Migraine

My 11 year old son Alex has suffered with migraines since he was 2 years old. His school is well aware of his problem since he is in his third year there and has visited the clinic on numerous occasions. Last week I had to sign him in 1/2 an hour late due to waking up with a migraine. He was able to take his medicine (Imitrex) and felt well enough to go to school. When I signed him in, the secretary at the desk rolled her eyes at him and told him he needs to make it to school on time. There were several other people in the office at the time which kept me from just "going off" on her. Some days we are lucky if he makes it to school at all. Yesterday he came home and said his music teacher had a talk with him because he has failed to learn a song on the piano because he has been absent too many times. Alex explained that it was because of his migraines and the teacher told him that he has a son in high school who gets migraines and they force him to go when he has one. They refuse to send home schoolwork when he is absent, preferring that he make it up in school while the other kids go out to recess. I feel like he is being punished for having a disability. I often wonder if my child had some sort of VISIBLE illness or God forbid, cancer would they be more sympathetic? I have a meeting next Wednesday and I plan to bring a letter from his doctor as well as some literature about children and migraines, slap it on the desk and say "here, educate yourselves" I am so frustrated!

Hi Alison

Your school makes me mad. I can certainly sympathize with you. I have gone through some similar issues myself this year.

My son is in 9th grade. The teachers have made numerous comments to other students and to my son about my son being absent. My son ended up with stomach problems this year from the stress of school.

If that woman in the office says anything more to your son, I would "go off" on her no matter how many people are there. I find it totally inappropriate for the office staff and the teachers to make comments to the kids about being sick. My feeling is that if the teacher has something to say, she should call the parent.

I feel the same way that you do. I told the principal at my school that my son was being punished for having a disability.

Do you have a 504 plan in place? Are there any alternative schooling options for your son? In the state of PA there are charter cyber schools. They are public schools that you can attend at home 24/7 at your convenience online. They are free. But, not all states have that option.

I would love my son to go to cyber school, but he really wants to be at school with his friends. We have 3 more years of this nonsense to deal with. It's not going to be easy.

My son is currently out of school on homebound instruction. That has relieved some of the stress. It's not the best way to get an education.

When I had my last meeting with the school, I made an outline of what my concerns were and what I wanted to happen. I think it helps if you are well prepared then you won't forget anything.

Here is a website to an advocate for chronically ill people. www.advocacyforpatients.org

I contacted her for help with my 504 plan and school situation. She is very good and very helpful. She is an attorney.

Hang in there. I know how frustrating it is. Please let us know how you your meeting at school goes. I wish I could go with you.

Jean Ann

What a bummer that school is. GRRRR! Lauren is very fortunate to have a great school that works with her to support her, but from reading the forums clearly everyone is not so lucky. There have been many discussions on 504 plans and other types of tools out there to help you and your son in this very situation. He deserves much better than he is getting. I think there was a thread last summer going about all of this in great detail. See if you can find it. Also I remember there are advocates that you can use in your community if you need it. I will defer to others on this forum with more knowledge and experience than I have, for advice and what not. I do offer prayers and hope that you get the help you both deserve!!
Virtual Hugs!!
Lynn

Hi Alison!

Another useful letter maybe the letter Teri wrote up called
Understanding Migraine: for those who don't "get it"

I'm so sorry that you and your son have to go through this with the school. As Jean Ann mentioned, looking into the 504 plan is a good idea, if you have not done so already.

As I'm sure you can see, we have a lot of great parents on this board, as well as migraineurs, so if you need any help in any way - we are here for you!!!

I thank all of you for your support and information. I sometimes feel as if the school employees have never heard of a migraine headache before. We do not have cyber schools here in Florida, the best they can offer is homebound instruction and that's only available during school hours. My theory is that if Alex is not well enough to go to school how could he be well enough for homebound teaching. It's not as if he is recovering from a broken leg, etc. he can't function. We are seriously considering homeschooling next year and he is very open to that. Just the relief of knowing that he won't have to face school when he feels bad is comforting. I did manage to get an appt. on Monday with the neurologist so I will have a letter for Wednesday to take with me to school. Alex has been on an IEP since kindergarten due to a learning disability and when I asked his guidance counselor about a 504 plan she told me that it was not necessary since his IEP acts in the same way. I am now finding out that isn't quite true. I do appreciate the link from Jean Ann and will check it out tonight. Thanks again for everything.

Hi Alison!

I have some experience with homeschooling and fighting with school districts over 504 and IEP plans because my son has Asperger's and has a very hard time with being around other kids, has learning disablities, and is prone to asthma attacks, difficulty swallowing.

If you are interested in Computer homeschooling there is a great online web program that does K-8 for on $19.95 or so a month. It's called Time4Learning. They allow you look it over on a trial basis of 30 days for free. It has a well developed scope and sequence that follows most major public schools in the nation.

I am lucky where I live to have a family school--combination homeschool and public school. It has been an aknowledgement by our school district that parents are the most important teachers in our children's lives.

