Migraine

My ex husband and I attended a meeting at the school last night. Apparently, the French teacher had some concerns. We met with the principal, director of special services, guidance counselor, homebound instructor, french and science teacher. It was awful!!!!

The first thing the french teacher asked us was what is Andrew's status? Is he on homebound? I was thinking, are you kidding me? You should know that he has been on homebound since the end of March.

The next thing he said was I understand that Andrew is playing baseball. That made me SO MAD!! What does baseball have to do with French? Apparently, he wonders why this kid can play baseball and not be in school. We told him, we would love him to be in school when he feels well, but the school won't allow it. We would love a combo of school and homebound, but it can't be done. Baseball is just about his only socialization since he isn't in school. All of his French is done and turned in so who cares. We knew that would come up eventually, but it is infuriating to me.

Anyhow, the french teacher's main concern is that Andrew isn't learning to speak french at all. That's not our fault. I asked them to help us find a tutor. I asked them for tapes for the french book. They have done NOTHING extra. I don't speak french. I can't help. I could not believe the audacity of this guy. This is his responsiblity. He is the teacher. He is now bringing concerns up with 4 weeks left in the school year. Give me a break. We do have someone working with him on his french. If he didn't have this help, he wouldn't be able to get through the class.

At this point, my ex husband got very angry and they had quite a fight. I was getting so upset that I started crying and my hands were shaking. I have never experienced discrimination like this ever. I'm still shocked over the whole thing. The teacher is mad at us because Andrew is out sick. He is mad about things we have no control over.

My ex husband said "I want him out of French." I was saying "wait what are the other options?" Andrew has had an A in french every marking period. We don't want to lose the credit NOW. We finally reached an agreement that the teacher will put a packet together for the final and he will work on studying for the final and that's it.

BUT, the teacher asked that he not take French 2 next year if he is still sick. Can you believe that? He said french 2 is much more conversational and you have to be in class blah, blah, blah. What if he starts school feeling well and ends up out of school again just like this year? Honestly, I don't want Andrew to ever take French with this guy again. This isn't very accomodating to a disability is it?

Next was the science teacher. Andrew has been complaining about her all year long. Now we know why. She sent us a demanding email about a week ago. There was a paper due and she was holding him to the same deadline as all the other kids in school. If it wasn't in on time she was taking points off. She also demanded that he be in school on May 23 to participate in a project.

Andrew worked very hard to get the paper done on time. I helped him with it. He was not feeling well most of that time. At the meeting she handed us the paper and said it was plaguerized. What???? I saw him taking notes from several sources. He did note cards. He did every bit of work. She thinks he put in too many sentences matching some of the sources. If that was the case, it was inadvertant. Like I said he spent hours and hours on this project. I knew that she would find some fault with it.

I said I want him out of honors science. We can't win with her. Even if he redid the paper she would somehow bring the grade down. I'm certain there would be a short deadline as well. Plus we can't guarantee his presence on May 23. If he didn't make it in what ridiculous thing would she have him do in place of it? The principal agreed with me that we put him in regular science. There is no report to do and no project. Unfortunately, we are still stuck with her. But, Andrew does not have to have anymore contact with her.

I said to her "I understand that regular science class uses their notebook for tests. He is not taking another test without it." She said "They can only use their homework notebook not their class notes notebook and Andrew has all of his together." I said "why don't we photocopy the homework pages and make him a new notebook to use for the tests and the finals." She said "I guess, I could allow that." Isn't she generous? This woman has been difficult every since he started having problems with his migraines. She is one of the two that would not give him full credit for late work even though he was sick.

Thank goodness for our homebound instructor. He is a very nice young teacher. He is shocked by some of the teachers as well. He told us that the Director of special services cannot believe the problems we are having with the teachers. She is on our side. I noticed the guidance counselor shaking her head in agreement with the things that my ex and I were saying. I know she agrees with us too. She has been involved with Andrew every since the problems began in Nov 2006.

The director of special services is going to start working on a new 504 plan for next year to better protect Andrew from this type of thing. But, I don't believe he will be in this school district again next year. We have an appointment in June to enroll him in cyber school. We will continue to work with the school just in case something changes and he goes back.

In addition to his migraines he began experiencing stomach problems just before we took him out of school. We mentioned that the stress of certain teachers pressuring him about work and making comments to other students about him was the cause of that stress.

I can't wait for this school year to end.
Jean Ann

I"m so sorry this is going on. I'm afraid I don't have any advice. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. I'm surprsied that the guidance counselor or director of special services hasn't confronted these teachers and told them about the law and the school's policy on homebound education. Sounds like she's arrogant beyond belief. And the plagiarism accusation! I'd like for her to show him exactly what's wrong. Otherwise, with just a general accusation, Andrew won't learn anythign from the experience.

