Migraine

My Grandmother is 90 and hasn't been doing well for a few weeks. Last night my Mom called to say the family had been called in. They've had hospice with her for a week now. Her kidneys have shut down so it's just a matter of short time now.

Unfortunately, they live 10 hrs. away and with my doc gone, there is no way I can close the office and be with my Dad or pay my respects to my Grandmother. I doubt anyone will understand why I can't just close it and be there and I'll be on the receiving end of some less than understanding comments.

The fact is, I'm the only employee that doc/boss trusts to make sure our patients are routed where they need to be. He doesn't have anyone covering for him and if I leave, there will be no one to even answer the phone. Everything will roll to his cell phone during the day(I don't even know if it works in Jamaica), and he's there for his sons wedding. I have his protocol for basic script refills as well as his protocol for where to send our patients and what needs to be done to get them there. We have several patients that were sick last week and he left specific instruction with them to call if they were no better. He left the script for me to call in for them IF they call. My other front office staff CAN'T multitask and we've had problems with her messing up TONS of things that are basic. Our nurse is new and can't make appointments on the computer yet and doesn't know his protocols, so she would do no good either. I simply have no choice. Unfortunately, that's a choice my family won't understand. It's a matter of responsibility, and while my family comes first, with doc gone, I have the burdon of responsibility for the patients.

This promises to be a tough week for our whole family. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Lynn

Little Bit--

Done!! You're on my and my mother's prayer list! It's so hard, because no matter what, sometimes work has to come over family, even the dying. That happened to me too. Luckily, I was able to send my husband who had just retired, to share the hospital death watch, which lasted almost a month, but I simply could not take off work when my most beloved grandmother was dying.

It was one of the hardest times in my life. I'm an only grandchild and was so close to my grandmother!!! I didn't get to be there when she died; my husband was even home by then, but her death was peaceful.

Don't listen to anyone who tries to lay any blame. There's NONE to lay. Death is a part of Life. There are people with your grandmother now, and that's the important part. Being able to be there to say goodbye isn't what it's all about. You can say goodbye in your heart without being physically present, it's just harder.

All my love

Tracie

Lynn -
Sending good thoughts and prayers out to you and your family. I couldn't get to my grandmother's hospice or funeral either, and there are other ways to say goodbye, as Tracie said. Danny and I once had to choose between the funeral of a (close) aunt on his side and the wedding of a (very close) cousin on my side - all his relatives said "your allegiance should be to the living, and that's what Aunt Mary would say too." I'd say taking care of the patients, which you are doing, is giving your allegiance to the living! It sounds like you're making the right choice, whether or not others understand.
- Megs

Lynn,

Sending you lots of and prayers.

jenny

Prayers going up, Lynn!

Praying for you.
Sounds like this week you need to be there to be the angel for some other people. Hopefully those patients that you are there for will value even if your doctor doesn't. I know what's like to lose a dear grandmother and not be near to say goodbye.

Take care of you so you can avoid the dreaded beast and don't hesitate to post to let us know how things are going.

Mary in NM

Lynn,

This odd little voice is telling me to tell you it's OK to take care of your patients first. Grandmama will be OK with that.. She knows where you are and what you are doing. Grandmama understands. Grandmama loves you, no matter what.



Rebecca

Lynn,

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers right now. There are many ways to show your respects to your grandmother. I know both of mine were very hard working women who took there their responsibilties very seriously and she would probably be very proud of your for reconizing yours as hard has this is and as much as you'd like to be with your family.

Your father is going to need you and your support more than just now. You will be able to help him and be there for him.

Take care Lynn, my thoughts and prayers are with you,

Cindy

You and your family are in my thoughts.

Update-
Not much has changed with my Grandmother. She's been in a coma since Sun. and has been on oxygen since Monday. She hasn't eaten on 36 hrs and has only had maybe a teaspoon of liquid in 48 hrs. Her kidneys have shut down and they have her on a morphene drip to keep her comfortable. My Dad and his brothers and sister are taking turns staying with her. It's just a matter of time.

I did finally get to talk to Dad last night and through a lot of tears told him that there is no way I can come home right now. I told him what was up with the office and as much as my heart wanted to be there with him, I had our patients to look out for too. He understood and said that's life-you have to make choices-even ones you really don't want to make and we don't always get to do what we want to, but we have to do what's the right choice. He just kept saying that he understood.

At this point, we don't know if my brother can go either. He works for the Corp.Engineers and was dispatched to New Orleans yesterday to monitor the pressure on the levees around the city. We don't know when he'll be back. Things are just tough all the way around right now, but at least I finally talked to Dad and he understands and knows that in my heart, I want to be there with him.

Please keep us in your prayers that my brother will get home safely and things with my Grandmother will go as best as they can.
Lynn

I'm so sorry, Lynn. It's difficult enough without having to make such heart-wrenching decisions. Prayers and hugs are going up and out.