisor about what kinds of limits you can appropriately set.

What the general public doesn't realize is:
-When I greet you it's not necessarily because I want to it's because IT'S MY JOB- I have to.
-I've heard more unnecessary information from customers than I've cared to listen to(in fact I decided to get a Master's in counseling because of it)
-I'm a human being just like you not a sub human- if you've had a bad day- get over it and don't dump it on me.

I've put up boundaries with people, but they choose not to listen. Right now I work in an environment where I work the last 3 1/2 hours alone, so there is no supervisor to call- however I can call mall security if there is a problem.

Valerie