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16 years of marriage, 14 with an amazing sex life. 2 years ago vascetomy, and nothing.
Now my husband can't perform at all. they put him on viagra it worked ok the first 10 -12 times, but this weekend nothing, now it doens't work either.
Just when i get to the point that i'm confident having sex and that i love it, he can't?
He won't go back to the doctors as they are the ones who did this to him.
i feel like my marriage is over. ya i can stay here but we have no connection without sex, i feel like we are just room mates.
He says it's not me but if that is the case why does this crush me and not him. He doens't seem to mind, he will just masturbate and be fine, i on the other hand miss the man i married, and am stuck here alone feeling rejected and like a loser, i lost weight bought all these stupid toys he wanted, rented fancy rooms, jumped through hoops, dressed in every piece of lingerie manufactured and nothing works for him.
HOW DO YOU GO FROM SUPREME LOVER EXTROIDINAIRE WHO MAKES YOUR WIFE FEEL LIKE A QUEEN TO CAN'T DO ANYTHING, AND NOT EVEN BEING BOTHERED BY THAT?
I'm' finding myself making little comments about it, cause i feel so hurt myself, and i can't help but lash out at him, i feel like our marriage is over. ya you can stay married without sex but there is no fun in that for me? i'm sorry to admit i like sex, and it bothers me not to have it i need to feel that physical emotional connection with my partner, and i don't not at all.
For the first time in 16 years i'm finding myself just faking it, cause it's easier than saying how awful it was really. How yes it bothered me that he has to stop and masturbate ever 3 or 4 minutes even when taking viagra?
there is no one to talk to about this , i'm alone, and he's not seeing anyone else, not a doctor not a therapist, so what option do i have? is there anything i can do, cause i'm at my whits end? i'm not buying any more lingerie or toys or porn or pills, none of it works, so anything else i'm not thinking of? Is a new man the only solution cause i'm not very comfortable with that idea either, i don't know what is worse the thought of living a miserable celebate life or divorcing a man i'm still very in love with over sex?
HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE WITH THIS? I JUST FEEL SO REJECTED, UGLY, WORTHLESS, UNNATRACTIVE, USELESS, BITCHY, AWFUL? I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO BE HAPPY WITH THE THOUGHT THAT I'LL NEVER HAVE ANY FORM OR NATURAL OR NORMAL SEX AGAIN???
I'LL HAVE TO FILL PRESCRIPTIONS, AND MAKE PLANS, AND WATCH THE CLOCK AND JUMP THROUGH HOOPS ALL TO NOT BE SATISFIED ANYWAY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M EVEN POSTING THIS BUT THE SPOUSES HAVE NO RESOURCES EVEN FEWER THAN THE ACTUAL SUFFERERS, CAUSE WE LOOK LIKE NON SUPPORTIVE HAGS IF WE SAY ANYTHING?
OH BOY I'M SO CONFUSED AND MISERABLE! I HATE THIS, I THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE HEALTHY SEX LIVES INTO THEIR 50'S? HOW'D I HEAR THAT WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN FINISH YOUR 30'S???? WHO TOLD THAT LIE??????
Hi. I know how you feel. I am 35 and my husband is 37. We have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. We used to be sex maniacs. He got a vasectomy in 2004 but we have had good sex several times since then. He told me that ever since he had the vasectomy, sex doesn't feel the same. I also lost alot of weight and trying very hard to get him to be attracted to me again sexually but nothing seems to be working. In fact, since I lost the weight, he seems to be more distant from me sexually. I am in college and he admitted to me that since I lost weight, it has crossed his mind that I could cheat on him because he thinks more men look at me now. We have talked this through and he says he is ok now but I still think that he thinks I am seeing someone in school. Or he's afraid it could happen because I look better. This is my second semester. My first semester he was fine but that is when I weighed 135 pounds. Now I weigh around 115. He changed alot since I lost weight. I thought it would be for the better but I'm not so sure anymore. I asked him if he wants me to put the weight back on but he said no and that he thinks I look incredibally sexy now. I don't understand it. If he thinks I look incredibally sexy now, then why is it that our sex life was better when I was heavier? Don't get me wrong. He is wonderful to me and I know he loves me with his whole heart but sexually it doesn't seem like he wants me. He puts his arms around me everytime I get down about it and tells me not to worry and that it's not because I don't look sexy. Even after 10 years of marriage, he still opens doors for me and does anything for me. When I attempt to open a door he gets disappointed because he wanted to open it for me. I know he loves me but I still want him to be sexually attracted to me. It's part of marriage. I actually had to get put on medication a while back because my libido was very low. Now that I am taking something, I want it all of the time and he wants it but can't perform now. I never thought he would have a sexual problem because I couldn't keep up with him at one point and now he can't keep up with me. We just can't seems to get it right anymore. I want it to be like it used to be. So, I sympathize with you and please be assured you are not alone. This happens to more women than you may think. I have been doing some research on the internet and I am surprised at how much this happens. So, hang in there. Good luck!! Mary
I also feel very lost. I have been with a man for 4 years and we have never had intercourse. He has diabetes. I feel like it is me also. We used to do other things but recently we don't do anything. I feel terribly lonely. We are talking about trying the pump. He has tried every pill there is before I came along and nothing worked. It is very hard to cope with.
It isn't us ~ it isn't that they don't fancy us or we don't turn them on, it is something that is going on in their minds. I think something has happened to shatter their confidence and it's now become a vicious circle. They are scared of not being able to perform, so they now avoid it, so they can't "fail" again.
Men believe that if they aren't performing in the bedroom then they are not men (which we all know is NOT true).
I was in a car accident a few years ago on the M42 and since then I have not driven on a motorway or dual carriageway because I am scared that I am going to die the next time I go on a motorway/Dual carriageway. I still drive on "normal" roads though. So now I spend my life avoiding going on a motorway/dual carriageway. So I can understand to a certain degree why men are so scared of getting close to us, because they are scared of not being able to perform.
They shut themselves off from us, so they don't have to face their fears.
I agree with Grants Girl. It's not us. It's them and their own issues.
Not Amy, when I read your post, I accidentally thought I wrote it I feel the exact same way.
The sexless hag title is best reserved for women who don't care, or even hope, that their man has ED so that they don't have to complete the "chore" they call "sex." The horny and frustrated women on this board are probably all hot, sexual, and loving. We've all bought the outfits, the underwear, the toys, (heck even the wigs). We are open to try nearly any position and fantasy. Your man is lucky to have you.
You are a young and vital woman who is entitled to have a satisfying sex life. If sex is really not important to your husband, then he should be gracious enough to let you have sex outside the marriage.
You should not be taken for granted and by standing up for yourself, you are not being bitchy, you are simply preventing future bitterness.
Well I even phoned Grant's doctor and told him the problem but he said that unless Grant went to see him there was nothing he could do and Grant WON'T go to his doctor!
hi Don’t make your self upset because it’s a common situation. Men’s health diseases like sexual disorder, prostate cancer, erection problem all these are type of erectile dysfunction. To get over these issue people need to eat fresh healthy diet, it can also reduced by exercise and by leaving smoking and drinking. Drugs are also helpful to get over from these types of diseases.
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