Migraine

My sons psychiatrist filed medical neglect because we missed 2 appointments due to my sons migraines.

I was taking my son there for depression caused by dealing with the chronic migraine headaches.

She says he has unspecified mood disorder and social anxiety also and thats why he missed so much school and should be put in boys home.
I do not feel he has either one. He is a very good boy who suffers from severe migraines.

My son has migraines 4 or 5 days a week and are totaly disabling for him.

She thinks his migraines only played a small roll in his missing school.

She is one of those that thinks migraines are just a headache and therefore not disabling.

I believe she filed medical neglect because she knows I won't put him in a home for troubled teens.

She told me they would cure him of migraines!
The social worker I talked to said they wanted take him for at least 1 year minimum.

She told me she knows I'm a good mom and go above and beyond for my kids but she believes the psychiatrist.

I KNOW MY SON!

I can't stop crying and I don't know how to stop this.

I'm a single mom without many resources and I feel like I have no rights. I don't know what to do.

In most states, to remove your son from your home for any length of time would require court action. You do have rights there; in fact, in most places, courts take the rights of parents VERY seriously.

Contact the doctor who treats your son for migraines and ask him/her to document the efforts being made to treat the migraines, and the impact of them on your son. He/she should also state clearly the fact that there is NO cure for migraine disease.

Your son's doctor's office may also be able to recommend the source of an attorney. There may be a legal aide group that doesn't charge, or an attorney who works pro bono or for reduced fees. If he sees a pediatrician, my guess is they have dealt with this kind of thing before.

Share Teri's letter from this article with the child protective service worker:

Migraine and Headache Education for Those Who "Don't Get It"

Understand that the child protective worker also reports to someone, and if she doesn't follow her supervisor's instructions, and anything happens to a child, her butt is on the line. So you may want to specifically ask her to share the doctor's documentation, and Teri's letter, with her supervisor.

In most states, the child protective system is over-burdened, and they are really not interested in taking custody of children unnecessarily. So take heart. You do have rights, and you can work through this. You need to call the doctor who treats your son's migraines.

If your son's migraines are that frequent, he does need some specialized help. I hope you will come to the forum often for information and support. You will find very supportive people here. Take a look through the Children and Migraines folder.

Welcome to the forum!

I know that you're probably overwhelmed right now- but I thought I'd give you something to file away in your toolbox for when you could better use it. We maintain a list of patient-recommended headache specialists across the country. Perhaps one of these doctors would be appropriate for your son's care
Patient Recommended Specialists

Oh, and welcome to mymigraineconnection. Sorry you have to be here, but I promise we'll try our best to help you better be able to deal with issues related to your son's migraines!

First I want to welcome you too. You are in a very difficult situation and I hope we can lend you support and information to help you.

Has your son's school been supportive of you through his migraines? If they have they might also be a resource for you through this. You don't mention the age of your son, but depending on the grade/school he is in, you may have been working with counselors that have been understanding of the situation you may want to utilize.

Cindy

I don't have any better advice than what you've already gotten, but I wanted to welcome you. I'm so sorry what you're going through with your son. It's awful to deal with people who are so ignorant about migraine disease.

We're here for you. Post any time you like.

Welcome!

Gret
Gretchen in Mississippi

Welcome, devonsmom. First things first, take a deep breath. I know this must be incredibly overwhelming for you, but you've come to the right place and we will do the best we can to help you out.

I recommend you contact the attorney who maintains this site. http://www.advocacyforpatients.org/ She's helped a number of the folks on this site for reduced cost or for free, and she may be able to help you out in this case.

You may also want to contact Diana Lee of http://www.somebodyhealme.net, a retired lawyer who suffers from migraines.

Between the two of them, you should be able to get some help advocating for your son's needs.

REST ASSURED that you are doing the right thing. Migraines have no cure, and putting your son in a home for a year will NOT cure them.

Hang in there, honey. We are here for you.

Hi devonmom,

I too, don't have any better advice than what others have given you, but I wanted you to know we are here for you You have found a great place for support and information for you and your son. Hang in there and welcome to the forum family!!

Dar

Thank you all for the sugestions and support.

My son and I are to meet with the psychiatrist and social worker on thursday.
I was told by the social worker if Devon did not miss appointments and perhaps got a part time summer job that would look more favorable because it takes some time before they can follow through with this medical neglect thing.

I'm not sure he can hold a job because of his migraines.

He is 15 years old. They are pressuring me to voluntarily give him up the mean time.
I'm worried if I don't do what they say it may turn out worse.

The psychiatrist feels since he spends so much time at home this will effect him for life. Her words were he would be one of those people who is 400 pounds and lives at home when he is 30.

She has contacted his pediatric migraine specialist about this but I'm not sure what she told her and I have not talked to the migraine dr about this yet.
The thing is we did miss appointments with migraine dr also because of his refusal to go during his migraines.
You know I must have taken this kid to 50 apointments with various drs this year. Most of them quite a drive away. I work full time shift work and have crohns disease and don't feel well myself most of the time. My son and I have a great relationship.
So why do I feel do they make me feel so bad?

