Migraine

Hi guys,

Does anyone have any ideas about explaining my constant word mix-ups to my kids? I'm a gal who has trouble follwing a thought when I'm strugling with migraine. And since my migraines are chronic and daily now (with varying levels of pain), I feel very ditzy almost every day!

I often substitute one word for another (like telling my kids to "Put your books away" rather than "Put your bikes away.") I also find myself starting one sentence and finishing it with an entirely different thought (like saying "Boys, please stop making dinner" when I mean to say "Boys, please stop fighting. I'm trying to make dinner.")

It's a very strange experience--not being able to finish a rational thought out loud! Years ago, I was a very capable person who often had to lead very important meetings with lots of influential folks in the room (county and state mental health supervisors, psychologists/psychiatrists, etc.). Today, I think they'd see me as a real weirdo!

My kids often think it's silly when I mess up what I'm trying to say. It IS sometimes silly, so I try to chuckle along with them. But sometimes I feel so angry with myself for not being able to express myself more effectively! I try not to get crabby with my kids or DH when they chuckle at me, but sometimes I do feel like snapping at them and saying, "I can't help it! This is a part of my crummy migraine!"

Do any of you have experiences like these?

Anybody got any ideas about how I can explain this stuff better to my family (especially DS8 and DS6)?

Love you guys,
jenny

Oh, Jenny, I totally understand how frustrating Aphasia is. There are some organizations out there that deal with Aphasia, but from the little poking around I've done for myself, they seem to be geared to stroke survivors, or people for whom a speech therapist could be employed to help the person regain a normal speech pattern.

I also have HORRIBLE episodes- mixing up words, not putting sentences together. Trying to explain something and having it take 20 minutes literally- just happened this week.

I was trying to find words to tell about how I'd like to fly to see a childhood friend and how we were both traveling chronic illness roads. The person I was explaining it to knew this person, and didn't know about the fact that she was also suffering with chronic ick. I stopped and started sentences over and over. Finally I went to a sketch pad and we played "pictionary/ win/lose or draw. And my art skills are severely lacking, so it was quite the exercise in communication.

Your post made me want to resume my search in earnest in trying to find resources that could help me.

If I find anything that addresses dealing with word- mix ups or feeling like english is a second language and not finding words, or putting them together to make a logical sentence, I'll definitely share them! It's hard enough dealing with adults who know what's going on when I act like a space cadet, or the biggest ditz in the world. It must be SO much more difficult to have this issue come up while dealing with kids-- who probably have even less ability to comprehend what's going on.

Gobs of hugs!

Jenny I can relate. It is very frustrating! Two things I work on are talking around the issue - letting people know I have something to say, and it may be hard for me - and making sure they know it's not them I'm irritated at if I am irritated. I notice with my kids particularly they are so sensitive to my moods and their perception of my disapproval - I am very careful to say - "I'm frustrated with how I can't find words, not with you!" I know my kids are older, but they still need to hear that - they actually breathe a sigh of relief when they realize my frown or sigh is not about them.

As for how to talk around it - well, that's trickier. Pictionary is a clever idea, Jamie. When you wanted the boys to stop fighting, it's hard to get out what you need quickly enough. Maybe it's enough to say "stop!" to get their attention and give you some time to communicate. And keep it simple - "need to think - cooking - can't take noise..." I think (no scientific evidence for this, but I notice it with my Dad who is aphasic since his stroke) when you don't try to come up with complete sentences and well- expressed thoughts, but just a few words for the basics, it is easier to get it out. It works for me often. Anyway, worth a try!

- Megs

It can be tricky. I find a lot of my jumbling, dropping the ends of sentences and the like is that during migraine, I tend to talk way faster than usual. Sometimes it helps to make a conscious effort to slow down and enunciate, particularly with the jumbling. There isn't always much I can do for the missing words or substitutions but to ride it out. Certainly a sense o' hoomer about it is about the best ally I've ever had. I'm not the best person to ask, perhaps, though. I don't have any kids to worry about, and that affords me the luxury of being able to just go off and isolate if it's really bad, so that I don't have to worry about it until it passes. It's a little harder to do that at school, but sometimes if it's really bad, I let Deb do most of the talking, and I tend to the more clerical side of things for a while.

Major help for me: about 15 years ago, DD2 taught me (us) sign language for "no" and "stop." These work when I'm going aphagic to buy me time to slow down & restart my train of thought to get the words back in order.

My whole family mixes up words. Hence, we have "flobby" for our floppy and flabby cat, Banzai. And, I use a local expression with DH that drives him crazy. I ask him to "reach me down" items from top shelves.

Daddy mixed up words all his life. His mama and sister and brother-in-law, and my mama all told tales about it. He was never diagnosed with migraine, but died of complications from a dementia similar to Alzheimers.

I think my favorite "Daddyisms" were: "straight upendicular" for a perpendicular line that is also plumb (I've heard other Civil Engineers use the phrase, too. All are graduates of The Citadel.); "oxygen" with a hard "g"; calling his son and 2 daughters all "Angel." That saved on name confusion!

