Migraine

I am so tired today. Sarah is struggling with meds and her excitement coming off of Dr. K's visit is now wearing away. Her head is hurting terribly today and I came home to get a DHE injection all ready and when I went in to give it to her she wouldn't do it? I guess sometimes I just get tired of the whining but it seems like she doesn't want to do some things that can atleast give some relief. Now the shot is all set up and just sitting here. Now what? By the way, how long can it stay in the srynge? Anway, I guess I just need to whine but how do we get them to quit giving up and stay in the fight?

Melanie
lovemykids411

Even though it's completely not fair, there are always going to be backslides with migraine. It's no fun crashing off of a high like such a hopeful visit and signs of progress. And there are days we're all just too sick of the meds and the rigamarole and then we wonder why we're fighting so hard.

The best way to get them to quit giving up and keep fighting is to keep on being there and showing that you're never giving up. It's not always easy when we're feeling tired and worn out ourselves, but an unflagging sense of being in things together, come what may goes a very long way.

As for the syringe you've got made up now, I have no idea how long it's good for. I would suggest calling your pharmacy and asking.

At any rate, to help sustain you both.

My daughter was 10-12 years old when her migraines were really bad, and Nikoli only gets them occasionally. But, both kids had a terrible time dealing with the pain - it was way more pain than they both were/are used to.

I've had no problems with them taking their meds, and Nikoli has agreed to slow down on Halloween and Easter chocolate - massive quantities of chocolate are obviously a trigger, but occasional chocolate isn't.

But neither one was or is 16 - that's a whole different monster as far as listening to mom or a doctor.

Just love her and tell her you're there for her. I know it breaks your heart, but maybe when she realizes mom and Dr. K know what they are talking about, she'll settle down.

Awwwww, Melanie! It just doesn't seem fair, does it?

You're absolutely not alone in this. In fact, Nancy just wrote a SharePost about another family with somewhat similar issues. Take a look at Migraines and Teens.

You're in one of the toughest situations imaginable. Our children are our children, our babies, forever; yet, this "baby" of yours is of an age where you're preparing her to go out into the world on her own.

You already know to stay positive yourself, keep letting her know how much you love her. Nobody needs to remind you of those things.

Maybe it's time to do a few things that may seem more difficult. It may be time to ease into her being responsible for her treatment and taking care of herself. That's so hard with our children, but if we ease into it and teach them these things while they're still home with us, it's easier than them being thrust into it when they leave our homes.

A few suggestions:

• Unless she's too ill to do it, she should prepare her own injections so she learns how to do it.
  
• I know you've been learning about Migraine disease, but has she? If she hasn't, there's no time like the present. We started it with our grandaughers at about the age of 10.
  
• This is a good time for her to learn to trigger identification and management.
  
• It's also a good time for her to learn to manage her daily medications.
  
• At 17, she's essentially an adult patient. Maybe it's time for her to have her own account here and come participate in the forum herself.

Melanie, if you'd like to discuss this, please let me know. Just email me your phone number and a good time to call. You can use the email addy in my sig. My heart goes out to you, Melanie. This is a hard age for any family, let alone when you're dealing with a chronic disease.

Huggles,

Melanie,

I just read through the post on this. I have a 17 year old daughter. The only comparison I can make is they are 17, Piper does not have a chronic disease.

Teri has made excellent points that Sarah is basically an adult patient and needs to start managing the process of her medication and her disease herself.

About a year ago I started having my daughter make her own doctor and dentist appointments. Frankly I could not keep up with her schedule to make them. At first she was very angry. "Everyone elses Mother's do this for them". Well now she will simply call me and say "Mom, this (insert aliment) is much worse and I need to see the doctor. I'm calling for an appointment for today or tomorrow. I'll probably have to miss class. Is that ok?"

Sarah may need the same type of push. The most difficult thing I have had to do with my children, especially Piper is to step back and let her go. It went against every instinct I have, but I knew it's what needed to be done.

I've heard many great things about the complete care offered by Dr. K. Does the office also offer counseling? Besides the normal 17 year old things Sarah is going through, she is having to deal with a chronic disease and being different. If they don't, than maybe someplace closer to home.

Take care Melanie.

Cindy

Hi Melanie

What a tough situation! My son is only 14, but we are just entering those tough teen years.

I always try to be positive with my son when I discuss his illness. I say things like "this medication might be the one or won't it be great if this one works?" Whenever he has a good day, I make a comment about it. So far, it has helped him, but again we are earlier in the teen years than you are.

We have been constantly reminding my son of the need to sleep regular hours, drink lots of fluids and eat regularly. He knows those things are triggers for him. But, sometimes, he just won't do it. There's only so much we can do as parents. It really is her health. You can be there by her side and encourage her, but she has to take some responsibility.

I just started my son in counseling. He doesn't want to do it, but he did go to the first appointment last week. The counselor asked me, in front of my son, why I wanted my son in counseling. I told him it was because of this chronic illness. The teen years are tough, but being sick all the time makes it that much harder.

Good Luck. I will be thinking of you and your daughter. I hope her migraines will improve soon.

Jean Ann

Thanks for the great advice. Teri, I may take you up on your offer. Let's see how this week goes.

Oddly enough five minutes after I posted, Sarah asked for her shot. She has actually taken the responsibility for her meds and is very good about it but for some reason when she gets really bad and it is time for her stronger meds she just seems to give up. She knows how to administer the shots but gets a little nervous before doing it so for now I give them to her when needed. Dr. K suggested using her upper leg muscle instead of the hip so hopefully she can get comfortable with this soon.

The counseling route hasn't worked very well but she is getting to where she talks to our youth pastor's wife and our pastor so that is helping.

Teri, you are right about her learning more about her disease. Sometimes I think she doesn't because she is always overwhelmed with makeup work from being sick and she is also working on a Nasa project that has been going on since January. Her free time is rather limited and I think that may be part of it. I don't know if I am just making excuses for her or not though.

Anyway, I will read that article and thanks for the support. I know we all deal with these struggles together and that is a huge help.

Melanie
lovemykids411