Migraine

I really need to vent now. I've been resisting posting in this folder for weeks, but today it just has to happen.

After a couple of months of some success on Depakote, I'm now back to headaches almost every day. After waiting 3 weeks to see my (former) neurologist, I'm stopping depakote and trying verapamil. Of course, during this transition I'm feeling worse than ever.

A bit over a year ago, I had never experienced a migraine. Now, i think of the four seasons of this year not as fall, winter, spring and summer, but as inderal, neurontin, topamax, and depakote. Triptans are now "working" for me only for a few hours, and then the pain usually comes back. I know the line--there are over 100 possible preventive options, so keep trying. This just makes me imagine that this process will take 25 years to work through!

I've recently ditched my gp, and will see someone new next week. She will then have to refer me to a new neurologist, and I hate to imagine how long that might take. I do feel good about making this decision to switch, though in my current state I second guess even that.

My colleagues at work must wonder why I have become such a witch, and right now I'm happy to just let them wonder. I'm trying hard not to be grumpy around my kids, but I know I'm not that successful all the time. I'm sure my spouse is often recalling that old "for better, for WORSE" line he uttered all those years ago.

Could I just have my old life back, maybe just 2 or 3 days a week? It was a great life--busy, fulfilling, and i tried hard not to take it for granted.

Aargggh. End of rant, for now. If you've read this, thanks. I am grateful for this forum.

Hi Annie,

I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time. It is always difficult to be patient when you make a med switch and wait weeks for it to help or be a bust. I'm going on 2.5 years of that myself, now. Inderal and Toprol both gave me brief success, but then failed so I'm at step 1 again.

Hey, if you have to be grumpy, you have to be grumpy. I hope that you are telling your family why, though! Even if your coworkers are OK to wonder, your DH and children do need to know that you're not feeling yourself. I often think of it in terms of a wounded animal; they're going to snap and bite when they are in pain and sure enough, we do the same thing. It's unavoidable sometimes.

Drug swaps are always so hard, too. Coming down and going back up again, it's no wonder we feel badly. When the only thing consistent is the pain factor, I don't think it's too much to ask for some mood consistency, too.

Take care...I hope you are feeling better. Post here whenever you need to, this is what it's for!

We're here for you, annie. No need to resist posting in this folder, that's what it is for. Please hang in there and don't give up. You are making some positive changes, and unfortunately, that takes time.

Would your husband like to use the Significant Others Only folder? If so, have him email Teri at the address in her forum signature for access to it. We hosts are not allowed in that folder, only SO's, Teri, and Nancy.

Take care.

Annie, I am so sorry you're going through this. I bet most of us here understand how you're feeling because most of us have been there. I wish there was something I could do for you but I know I can't. All I can do is offer a shoulder to lean on. Please feel free to complain away!

The transition is so hard. People don't understand how awful we feel while we're trying to find another med that works. Plus when you DO find something that works, you wonder "how long will this last?"

I wish I could give you your old life back. I wish we all could have our old life back. But that doesn't help us with our reality. We have to accept our new life. That life is one that has pain as a component. I hope you're able to get into a new neurologist ASAP. Until then, we're here for you when you feel like you're going to explode.

Annie,
Thank you for posting and getting this off your chest. It is difficult enough to deal with the battle against Migs on your own so having folks that "get it" is extremely important! Somehow it seems like when you share your anger/frustration it almost is like looking the beast in the face and telling it you aren't going to keep it's nasty little secrete any longer!

I had had terrible headaches most of my life but never realized what was going on. People at work would call in and say I can't be there and I would scoff to myself thinking "it's just a headache come on" - yes I used to be one of those people . About 8 years ago the horrible pain became blinding (quite literally - the visual disturbances were terrible).

My GP didn't know what to do when I finally went to see him after two solid weeks of disabling pain. We tried zomig without avail and he finally gave me a script for stadol and a three month wait to get into the neurologist. No one said anything about going to the er or the emanate dangers of status Migraine.

I won't lie, it did take a while to break the cycle but it did break! Finding support and a place to vent where you will never be judged is one of the best things you can do for your self .

Best of luck with the new GP and getting to just the right neuro that will help you kick this in the bottom and get those "normal" days back in your life.

/hugs and soothing thoughts,
Julie

Thanks for all the kind words. I have survived (almost!) another workweek, and will see a new doctor next week. Kids are looking forward to Halloween tonight and right now so am I. Hopefully next week will be a good one--new month, new President, new doctor. Maybe all of those will be an improvement over the present.

Glad you got through the week, Annie, and best luck with seeing a new doctor next week! Hope you and your kids enjoy Halloween