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I have never been to this site but I'm very lost and I have no one to talk to about this. I am only eighteen years old and yes I do know and believe that I am going through changes that may affect the way I feel.This, although, is not the case. I have recurring headaches everyday, pain killers won't take away. I feel anxiety that I have never felt before. It's not myself. I cry every night and even during the day. Sometimes even for no reason. I get angry at things that I shouldn't, and I feel guilty for everything that I do or argue about whether it's right or wrong. I feel that there is no purpose in my life and that I'm heading to a life full of depression and loneliness. These are feelings that just will not go away and I can't take it much longer! Im sick of being sad. Now that I am older and out of school, I wonder what happens next. I feel as though life is just repetitive and there is nothing to look forward to. I must add into the picture my boyfriend who I have been with for three years and am now living with and struggling with. I make our relationship stressful and I am the reason we fight. There is something wrong with me. I need some sort of medication to keep me from getting so angry and so anxious and paranoid about things. I never want to go out or have fun or do anything but stay at home. I work two jobs from am to pm. I feel as though I don't want to be here anymore. I am wanting to go, but yet, I may be no longer willing to stay. I just want to feel happiness again. Everything that could possibly be a happy moment in my life, I turn into something bad. I always have thoughts running through my head about the past, the future, and why i'm so horrible as well as my life. I don't know where to go from here. I need someone to talk to but I can't afford therapy, and I don't want to speak to family and friends. I need to speak to someone who doesn't know me and who can understand me. Please help!
It definitely sounds like you are have a very difficult time. I know therapy seems unaffordable, but there are many alternatives to paying a private therapist. Most cities have community mental health centers where services are either free or low fee. Additionally, most universities with clinical psychology graduate programs have clinics with sliding fee scales (as low as $5 an hour). I would encourage you to look into these options.