There is an attitude many adminstrators and school officials have about us parents--we are a hinderance to the education process. It may be hard to believe that, but that sounds like the attitude you are getting. Having a child who is sick all the time makes you look like a bad parent, and they are going to see you as the problem. Just being aware of that fact can arm you for the fight some of these battles are.

If you sit up an IEP type meeting, request politely (demand) that the principal be in attendance--you have every right to have them there and they are the ones who are responsible to make sure an IEP is followed.

If your son has a IEP Plan does is it include a specification of other health impared? In some cases OHI gives you alot more standing than 504s.

Hope maybe that helps some

from a mom that's been there

Mary in NM

Oh Alison! Im ss the school is putting you and your child through all that! I do like the idea of you getting a note from your Dr, as well as Terrys article, and your own letter perhaps and slapping it on their desks!

Also I must say, I must commend you.. If that lady had done that, I would have lit in and made a HUGE scene, especially since others were in the office!!! but thats me. Tee hee

Anyway, I homeschool my son, and have since half way through his 2nd grade year. He is in 4th grade now, though I am retaining him next year, so he will be in 4th again. We have spent the last year catching up everything he missed in first, second, and a good part of third grade due to illnesses, migraines and others. He has had a good health year, but not so great migraine year this year, so we made a LOT of work up this year.

Saying that... Homeschooling allows the child to work when he(sorry I use he as habit..) is feeling well, and allows a nap or late start or whatnot when they arent! Frequently TJ my son will continue to work after he has taken his Maxalt. He may not feel 100% but can still get some work done. And if they get a bit behind, like my son was, you can always push and make it up even if its partly into the next school year like I have done with TJ.

I am lucky enough in our school district to have a Homeschool Connection through the public schools. He is basically enrolled in public, but as a home taught student. Parents have full control of what curriculm, but the public school offers classes that are harder for kids to do at home, and great interaction with other homeschooled kids! The teachers are wonderful, and they also provide the basic course classes(IE. math, reading writing, SS, and science)

The kids go to the classes on part time basis, and do rest of schooling at home. Its up to the parents to pick what classes they want. Like, writing, choir, art, drama, chess, etc. It works great to teach my child with HIS needs in mind, yet let him get that interaction he needs with kids his age. If your school district doesnt have a program like this, I highly reccomend finding a local homeschool group. Most cities have many to choose from! Homeschooling is becoming a more and more popular alternitive to the lousy public schools!



Tawsha and TJ
P.S. TJ also has learning disabilities. Dyslexia and Dysgraphia. We manage better at home I think than he would in schools! They just dont understand his way of thinking and learning!

I am so sorry to hear about your problems with your son's schools. There are lots of good ideas here but I want to add a bit of information.

I am not justifying the secretary's or any teacher's behavior but there is another side of this. I am a teacher. There are usually policies regarding attendance and school employees get lots of pressure from "up above" to improve attendance because it means money. There is also policies regarding the number of absences. I have to retain students if they miss more than 18 days a year (that's 10%) of the school year. To help with the administrational needs, make sure the office has documentation from your child's doctor that your child has migraines and that it is expected that more school days than normal will be missed as a result. Often we get hounded because we don't have any documentation to justify the absences for when the "state" comes in to audit our records. We get written up if we don't keep our absences to a minimum or if we do not have proper documentation for any child with excessive absences. I am a huge migraine sufferer myself so I am on the side of the child on this one.

My bigger concern is what's being missed academically. I have a little girl in my class this year with migraines this year who is gone a lot (understandably so). She is struggling academically because she misses so much instruction. Some lessons and concepts are very complex and I can't give her the instruction individually. I have to find something for the rest of the class to do while I try to catch her up. Much of her makeup instruction is hit or miss and I feel really bad because I know she is having such a hard time "getting" stuff because of it. She really needs the individualized instruction of a homeschool program, something that can work around her migraines because it's impossible for a teacher to do with a classroom full of (often misbehaving) students.

Getting a 504 plan or IEP (if possible) is very helpful. I have to fail that little girl in my class if she's struggling because she doesn't have any plan on record to justify her difficulties. It isn't fair to her. She is trying her hardest and making adequate progress but because of "Leave No Child Behind" laws, everything is very black and white as far as what she is required to accomplish. I used to be able to use my judgment when grading a student. I used to be able to give grades based on how much progress they were making. I could take into consideration things like migraines, etc. However, in today's climate of cookie cutter educational policies, it's DO OR DIE! We teachers aren't allowed to do that anymore. Everything is based on tests and students' scores on these tests.

My student with the migraines misses a lot of tests or I have to give her the test individually as a makeup while the rest of the class acts up all around her. I know she can't concentrate with everyone else not testing but I don't have any other way to give the makeup. I can't keep her in from recess. The law in California forbids me from taking a child's recess away for ANY reason. I also cannot keep her after school. That would be considered punishing her for her absences and I'm not allowed to do that. So my hands are tied. I have to get the mandated tests done by her. Her scores on those tests are NEVER as good as they would have been if she could have taken them with the whole class in a "testing atmosphere." But I can't provide a testing atmosphere with only one student taking the test. It's physically impossible.

