Migraine

Good Morning,

Well as you all know my DD is already in college and my DS will be going off in August. While I knew it would be difficult having them both gone I had big "moment" over the weekend.

DF called me about a weekend trip with an employee group with his company. He gave me the dates and as usual I started to open my calendar to see what the kids' schedule would be. Well you know what? Their schedule didn't matter one bit, they will both be at school. No more every other weekend thing. No more coordinating with their dad when he is out of town. I can just go.

It was the strangest feeling. It was not liberating. I did not feel a sense of freedom. I made me very nostolgic for my little ones who are leaving the nest. Truly a new chapter has started.

I certainly don't want things to be different. This is what the kids have been raised to do. And this is what I want them to do. But I still will miss them both.

I know many of you out there will understand. Thanks for listening.

Cindy

Boy can I relate! Not that my nest will be empty, since I have one who is just starting HS in the fall, but as the first leaves I am really getting a strange feeling, anticipating the Fall when she will be gone! It's coming very soon.

So glad we have each other here to share this with!

- Megs

Add me to the mix. My oldest DS is graduating this year and plans on going into the military, so I have no idea how far away he'll be stationed. He wants Europe, and I encourage it, but it breaks my heart to know that this was the "last" Mother's Day, "last" Christmas, etc. that he'll be in the house. I'm definately not ready for him to leave. My brain tells me this is what I raised him to become-independent, but my heart cries out that I want him to stay and live close by!

So, which is harder Cindy? When the first one leaves or when the last one leaves? I still have two more to go after DS#1...

It's so different with my kids. I think Piper was suppose to be really hard, but after she spent 2 summers in Latin America going to college in LA was a piece of cake.

I still miss her. Being home for Christmas vacation though reminded me of the "issues" we sometimes have and I was happy to have her go back to school. They develope (as they should) a certain independence that is not always easy to integrate into home life.

My son has never gone away and not been accessable like Piper did. I still had him at home so the nest wasnt' empty. It will be harder having him gone for me because of that. He is also a very easy going kid and works with me better than Piper does. He is not demanding for the most part.

I think as to which is more difficult it very much depends on the circumstances. I was thinking yesterday that I won't be with either of my kids with me. Maybe I'll go spend it with one of them!!!

Good Luck to us all my friends.

Cindy

Cindy,

I can so relate. My son is going off to college this August, too. He is my one and only. There will be no football games to go to on Friday nights or band booster things to plan. My plans will be my own.

I had a major melt down back in September at my therapist's office at this realization. September! I totally scared at what's going to happen in August when he is actually gone.

Hang in there. This is what we've raised them to do.

Friends of mine with an only child left on a vacation when they took their daughter to school. I think they left for a couple of weeks. Gave them something to look forward to. It's not a bad idea.

Cindy

Well, Cindy,

If everything works out, I'll be in the same boat come August. Granted, Sallie will only be about 7 miles away, but she'll still be in a dorm. It'll be just Matt & me (& the critters, of course) here on the creek.

I'm actually looking forward to a relatively empty nest! I'll be able to clean the kitchen & have it stay clean for more than a day. Ditto the rest of the house. I probably won't have to stock as much vegetarian food (& soy & rice "milks"), either.

But, I've never had the chance to live by myself. I went from my parents' home to dorm rooms, back to my parents' home to married life. I've always shared a room with somebody. When Sal moves out, I may just move into one of the other bedrooms?!

Speaking of bedrooms, it's time I headed to mine! Sal has to be at school by 6:30 tomorrow morning, which means I have to be up by 5. UGH!!!

,

Rebecca, The Island Mama

I'm an only child, and I decided to go to school over 500 miles from my parents. They drove me down to college, having picked me up from where I was working for the summer (again, away from home). So, they saw me once between June and August, and that was to move all of my stuff- that I had with me, and what I had set aside at home for them to bring when they picked me up to drive down to NC.

On the way down, my dad got a speeding ticket in a speed trap. When we had to physically lift all of my belongings in record heat for NC in August (over 98 degrees!), we realized that I had no a/c in my dorm room. No fan either. By the time they got me settled, I think we were all ready to part...

It was really weird to think about the fact that my parents were going to have an empty nest once they left to drive back to NY. However, it didn't happen that way. The dog became "the other child." When my childhood pet passed away a couple of years ago, my mom finally- 5 years after I graduated from college- went through the empty nest syndrome.

She's now having a blast going to museums, theatre, and spending time reading... it took a while, but she's happy, and redecorating her "nest" right now.

So- that's my family's story. The drive and physical separation from each other were the worst parts- mostly 'cause it was a comedy of errors.

Hi,

We work so hard to raise our children to be independent, strong, happy members of society. But in reality when it is time for them to leave it just plains bites!