Depression

My name is April and Im 26 years old. I have dealt with server depression since i was 12. Years of abuse from other children as well as adults. My parenst were the best. They everything that a child ever wanted. Now I am having to face a bigger challenge in my life. My depression has taken a turn for teh worst. I am giving custody to my mother because it has become wosre. my parents asked why i cant be a parent right now. It took along time for me to explain a little of what i could. The thing with my depression is I am still trying to find ways to help in reduce. At times i know Im not wining. I had to give up the best things in my life to hopefully get it taken care of. Everyone tells me Im not a bad parent I jsut need help. I am trying. but trying to explain this to those who are on the outside think other wise and it makes it that much more harder. I love my children with my heart soul and body. but i cant give them the emotions they crave. and it hurts me. I know what Im doing to them so I did what was best for them so i can get the help i need. my question is how in the world can i explain to those who dont understand what Im going through. They think Im taking a break. Im not. not in any way possible. Please help me. I dont know what to do on that aspect anymore.

I too was abused as a child. By adults and other kids. I never thought I would have kids because of it. Driving past a school could bring feelings of incredible sadness.

Luckily, I did end up having two amazing boys who are the light of my life. I cannot imagine life without them.

I also struggle at times with feeling so depressed that I don't think I'm there emotionally for them. This of couurse makes me feel worse and I spiral downward. The key is to stop the cycle before it starts.

So Upset, I hope you are in treatment, seeing a good psychiatrist and psychotherapist. You are NOT a bad parent. You a person who is ill. I repeat you are NOT a bad parent.

Your children love you and you love them. You and your kids are lucky to have your mom to help in times of need. Isn't that what you would do for your kids? this isn't a bad thing.

Keep your chin up. Force yourself to get up and exercise (it really does help.) Stay in treatment and stay connected. This is a good starting point but see if there are groups you can join. Sometimes your county health service or insurance company can make a recomendation.

When you see your kids give them a big hug and tell them how much you love them. They will remember that. It will lift their spirits and yours as well.

Take care and stay connected,

Maureen

62152684_1cfcc6ff94_m.jpg (34 KB, 0 downloads)