Depression

Hello -

I need support and some advice, please. My boyfriend just got into pretty serious car accident around the end of March. He was in a shuttle van en route to the airport and all 9 passengers were injured. Thank god he wasn't the most injured - two of them are still in the hospital. He sustained neck, shoulder, and knee injuries. He's doing physical therapy and takes painkillers. He completely isolated himself for a week right after the accident happened and didn't want to talk to anybody, even with me and his family. Then, little by little his spirits seemed to be coming back as he was feeling better. However, there were times when he would tell me that he feels anxious when he's out. He'd like to go out but as soon as he's out, he'd rather go home. Then he also said that he feels anxious when driving, especially in bad weather (there was snow and rain that affected the roads prior to the accident). He has also lost his sex drive and just prefers to lay around the house. He hates the fact that he can't go back to work yet and that he has to complete endless paperwork - medical, disability, his lawsuit against the company and a criminal case against the driver. He sometimes said to me that he's depressed but yet he doesn't want to seek counseling or therapy. He has become very distant and won't even kiss, hug or cuddle me. When I talked to him about why he doesn't want to kiss or cuddle, he said he just doesn't want to be touched. He'd rather be alone, he said. Whenever I ask him why he pushes me away, all he says is he doesn't know, he just wants to be alone. He said he doesn't even miss kissing or cuddling and that he doesn't even think about these feelings. All he knows is that he's depressed. I really want to help him but it really hurts me so much that he doesn't want to show affection anymore. Sometimes I feel like he will be better of without me since he doesn't seem like he cares. Even when he told me that he loves me and cares about me and that he wants to be with me, it's just so hard to believe when his actions say otherwise. I don't know what else to do. I want to be with him and have fun as a couple and I want him back to normal. I want to support him and be with him but it makes it really hard when he's just there sitting by himself and ignoring me. Please help, any advice will be appreciated.

hi wow it sounds like he is suffering from post traumatic stress diorder, which is common after a traumatic event...get someone, primarily his doctors to get him into some form of therapy.....the longer he waits the harder it will be.....sometimes an event like that can trigger other previous trumatic events that have been suppressed for years.....be patient and loving but get him the help he needs hope this helps

Dont worry, I almost have the same problem. After getting married my husband was in a car accident that same month!That was back in November, He just came home last month(May). He has burns over the top half of his body and cant even feed himself anymore. Its hard to listen to him cry about everything. He has never been the type of person to complain, but now thats all he does. I dont cut his food right, The house is too cold, the tv isnt loud enough and even though I take care of him, work full time and take care of our 2 year old son I dont clean the house every night like he would like..... I know that its not him, he's just so upset about everything that he find's anything to be mad about. When I go to the store he has to come....but he wont get out the car. He tells me to shop fast while my car run's with the ac on and him inside. So dont think you're by yourself. Just tough it out if you truley love him. It's hard but you have to think of how hard it is for him.I'm currently looking into taking him to support group. Of course I'm not going to tell him until we get there, because he wont go if I did. Think positive and laugh. Better day await.