Hi devonsmom,

This must be so overwhelming for you. I am truly sorry. Take a deep breath and think about this for a minute. My gut tells me DO NOT LET THEM PRESSURE YOU IN GIVING HIM UP!!! If your gut tells you the same, listen to your gut, you are a loving mom that has a son who has a disease. It is time to be strong for him. Putting him somewhere else is not going to help his migraines.

I understand that it is hard being a single mom, I was one of twins!!I am married now but I understand having a teenager (mine twins are 19 now) without migraines is hard enough!!

Now it is time for you to get "all your duck in a row". Get a hold of MJ links now. Also, print out Terri's letter that Nutcracker gave you. Educate yourself, you can do this.

If your son does not go to a migraine specialist that has decreased his migraines or you do not trust him/her or is helping your son to get better, find one on the list that Jamie gave you. Make your son go(I know how hard that can be with a teenager, but this is important). Sometimes, if you go to a specialist with a migraine they can see it and give you the right diagnosis and treatment plan. That is what happen to me. Do this for you and your son.

I know this is so overwhelming, but please remember we are here for you. I am sure others who know more then I will be along shortly to give better advice.

Hang in there I am rooting for you!!

Dar

Hi Devonsmom,

I'm also a mother of 12 and 14 year old. My son doesn't have a diagnosis of migranes but he does have chronic medical issues and a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome. Three years ago he was severely depressed. He wasn't mentally capable of doing but very little homework, and lost ground in school. It wasn't until we had him taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs for about four monthes that we saw a significant improvement. My son has tried to go off the meds only to have his depression return.

My son was 11 years old and we didn't have a battle over whether or not he would take medicine. I don't have any advice on your situation, but I do encourage you to share more with us. It can be very helpful just to write down all of the emotions you are dealing with. There are listening minds and hearts with love to give here on this board.



Mary in NM

Devonsmom,

I don't have anything more to add. Please keep posting here as Dar has suggested. We are here for you. An outlet for your feeings and someplace for support for you is important now. I have a 16 year old son and they can be tough. I'm lucky that my ex and I have a good relationship and I've got help handling him when necessary. Otherwise I'd be sunk.

MJ's link for the advocate is a great idea as is Teri's letter. You can do this. You are a good mother. Don't let these people do with you know is wrong for your son.

Cindy

Hi Devons Mom

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you have been dealing with. It's horrible. First, your son is ill and now you have to deal with all this other stuff.

I'm also a single mother. My 14 year old son suffers from chronic migraines. I understand what you are dealing with as far as the illness goes. I've been having some issues with my son's school this year. It can be very stressful and overwhelming.

Contact the lawyer that MJ told you about. I have contacted her for advice several times. I bet she can help you.

Hang in there. Please come to the forum often. You can get a lot of good information on migraines, but more importantly there is a LOT of great support here to help you through all of this.

Jean Ann

My son had an appointment with his migraine dr yesterday.

She said since my son has not gotten better with any of the migraine medications since she has been treating him in the past 2 years she says she agrees with the pscyhiatrist that his migraines must be caused by as she put it something underneath?

Huh?

She feels the psychiatrist is a professional who knows what shes talking about.

Aparently this psychiatrist with all infinite wisdom and education who has known my son for 5-30 minute sessions has passed judgement and everyone believes her.

I don't get it my son comes from a good home. I think he is a sweet kid although he is very sensitive and doesn't express himself well sometimes.

He is VERY sick from migraines most days.
This has made him psycologicaly ill, the lonelyness, isolation, the feeling that no one understands to be blamed at times for his own illness.

I have contacted a lawyer who says I should get a second opinion from another psychiatrist.
My sons psychiatrist works for the county.

I will be getting laid off from my job of 27 years next week as it is moving to mexico so money will be tight.
The lawyer wants $250 per hour.

Devonsmom I as so sorry all of this is happening at one time to you. To lose your job like that is horrid. You've done nothing wrong and your job is gone. You must be a very skilled and excellent staff member for the company to have kept you. I hope that works to your advantage finding a new job.

Regarding your son. Certainly with all he has been thru with migraine I could see the benefit of a therapist or psychiatrist. But to "blame" a neurlogical disease on secondary problems of the neurlogical disease is wrong. The doctor your son see's is a migraine specialist? This is just so strange to hear.

Will your insurance while it is still in effect, and it should be at least until the end of the month, pay for a second opinion of both a psychiatrist and a neurlogist? ND is a large and very isolate state in some places (my father was born there) and I know travel can be difficult. It seems like some second opinions are very much needed here.

As you have probably seen there are over 100 prevenatives for migraines. I'm sure some of them are not appropriate for a child, but many still are. I find it hard to believe the doctor has used them all or in the various combinations.

Please keep talking to us. There are as you know parents of children with migraines who know far more than I to help guide you through this.

Take care,

Cindy

Hi devonsmom,

I've been reading your posts and cannot stress enough what the others have said.

Your situation is horrible. You and your son are both chronically ill and are not getting support you both need. Clearly, second opinions on all counts are needed - Migraine and mental health. This county shrink is not the be all end all of shrinks....

The advocacy link is really, really worthwhile. The folks are very helpful there and can point you in all the right directions: Patient advocacy site

Please keep us posted. We're here for you.