Migraine

Hey guys
Had a strange experience 2 days ago.
I was looking at my wedding photo album and all of a sudden I started crying. I realized I was mourning the bim in that photo, the one who didnt need to deal with prodromes and auras and hemiplegic migraines. The one who could just go on vacation for a few days without having to worry that it would be ruined by pain! Has anyone else mourned the loss of their pain free life?
bim

I got home from the hospital yesterday morning and was just a torrent of tears the entire morning. I'm terrified that the 3-day inpatient treatment won't work and that the fancy new meds won't work and then what?? I keep asking my husband that. Will I have to quit my job? School? Stay home? What? I cried all of yesterday, and I fought not to cry all of today. And now I'm crying again .

I guess this is getting harder because I'm coming up quickly on the one year anniversary of when they went daily, which is hard. It's really difficult to believe that it's been almost a year. It doesn't help that tomorrow is my birthday either and that I'll be spending it worrying more about my migraines than I will be about enjoying the day. Hard realizations.

awww *hugs*
It will be a year for me... almost to the day, 2 weeks from now that they turned chronic with aura. Its nice to know that people understand isnt it? I know what you mean about birthdays. Last october was my first birthday since starting migraines with aura. I lived in fear that Id be sick that day!


love to you
and thank you!

It is really nice to know other people understand. I saw your thread, and it was like someone read my mind today. It was amazing and made me feel so much better just knowing that I'm not alone.

Wow! Only 14 more days until you see Dr Young! That's really exciting . Best of luck!

Bim and Migraneur

Please hang in there. I don't have your migraine problems, but my son does. It's been almost a year for him too (Nov 2006). I know how helpless you can feel. I often feel that way too.

Try to remain positive. There are more treatments available. Something will work for you. You just haven't found it YET.

Bim you will be seeing Dr. Young soon. I know he will be a great help to you. Try to focus on that.

Happy Birthday Migraneur!! I hope it will be pain free.


I'm sending hugs to both of you.


Jean Ann

We all have our moments when we realize how much has changed. But you know, you're still you beyond the migraines and the pain. They do not define you.

Rather than dwelling on what we've "lost", it's a heck of a lot snazzier to think about what we've "temporarily misplaced". Instead of giving that picture the power of making you sad, you just need to turn it around and make it your "goal" instead. Tack a copy of it on the fridge or wherever you'll see it and let it inspire you. It's a snapshot of what you're going to build back up to, one brick at a time, no matter how long it takes.

It's all in the perspective.

Happy Birthday, Migraineur! I hope it is a splendid day, pain-free and full of all the very best things.

thanks droolie and jean ann,
It was just sort of a shock to my system... to remember how it used to be. thanks for the advice droolie
I shall try to do that
:-)

love to you both
bim

I'm crying again, but this time because I'm happy . Thanks for the early b-day wishes!

Droolie's right, guys!! The positive spin always helps!!

But I don't like to think of searching for my "old self"...I'm different now that I've had this migraine experience! I know I'm more patient with others, particularly those in pain. I'm more confident and speak up for myself more. I've learned to appreciate the little things on pain-free days: watching my sons laugh as they ride their bikes, holding my husband's hand while we ride along in the car, taking my family to the park for a picnic...

I'm a better person now! No mourning here!!!

Migraneur: I'm sending you my warmest birthday hugs and wishes!! No birthday tears, only smiles!!!

jenny

I want to wish yo happy Birthday too (((Migraneur))).

I don't believe the migs have changed me. I've had them my whole life. My wife and I are certainly thankful that I have survived the treatment and able to return to work. The experience has certaily made me realize how I treat and care about people and my standards and expectations are too high for this 21st century society.

Take care, Bob

Bim and Migranuer,

I totally understand mourning for your former self. Mine went daily almost 9 years ago with still no relief. I think back to times when they weren't daily and think about the way things are now. There are times I cry for what I have lost. I think Droolie made some good points about keeping a postive outlook and not dwelling on what you have lost.

However I know that have I am still going through the grieving process. I'm grieving for what I've lost and how things have changed. But I realize that in doing this it has made the acceptance of living with this disease a little easier.

When I say acceptance, I don't mean giving up and just living with it. I'm still searching for something, anything that can take away even a little bit of the daily pain. Acceptance to me is more about realizing this is my life now, things are not going to be as I once planned and knowing that is okay. Life can never return to the way it was before this. I've been changed in too many ways. However we can still work on building a new dream.

Coming up on your first anniversary can be scary. Mine was. but I am a survivor of 7 more anniversaries (some better than others). Right now 9 years doesn't bother me. The thought of 10 years does. That is the reason why I'm fighting so hard so that I don't reach that 10 year mark of "dailies".

Keep fighting and you will find a way through.

Shortone

12 years for me. 2 neurologists. Am back into a cycle of bad ones. Need to call my neuro tomorrow. This crazy weather ("pop-up thunderstorms") and personal pressures are triggering this cycle.

My former self was a backpacker (Master Trainer, Leave No Trace Camping), Horsewoman, Girl Scout Leader and Trainer, and could put in 60-hr work weeks without a problem.

Of course, I'm also older now, and have other medical challenges as well. And, at least I know it's not my sinuses! If I had all the money I spent on sinus meds over the years...!

I guess we are going through the stages of grief?

Rebecca

quote:

I guess we are going through the stages of grief?

Rebecca

Agreed. In some ways it feels like cycles of grief. It's been 12 years for me, too. Until about 5 years ago, migraines were an "inconvenience" . . . I couldn't admit to myself that I had a chronic illness. As I've learned to accept the truth of my condition, I've gone through periods of grieving the loss of some of my dreams, the loss of control, the loss of energy. But, I've also seen the positives: endurance I didn't know I possessed, better stress management, learning to respect and care for my own needs. I find that being able to grieve without becoming obsessive can be helpful at times. It's okay to acknowledge pain and change . . . and then to grasp the positives and move forward again.