Sorry to rant but it's just so unfair to students like your son. Even in you can find a teacher who WANTS to work with you, often they are not allowed to. I'm not condoning what is going on at your child's school but I thought if would be helpful to understand the pressures they're under that may be causing some of their lack of understanding. If a child has any special needs at all, the current policies make it impossible for your child to function in the current eductional environment. Homeschooling of some sort if your only solution right now unfortunately.

Best of luck to you. You will be in my thoughts.

I just wanted to say thanks to Hoopsky and all you other teachers out there. The job that teachers do is hard, and many days thankless. The behavior of some kids is reprehensible. You hit the nail on the head--cookie cutter education policies. Only kids aren't cookies but individuals.

Reading some of your posts and realizing that alot of you are teachers and suffering with migranes. I can't imagine dealing with 30+ students everyday, all day and having a bad migrane.

Being able to Homeschool children is a good strategy for making them not cookie cutted.

Mary in NM

an understanding teacher/administration can make all the difference. my daughter's elementary school was very supportive but when she went into the middle school it was a complete nightmare.
finding an advocate in your area and getting a 504 are good tools. thankfully my daughter's migraines are fewer and further between or i'd definitely be home-schooling right now.

we put our son (not a migraine sufferer) in private school because we were tired of the "cookie cutter" "being treated like a number" issues of public school. our daughter wouldn't go because she didn't want to leave her friends....she may go next year. sadly i hate our school district.

Once again I want to thank everyone for all the good info. and support. I am so glad I found all of you and only wish I had known about this forum a long time ago. We met again yesterday with Alex's neurologist. He is up to 50 mgs of Topomax now as well as 400 mgs of Magnesium oxide. She was concerned about his lack of appetite on Topomax and we discussed how that in itself can trigger a migraine. We decided to put him back on a small dose of Periactin to stimulate his appetite. He was on that drug before as a preventative therapy and ate very well. She also told me for the second time since we have been seeing her that she has hope for Alex's migraines to go away or at least diminish greatly after he is finished with puberty. Statistically, boys who begin to have migraines as young as he did (2 years old) seem to get rid of the headaches after all the physical changes are finished. We must be the only parents around who are praying for puberty to hurry up and start! Tomorrow is our IEP meeting and I intend to tell the school that he will not be going back next year. I do have a copy of Terry's letter as well as one from the doctor to take with me. Thanks Hoopsky for helping me to understand the other side of the coin. Although it is my understanding that the school gets extra money for kids with learning disabilities it shouldn't be as if they are losing money on the days he doesn't attend. We live in Florida and here it's all about the FCAT, THE FLORIDA COMPREHENSIVE ASSESMENT TEST. If a child passes that, it really is all that matters. I will let you all know how tomorrow goes.

Julies

As you know this year in middle school has been a nightmare for us too. I also hate my school district now. We are again having problems with them, and Andrew is on homebound. It's only a few bad apples that are causing problems. When we get it straightened out I will write more. Funny, we were at the same school last year, but had a different group of teachers. It makes all the difference.

It is VERY likely that Andrew will be going to a cyber charter school next year because of the all the problems we experienced this year. It's a shame that it has come to this. He really wants to go to his school, but I cannot deal with all of the problems and stress the public school brings on all of us. His migraines are too bad right now to think that he could possibly go back next year. The education he is getting on homebound is almost nonexistent. He gets 5 hours of instruction per week. That's all. Cyber school has got to be better than this.

The cyber school is a free public school. There are only 12 states that offer this. I'm glad I live in one of them or we would have to figure out how to homeschool.

Alison

Andrew is to start topamax soon. We haven't started yet because he had a month of feeling better, but that's over now. We are trying to get through school before we start it. I'm very concerned about lack of appetite because Andrew is only 116 lbs 5ft8in now with a very small appetite as it is. I am going to mention the periactin to my doctor once we start the topamax. Andrew took periactin for several years.

I hope that is true about boys. Andrew has had migraines since age 5. I pray that they will hurry up and go away. Believe me once puberty starts you will be among many parents who can't wait for it to be over. We thought puberty was what brought on the severe chronic migraines. We are also hoping that the end of puberty will end the severity.

Good luck with your meeting. I hope it goes well for you.

I am meeting with my school on Thursday.

Let us know how it goes.
Jean Ann

Well boy oh boy was I ever surprised at how today's meeting went! I couldn't believe how supportive everyone was as well as how much they encouraged me to home school Alex next year. It turns out that his two teachers both get migraines themselves and they were very understanding of how he feels. The issues I had with them making up work during recess were really not their faults. Although I don't agree with taking away his recess, they really had no alternative because there simply is no other time to do it. They both have before and after school clubs and activities that they are involved in and simply don't have the time to dedicate to one child. The class that Alex is in is taught by two teachers who split the day between them. One of them is always available to help during recess. We all agreed that for a child like Alex the best option is home-schooling. I went ahead and set his goals for his IEP for next year just in case he happens to get better over the summer and we decide to go back to school but I am not setting my hopes on his going back next year.

Alison

I'm so glad that your meeting went well.

It must be a huge relief for you. It's great that they were supportive of homeschooling too.

Jean Ann