Migraine

Hi everyone,

I wanted to ask you all to keep my family in your prayers. We lost a close family friend, Diana, today.

Diana was an older lady (85!), but very feisty! She was a terrific friend and always attended every family get-together we had. Diana had a bad stretch--2 heart attacks and a bout of tuberculosis. She seemed to be improving, but then had to be put back on a ventilator at the end of last week.

Ultimately, her children had to decide to take her off of all life support. She lived for 3 more hours (I told you she was feisty!!), but then passed away.

She's got two daughters and many, many grandchildren left here with us.

We miss her terribly already.

Thanks for any prayers or positive vibes you feel like sending here to PA...

jenny

I will be praying for their family and yours.

aaawww, Jenny, I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family and to Diana's family too.

Jenny, It sounds like Diana wasn't just a family friend. It sounds like she was family. That must be really tough. I am so sorry for you and yours.

I'm saying a prayer for your family and hers for comfort.

&

Kelly

Thank you Jaimee, Laura, and Kelly for all of your kind words, hugs, etc.

All of the funeral home viewings start tonight. Diana's funeral will be on Friday. It will be a very hard week for us, but my kids and I have talked many times about Diana having her "angel body" in heaven now. We are all very happy that she's not stuck with that sick, hurting "people-body" anymore...

I'm trying to figure out how to handle my kids and the whole funeral thing. They're 8 and 5. Although DH's parents say the are old enought to attend that stuff, I'm just not sure they'd handle it very well. If you all have any thoughts on THAT matter, I'd appreciate them!

love you guys!

jenny

Jenny,

When my first husband passed away my boys were 3 & 5. The 3 year old stayed with a family friend while my 5 year old had a private viewing and then went to stay with the family friend for the public viewing.

Less than a year later my father passed away and I did the same thing, I allowed them both to view their grandfather privately and had a friend watch them while the public viewing was going on. All these years later, only my oldest son vaguely recalls being there.

I hope this helps

quote:

I'm trying to figure out how to handle my kids and the whole funeral thing. They're 8 and 5. Although DH's parents say the are old enought to attend that stuff, I'm just not sure they'd handle it very well. If you all have any thoughts on THAT matter, I'd appreciate them!

Jenny, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Your friend and family are in my prayers.

We loss our pastor unexpectedly last year. My family knew him well, including the children. Although DH was unable to attend the funeral, I took my four children to the service--ages 1, 3, 5, & 7 at the time.

When we received the news, I told the children and we talked about him and how we were lucky to have him as a part of our lives. We decided that we would all remember our time with him, and now we know an angel by name.

I asked the children if they wanted to go to the funeral service, explaining it would be a long service and quite crowded. It was their choice and they insisted on going. I wanted them to have closure in a way that was comfortable to them. They were amazing.

Before the service, I explained what the service would be like. (I asked myself, how would Elmo say this?) I approached it as a celebration of his life, and it seemed to go well.

That being said, you know your kids and what they are comfortable with better than anyone else. Think of yourself too. You may be more concerned about the children during the funeral and not feel that you had your own time to be present in the moment. Trust your instincts. They are right.

I wish you peace,
Liz

Laura and Liz,

Thank you both so much for your replies. I read them before the funeral, but forgot all about cheking back in with you!

I talked with DH and the kids toggetther. The kids said they really didn't want to go to diana's funeral. They gave some of their piggy bank $$ to make a donation to the Audubon Society in Diana's name. She loved birds and alwyas talked to the kids about them.

They had many questions for me (what made her die? did her heart stop? what did they do at the funerall? etc.). BUt I think I did the right thing by keep ing them home from the funeral.

Liz, I thin the elmo idea really helped me. sometimes it's hard to find the kid words to explain complicated things like death...

Laura, I can't imagine how difficult it was for you and your children to handle the passing of your DH. I know that when I lost my mom a few years ago, it was aboslutely devastating. Your strength amazes me...

Thank you both. YOur help was wonderful!
jenny

Jenny,

I knew your heart would tell you the right thing to do for you and your kids. I'll continue to keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

Many