Migraine

I have been doing a lot of reading on the anti-convulsants and depression and am now too chicken to start the Keppra! The Vimpat is now out of my system and while the depression is letting up - thank God! - the beast is moving back in and making himself at home with a flourish!

My gp here has "no answers" for me, and I cannot get in to see a psychiatrist about the depression until February (now that's helpful)! And I don't have a neurologist here that I can see.

While I talked with Dr. K just a few days ago, I'm thinking about flying down to Dallas to see if I can see him before things get back to where they were eight weeks ago. I've called their office but they are already closed for the day.

Part of my feels like I'm being WAY too impulsive; the other part feels like the smart thing to do is to head this off before things get back out of control.

I could call Dr. K's office first thing in the morning and see if he could see me and grab a 9:00 flight.

Am I crazy or what????

Cyn

Cyn,

While it's good to know what to watch for with side effects, remember they are POSSIBLE. You know your baseline of how you feel. If that changes, call Dr. K for how to proceed.

I've been on 3 anti-seizure drugs, two helped me. Of the two that helped me one caused some depression, one did not. The depression was easily fixed with a small dose of an anti depressant. I was willing to add that since as the drug was helping me.

Good luck

No, you're not crazy.

Like Cindy mentioned, potential side effects listed are just that. Potential. The majority of people either don't experience them, or experience them mildly. It's important not to read too much into side effects lists, especially if you're gearing up to try an new med. You have to be careful about that self-fulfilling prophecy thingie. It's too easy to talk yourself into deciding you might have a side effect from the list. Too much of dwelling on lists like that can make you leery of trying anything new, which can keep you from finding whatever it is that is destined to be your *wonder* med.

Wanna know what I do to short-circuit the self-fulfilling prophecy thingie? I DON'T research my meds ahead of time in terms of side effects. I do think it's important to read the contraindication information up front, in case it mentions interactions with something else I take, but I initially ignore the potential side effects listings. I give the med a few days head start without prior knowledge of that list. If I start noticing unusual, concerning, or particularly bothersome effects after I've been on the med for a few days, then by all means at that point I check the list to see if it might be on there. Eventually, I do read ALL the info, including that list, but then it's less daunting a task.

I have tried really hard to put a happy face on and major on the positive, but I have been really fighting significant depression and wondering what my purpose even is in this life. I have cried more than I've slept in spite of taking my prozac and interacting with my psychologist. While there is little chance that I'd ever do something to hurt myself - I generally enjoy and value life too much - it is just so overwhelming and black to not feel happy about living. I look at all I have going for me and feel even worse about feeling bad.

In talking with my psychologist and my brother, they've both reiterated how hyper-sensitive I am to medication and how easily it messes with my mood. It's hard not to be ashamed of having such a chronic predisposition to really deep depression, but that is the way I'm wired. I've come to the point of accepting that it doesn't make me a bad person or an inadequate Christian, but it is still hard to share just how bad things are and admit that the "help" I have isn't helping anymore.

I'm not concerned about whether or not the next medication has a side effect of serious depression as long as I have a game plan to work thought that or counteract it.

As I've mentioned my mood is lightening some now that the Vimpat is out of my system, but now the beast is raging!

How many times in my life have I just given up and said "that's just the way things are; there's nothing I can do about it?!" But the truth is there is something I can do about it - it just means me being very honest and open to the direction of a doctor who I fully inform of what is going on.

Right now, I need a booster shot of hope.

Dr. K's office called back and said to come on down. Of course, being my worrywart self I'm concerned that I'm driving Dr. K or Jane crazy, but instead I'm going to focus on the incredible blessing of having such wonderful medical help and the ability to go and see them. I was able to find a morning flight and had enough frequent flyer miles to be able to fly for free. My family and friends are supporting me, so here I go.

I would appreciate your prayers. I AM going to keep adding to that thanksgiving list as I know there is so much more in my life to smile about than to cry about!!! But I also need to be honest about where I am as I know that is the only way to get the help I need. As Dr K says, he can't read minds!

Thanks my friends,

Cyn



1

First off, I have you in my thoughts and I hope Dr.K can help you.

Second, would you be ashamed of having heart disease? Of having cancer? Depression is a biological medical condition. It is not a personal failure. I know you "know" that, but it is really important to keep reminding yourself. Also, even if you didn't already have depression, being in pain all the time is really depressing! There is nothing wrong with being miserable sometimes when you are in a miserable situation. If any migraineur wasn't depressed from time to time, I'd question thier sanity!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Cyn: It's hard not to be ashamed of having such a chronic predisposition to really deep depression, but that is the way I'm wired. I've come to the point of accepting that it doesn't make me a bad person or an inadequate Christian, but it is still hard to share just how bad things are and admit that the "help" I have isn't helping anymore.

Also, I've tried two anti-convulsants, Depakote and Neurontin. I had no problem with Depakote (but it didn't help), but the Neurontin did make me very depressed, even though I'm already on Lexapro to treat my depression.


Keep us posted on how you are doing.... Kel

Cyn,

I understand the concern you have for trying the Keppra, but I agree with Dragondrool, she's got the right idea about not reading the side effects ahead of time. I tend to read them only when I notice changes while being on a med, like when I was on Topamax and couldn't taste anything, and found out that that was one of the side effects. I'm glad you're going to see Dr. K. I hope he can help you.

Kelly's right, you shouldn't feel inadequate because you've been depressed. Constant pain is an understandable reason for being depressed. We all know how you feel. Like Kelly, I took Depakote and noticed no changes in mood. I'm just starting on the Neurontin so we'll see how that goes. I've noticed that I'm emotionally less stable on the Amitriptyline, which is an antidepressant, but it does say that in some patients depression can increase. Not fun. Hopefully I don't have problems with the Neurontin to add to that depression.

I've noticed you come across as a very positive person in a lot of your posts. Keep it up. I know your faith in God will help you get through anything.

Good luck in Dallas!
Meli