Rebecca, The Island Mama

I feel for you Jenny. I have the same issues sometimes. It's really frustrating when you want to say something and it doesn't come out right. DBF teases me about it, like your DH and kids do. Sometimes I'm able to chuckle with him, like you said, but sometimes it's even harder. Especially if it's been a particularly difficult day for me. I've always wondered if it's from the meds or if it's just the migraine. Maybe a little of both. I don't really have much in the line of suggestions on how to explain things. Usually it just comes out: what do you want from me? it's not my fault. But that's my frustration talking more than anything else.



Meli

I had the same problem and also had trouble finding the right words to say. Mine was being caused by a medication that I was taking to prevent migraines. You might want to ask you doctor if that could be the case.

I so hear you Jenny!!!

Aphasia is one of the most annoying and frustrating things I think I experience during a Migraine - that is not pain, of course. I get very frustrated with myself for not being able to talk or form sentences properly and then I get even more frustrated when my husband has not realized yet that it's not funny. I mean, yes, he knows it's not funny, but the things I say sometimes make him chuckle - then it hits him that it's because of a Migraine and he trys to be more patient with me.

One thing I can think of that may help with kids is something that I think Laura either used to do or still does. She has magnets on the fridge that explain that she has a Migraine - instead of just having to say it over and over again.

Maybe you can make magnets that say something like 'Migraine today: bear with me' with a little bear picture or something cute - or even make a chart that says Migraine and then you can list the symptoms you are having under it like "trouble talking" or something like that, something that a younger child would understand...??

I know it is frustrating to feel this way, I know how frustrating it is to be on the other side of this, not to mention being a child and not fully understanding what is going on - it can be a little scary.

Let us know if you figure out a way to help deal with this very annoying symptom!

to you and the kids!

Oh, I so relate. I can total put other words in place of the correct word and totally make no sense. I really hate it when I can't think of the correct word at all. It is very frustrating. Like most, I get this during the pain part of my Migraines.

One day I was at work trying to order supplies for the office. I needed to order more paper clips. I had my container of them sitting in front of me. I just stared at them willing my brain to remember what they were called so I could look them up online to order. I didn't want to ask a coworker what they were called because I know they were have thought I was absolutely nuts!

This reminds me of the time the MRI dye threw me for a huge loop. I was working at the pool, taking tickets that afternoon. At some point, I lost comprehension of money for a few minutes. Not the values, but of money in general. I blinked numbly at it for a good bit before it re-registered and I could move on. That was creepy.

quote:

Originally posted by Heather:
Oh, I so relate. I can total put other words in place of the correct word and totally make no sense. I really hate it when I can't think of the correct word at all. It is very frustrating. Like most, I get this during the pain part of my Migraines.

One day I was at work trying to order supplies for the office. I needed to order more paper clips. I had my container of them sitting in front of me. I just stared at them willing my brain to remember what they were called so I could look them up online to order. I didn't want to ask a coworker what they were called because I know they were have thought I was absolutely nuts!

Isn't it frustrating?! I think that the cognitive jumble is the most difficult thing about migraines. I actually asked my doctor if I had Alzheimers a few years back because of how much difficulty I have retrieving words, jumbling words, and with short term memory.

My job involves a lot of talking where I need people to feel confident with me - and I'm sure that my problems with language inspire a lot of confidence! LOL

A part of my job is to give IQ tests - I've done this for over 25 years, but I sat down to give one a few months ago and had no idea what I was supppose to do or say - I just went blank. Now mind you, I can do these in my sleep! I had to get up and leave to go look at the manual! Couldn't believe it! It was kind of scarey!

One thing I have found that helps me is to slow down - to speak a bit more deliberately than I normally would. I do this as soon as the words go south! It's hard because I can't really say to clients "I'm trouble with a migraine today so my words are jumbled." Makes them wonder if my brain is jumbled too.

Cyn

Oh, thank you so much, everyone! You all are so terrific! It's nice to hear that I'm not alone. And I appreciate your suggestions more than you'll ever know!!

I think the key for me is slowing down my speech and giving my brain a little time to catch up with my mouth! Aphasia will be an issue for me no matter how slowly I speak, but sometimes I can find an alternate word/phrase if I talk very, very slowly.

Thank you all!!!

You're the best!

jenny

Heather - You are looking fabulous!!!

jennyc - since my MTBI I've had this issue. That's almost 13yrs. worth. I haven't really found any tricks other than slowing down, waiting, using my hands and when all else fails - maybe you could write it down. Sometimes getting a pen and paper helps.....My kids ( ) are 14 & 20 and are very helpful and usually understand what I am trying to say.

Nancy,
1) Your new pix is fabulous! You look more cheerful, less dour, etc., than in the "Here come da Judge" pix.

2) Is Harris your maiden name? I'm asking because it's a family name for me. Daddy was Harris Manning, Jr. His grandmother was Maryfrances Harris, from Mississippi. Just curious.

Oh, I still mix up words. I'm nervous about doing it on job interviews. Will just have to live with that, I suppose, and laugh it off as nerves.

Rebecca, The Island Mama

LOL !

And at some point in my teenage years I did want to be a judge!!!! Thanks for the kind words, Rebecca. Yup- Harris is my maiden name. My dad is an only child. And we don't have any relatives from the south, I'm sorry to say.