And the French teacher is arrogant as well. There ought to be tapes that Andrew could listen to. Or a tutor that spoke French. Someone to teach Andrew the oral part of French. It's not something you can learn by yourself, and it's almost impossible to learn if you're missing as many classes as Andrew has.

But y'all did the right things. I hope the school learns something. And I hope Andrew gets into cyber school. That sounds wonderful. My Diet Center counselor teaches an on-line Marriage and Family course for one of the local community colleges. She acts like it's not a problem for everythiing to be online.

Pleasse excuse the typos. I'm seeing double this morning. I thinkk it's a migraine thing, and I've taken my first dose of Imitrex. Time for the second one.

And I love that you and your ex are working together on this.

Big hugs for everyone!

Gretchen in Mississippi

As a teacher, I must apologize profusely for the behavior of those teachers and say I am definitely on your side.

At one time I was on the executive board of our local teachers' union. That was my first experience with middle and high school teachers. I must say they are a different breed than elementary teachers (for the most part). I tried to be understanding to their plight and I know they have things hard but after working with them on union stuff, I've come to believe they bring a bunch of that on themselves.

Middle and High school teachers (in general, there are a few that don't fit the mold) are very black and white and very one size fits all. I understand that this is partly due to the structure of our secondary schools. There are just plain too many kids for each teacher. I'm not in any way condoning anything that happened at your meeting (I wish I could have been there as an advocate for your son) but there just isn't enough time in the day for the teachers to do all the things they're required to do. That has been exacerbated by the busywork of Leave No Child Behind. You would not believe the amount of time being spent these days having teachers do busy bookkeeping data collecting for some higher monkey monk so they can cover their tails. It takes time away from the teacher actually teaching and helping kids. It's so frustrating.

That being said, I'm sorry to say it probably won't get any better. There just isn't the ability to differentiate for special needs. Unfortunately a 504 plan should help but often doesn't. I've heard secondary teachers complain about how unfair they are to teachers so kids who have them are often looked down upon. It's as if some teachers are looking for the 504 kids to screw up so they can zing a "gotcha" on them.

Any child who has a special need of any kind will not do well in public secondary school unless it is very small (like under 300 students). I think the cyber school or home school or perhaps private school are your only options. Public education is for basic education of the masses. It never was structured for anything out of the norm. I'm so sorry.

If you ever need information or a professional opinion, feel free to ask. I'm there for you.

Jean Ann, I am so sorry to hear that your meeting went so poorly. My heart really goes out to you and Andrew. I wish I could do something for you other than offer you virtual hugs and support. I ran across my more-than-fair share of jerky teachers in middle and high school, and that was before my migraines are anything like they are now, or Andrew's are.

Hang in there - we're all here for you.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that Jean Ann. That's pretty much the same type of thing we went through last year. I wish there was a good solution to offer you, it sounds like cyber school may be a great thing. The cycle of stress that andrew is caught in right now is not going to help relieve the migraines. perhaps if he does the cyber school thing that cycle can be broken and maybe his migraines can be fewer and far between.
sending hugs and good wishes to you, stay strong!

That is miserable! I've worked in a special education department for over 11 years now, and the people I work with would NEVER have allowed this to happen. Incredible - I am so sorry you have to deal with this on top of having an ill child. That's just wrong.

Stick to your guns - the law is on your side - that's the good news!

Sorry Jean Ann to here about the terrible meeting with the school. I have been there with my kids, too. Just remember that even if your son doesn't have good teachers in his corner at school, he does have an loving awesome Mom that will go to battle for him. So just remember the headbanging and crying we do is because we are loving moms.

Mary in NM

Oh, Jean Ann, I'm so sorry for you and your family! That meeting was just awful! No wonder Andrew was feeling so stressed! I'm sure he was feeling quite a bit of the hostility the teachers expressed with you during the meeting.

and for you! Remember, this school year is over in just a few weeks! You guys can make it! Then you'll have a little bit of time to make some decisions for next year.

jenny

Oh boy,

What a load of nonsense. Your son is lucky to have a great mom, just like the others here have said, to go to bat for him.

Hang in there.

Oh, Jean Ann!

I've fought your fight from both sides. While I lost with Kat, I'd like to think I won for some of my students.

Kat IS graduating from Massage Therapy School in October, so let's just say our success was delayed.

Am I overreacting, or are Andrew's French and Science teachers not complying with his 504 Plan? This sounds to me like a serious enough violation to file a complaint with at least your school district AFTER y'all are assured of cyber school placement.

Wishing here - a private school that would understand and meet Andrew's needs. Or, at least a much smaller public school that was the perfect fit for a smart, funny teenager I've come to love.

