Migraine

I think this is where I should post as what I need is to pray for acceptance. My migraine just came back for the 3rd day in a row, which happens sometimes for me. I went to far the other way and stopped the self-care steps I follow to get over a migraine and make sure it doesn't come back. Or rather to reduce the chances it will come back. So I have canceled all activities for next 36 hours, I've turned the lights down low and closed the windows to make it less noisy, and all I'm going to do is rest and catch up on my reading, no physical activity at all and no TV. Computer is okay as long as I wear my lightly tinted glasses.

I can't control it but I can influence it.

So I pray for acceptance and not to get upset or to give in to magical thinking or "unreasonable optimism." Life on life's terms, migraines on migraines's terms.

Laura
(day 3 mig)

Prayers to you for both your healing, as well as accepting life as it is here & now... sometimes we have to do that, as this present moment is really all we have.
Sometimes I think when you give up trying to control & relax a bit, you lighten up all over & everything just seems easier even if it doesn't change.
Sending you lots of healing & blessings.

Hello, sweet Laura,

I know what you mean, and what I wish for you is for you to learn to pamper yourself a bit. I think we all lose sight of that because when we feel well, we try to compensate for the times we don't.

There's a thought I'd like to offer you. You said, "migraines on migraines' terms." Yes, I can understand why you said that, but if I may offer you a different perspective it would be to strive for "Migraines on MY terms" through continuing to work with your doctor toward a better and better and better treatment regimen. My ticker in my sig only shows a couple of days since my last Migraine, but before I reset it, it was just a few days shy of two MONTHS. So, please accept only what must be accepted, not less than is possible. OK?

with hugs and prayers,

quote:

Originally posted by LauraSue:
I think this is where I should post as what I need is to pray for acceptance. My migraine just came back for the 3rd day in a row, which happens sometimes for me. I went to far the other way and stopped the self-care steps I follow to get over a migraine and make sure it doesn't come back. Or rather to reduce the chances it will come back. So I have canceled all activities for next 36 hours, I've turned the lights down low and closed the windows to make it less noisy, and all I'm going to do is rest and catch up on my reading, no physical activity at all and no TV. Computer is okay as long as I wear my lightly tinted glasses.

I can't control it but I can influence it.

So I pray for acceptance and not to get upset or to give in to magical thinking or "unreasonable optimism." Life on life's terms, migraines on migraines's terms.

Laura
(day 3 mig)

quote:

You said, "migraines on migraines' terms." Yes, I can understand why you said that, but if I may offer you a different perspective it would be to strive for "Migraines on MY terms" through continuing to work with your doctor toward a better and better and better treatment regimen.

Teri,

Thanks so much for your kind words. In the past four years of dealing with fibromyalgia so bad I can't work, I have learned to pamper myself completely -- bunny slippers included! It took a while to learn to give myself permission to be sick or to rest or to do something nice, but I'm very good at it now. So thanks for the reminder as always.

I understand what you're saying about working with my doctor and not letting the migraines win. I am doing that. Dr. Mark Green is terrific and has had me try all sorts of things. At the moment we're trying another preventive which I've been taking for almost 4 months, but it's not really clear if it's helping. Since mine are menopausal, I may just have to outwait them.

What got me in trouble psychologically was getting my hopes up after a run of 10 days without a migraine, double my usual frequency. But then I got a really bad migraine attack that we had to use Medrol to abort finally.

I was SO disappointed and SO frustrated, and I just don't want to be unrealistic again. George Will, the political commentator, once said that he's a pessimist because then when he's right, he expected it and when he's wrong he's pleasantly surprised.

So I want to keep myself focused on the fact that my migraines are completely unpredictable, due to the unpredictable hormone swings underneath, and not give into the magical thinking that if I just do everything right and be a really good girl I won't get another one. Because when I get "unrealistically optimistic" like that (to quote Melanie's doctor), I feel like I'm being punished when I get one.

I promise you I'm not giving up or being defeatist. I totally intend to keep working with Dr. Green, seeing him every 3 months, keeping my migraine diary every day, taking my pills meticulously. But I'm going to expect a migraine EVERY DAY because that way when I don't get one, I can be pleasantly surprised like George Will!!

Sorry for the long reply, but I hadn't had a chance yet to spell it all out like I wanted to. Don't worry about me, unless I start pretending I have supernatural powers again to prevent migraines! (Wouldn't that be nice??!!)

You're sweet and I appreciate it totally.

Thanks,
Laura
(day after mig)

You know, it really works both ways. You don't want to do the "unreasonably optimistic" route, only to crash and burn. That's for certain. But is it really any better to replace it with "unreasonably pessimistic", i.e. expecting a migraine? To me, that seems counterproductive, because it's setting up for that little trick called "self-fullfilling prophecy".

Better to take each day as it comes, and not be apprehensive one way or the other, I think, going with the proverbial flow. To me, that's the meaning of acceptance ~ come what may. If you burn all your time and energy focusing on the "will I or won't I", then it becomes all too easy to blink and miss those good moments before they've passed. I learned that the hard way.

We know you're dedicated to this battle, and that you're strong, and that you're not giving up. We also know you know how to pamper yourself, and iffin you've got real and for true bunny slippers, you're ahead of me there. Just be careful not to burn yourself out in the process.

You've certainly got droolie prayers in your corner.

Droolie,

Thanks for the prayers, hon!

I'm not really going around in doom and gloom every day, don't worry. And don't worry about self-fulfilling prophecies -- if I could bring on a migraine by worrying about it, I could also do the opposite and avoid them by thinking positive. In truth they are totally random for me. (Some people seem to have more reliable triggers, but Dr. Green and I can't identify any triggers for me that are followed by a migraine more than 30% of the time or so.)

And I agree with your definition of acceptance -- taking each day as it comes. That was what I didn't do the day I got so frustrated. I had taken such good care of myself the day before that I thought for sure I would get another migraine that day. And I had all sorts of plans for things I wanted to do. Usually I can switch to Plan B no problem. But that day I just went into a rage, furious and incredibly resentful, crying and self-pitying. That uses up too much energy too.

So I'm just trying to find the right balance between acceptance and REALISTIC optimism.

And yes I have honest to goodness bunny slippers. I have a picture somewhere. I'll go see if I can find it!

Thanks,
Laura
(1 day no mig)

bunny slippers and funny cartoon

LauraSue's bunny slippers

I know you're not gloom and doom each day. How could you be, with those delightful bungie rabbit slippers? Those are quite cheery.

I just know from plenty of experience how frustrating in it's own right that impending "wait for it" feeling is, even it's anticipation of a good thing. It can be physically taxing, as my funky adrenals can attest. I guess for me, that's where the counterproductive part comes in. I'd rather not "prespend" my energy, so to speak. At least that's the droolie philosophy, which is worth a whoppin' two shiny copper/zinc Lincoln disks.

You just tell those "waiting in the wings" beasties that it's just like old times. If they so much as peek around the curtain, droolie's still got her ACME River Rock Chucker aimed and at the ready. You do remember the River Rock Chucker?

I like your new little tag with the "NO" before the mig.

LauraSue,
that was a great comic post!

Joyce