Hang in there, Mama! Hang in there, Andrew! What's the line? "Ni illigitimi carborundum?" Je ne sais pas!

,

Rebecca

My heart goes out to you. We are so blessed to go to a Christian school where Sarah's teachers have been very supportive.

I have a suggestion for next year although I don't know what your state laws are. There are a couple of strong homeschool programs that you might consider. Abeka offers a video program that is excellent and it would allow your son to work when he feels like it. Also Switched On Schoolhouse is a computer program that can be done at home. Our school accepts Switched on Schoolhouse and Sarah has done some of her coursework that way

My prayers are with you because we too are trying to keep up and just survive until the end.

Keep us posted.
Melanie
lovemykids411

Wow! I am so sorry you are all going through this. I can only imagine and sympathize with all of this. It seems that in schools some teachers only deal well with the "typical" student. Any variation on that and it throws them. Some teachers try hard to stretch themselves to reach kids, and others just are lazy and take it out on the kids. I know one day we will have these types of issues with Lauren, but this year we were so lucky to have an awesome teacher. (It also helps that she is having an miraculously light migraine season). My son has a differant learning style (not the same as having migraines but it makes him differant). HIs kindergarten teacher thought there was something wrong with him and his first grade teacher thought he was very gifted. Every year the teacher has a wildly differrent idea of him and there attitudes vary so widely to him. It is infuriating that they are fighting against you not with you to help him. What a waste of effort on their part. Hopefully your advocated (counselor and special services) will be able to help you guys get through the rest of this year!
Here's a virtual hug because I know you need it!!
Lynn

Hi Everyone

As always thank you for all of your support. It is always helpful to get the support and advice that all of you offer.

I have been in contact with the advocate/attorney from CT. She thinks this is outrageous. Initially, I asked her to send a letter to the school. She said she would, but warned me that they would get very angry about it.

I have been thinking about this for a week. I'm going to hold off on the letter until this school year is over. I just can't deal with this problem right now.

The advocate thinks it is a mistake to take Andrew out of that school. She thinks I should make them do their job. While I feel that we are right and they are clearly wrong, my son is the one suffering.

We will work with the director of special services on a new 504 plan. I'm 99% certain that Andrew won't be going back there next year, but he would like to return there at some point. I want to have something in writing in case the nice person who will be working on this should leave her position before he goes back.

The doctor sent her a letter last week per her request stating what migraine is, how long it lasts, what are the symptoms, what would help at school. I asked him to include the potential side effects of the drugs. This year the drugs were as big a problem as the migraines.

The worst part of this whole thing is that Andrew wants to be in school with his peers. He said "I just want to go to school like a normal kid." I really want him to, but...

The cyber school I mentioned is an online public school that Andrew will be able to work on when he feels well enough. He has to sign in every school day for attendance, but he can work any hours he wants to. There are very few private schools in our area so we don't have a lot of options. Homeschooling is an option as well, but the cyber school is similar to that with outside instructors. It takes the burden off us (me and my ex).

Someone asked if the school is in violation of the 504 plan. The lawyer told me to ask for my school district's homebound policy. Apparently, they don't have one that addresses homework.

I do think they are in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. I think they violated the 504 plan when he was in school. Even though they are wrong I don't see a good resolution to any of this. I've been doing research on filing complaints with different agencies and consulting with the attorney. Since the school now has someone in place to make it better from now on, I don't think any complaining will help us.

At year end, I definitely want to send a letter either from myself or the attorney to the superintendent outlining how badly the school has handled all of this. They really need some training in 504 plans along with sensitivity training.

The special services director is looking into points being taken off for late assignments for science. It's only this one teacher taking points off.

The last day of school is June 13th. I will definitely be celebrating that day.

Thanks Everyone!!!
Jean Ann

As if this school doesn't have other, bigger worries to concern themselves with? I just don't get it?

Hang in there.

Jean Ann,

I am so sorry that Andrew has to go through this again. I know what you are going through with difficult teachers. Keep trying. You are doing the right thing.

I think cyber school next year would not actually be a bad thing. As much as I didn't like the reason why I started doing cyber school, it gave me the time I needed to expierment and find something that worked without the pressure of school and the judgment of teacher and some other students. I don't know if I would be able to be in school the way I am now if I did not have that time.

If he does stay in school next year, can I suggest something for his new 504 plan? One of the only things in mine that I have actually used is having them handmake my schedule to fit me. I usually got my migraines after lunch, so I arranged my schedule to have my core classes in the morning. This helps me to be able to leave school early for appoinments and being sick when I need to without having to worry about having a lot of work to make up.

Good luck! Let us know how everything goes.