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Hello I am new here. I have been depressed my whole life, people have not treated me well even when I was a child. My family is ridiculously not close, especially with me. They don't care to hear anything I have to say, they interupt me when I try to talk about my problems or feelings and turn it all around on their problems. I don't feel like I love them and I don't feel like they really love me. And like with everyone else I know they say they love me but they show no care for me, I could say I broke my foot and they wouldn't even say anything about it to me. I never have had anyone to give me advice, nor to comfort me when I cry. In fact my family called me a crybaby all the time. When I was sick I was told to quit whining, or to shut up. Also I have bad teeth and they still say things about them, even though I have gotten them fixed a little and they look a lot better now. My friends growing up made fun of me and picked on me, so did their parents and other relatives. Most of my teachers and even the school secretary did the same thing. I moved away from that town about nine years ago to live with my boyfriend at that times house. He never listened to my problems or showed any care for me, and the only attention he gave me was when he wanted sex. I met a girl who was dating his best friend and her and I became close, but then when I left him she slowly quit returning my calls and coming to see me. I haven't heard from her in almost a year now, and it plays into my depression because it seems everytime I make a friend they like me at first then within a year they suddenly stop talking to me, and I never know why. Sometimes they hate me and when I would ask why they would never have an answer. She and I were best friends for five years, I thought so anyway. We had a lot of fun together and it felt like a real friendship that would last forever. So now I have been with my new boyfriend for four years and for the first three years things were going great. We had parties and were always doing something together. But now he has grown distant, he dosen't want to hear about anything bad. I told him I cry everyday and he said "I'm Sorry." and left the room. He told me once that he dosen't like to talk about emotions. He dosen't compliment me, even when I fish for compliments. He never consoles me when I am sad and he never gives me advice. I work alone on the graveyard shift and that is very ok by me because if I am around people then I seem to screw things up somehow and they all hate me. So that is my loneliness problem that depresses me. I am also severly depressed about animal suffering. I try to be an activist and do all I can to help but I have gained so much knowledge about what is happening to so many animals of all species that I can't even handle to hear about things anymore. I feel so bad for them and I feel even worse that I can't help them and that most people cannot see or care what is happening out there. So I try to stay away from the news and other things that I may hear about animal abuse going on. And that helps me a little. I try to get on some animal rights forums and I just don't feel like I fit in, I have tried other places also. I feel like I want to die most days, I WONT DO THAT THOUGH,I couldn't do that especially to my animals that I have. Everything I do is always wrong, everyone thinks I am stupid (I have been told this hundreds of times. Just a few weeks ago I told my boyfriend that everyone thinks I am stupid and he replied to that "Well you say a lot of dumb things." And that was all he said. I have my dogs though, they can sense my emotions and one of them lays her head on my chest when I cry and she licks my tears away and makes me feel better. I just don't understand why people have been so cruel to me, everywhere I go. I believe here lately that I must have a really bad personality, I can't make friends, and the few I do always disapear. I have no drive to do things I used to like to do, I used to love to read and I can't even do that anymore. I used to be able to handle my depression, back when people used to come around me and bring fun into my life. But I don't get that anymore, I rarely have fun anymore. My smiles are fake and so is my laughter. I really feel like nobody cares, it seems so true no matter how much I don't want it to be. I am tired of people being mean to me, I am tired of nobody listening to me, and nobody caring about my feelings. I don't even know what to do anymore, maybe writing all this will make me feel better. Thanks to any responses, I know this is a long post! The bad thing is I could have A LOT more to write. But I will end it for now.
Your post sounds so sad. I am very sorry. I could write something similar except for one thing. The one thing is that I am on medication. You didn't mention if you were. It sound as if you really need to get to a doctor and talk to him about how you are feeling. It takes awhile but medication can change your whole world. Even if you have been on some in the past try again. They have many different kinds and they don't all work for everybody. Please help yourself in this way. about ten days after being on the meds you should start to feel better. Then some counseling might be helpful. In counseling you can get help with social skills so that you can come to understand more about getting along with people.
Praying that you can feel some peace and get some help. Loretta
Hey I am sorry to hear what you go through. I went through alot of the same stuff you have. I grew up with a family that didnt give a damn,and still dont. They are ashamed of me cause i didnt turn out how they wanted me too. Anyway, I have been with the same man for five years, and the first four years have been great. This past year though, hasnt been so. We distanced alot. I have recently been diagnosed with depression and a panic disorder that leaves me out of work cause im terrifed of havin a panic attack at work. He dont understand and just brings me down about it. He acts like i do this on purpose, like im making it up for an excuse not to work. I just recently started on celexa, it seems to be workn so far. I strongly suggest you go to the doc and start on a med, it really helps! If you ever wana talk more, i am here. i am a great listenter and will try to help u as best i can. Good luck and remember life is preicous no matter what others think. You are not alone. Talk to ya later. Take care.
Originally posted by Kraell: Hello I am new here. I have been depressed my whole life, people have not treated me well even when I was a child. My family is ridiculously not close, especially with me. They don't care to hear anything I have to say, they interupt me when I try to talk about my problems or feelings and turn it all around on their problems. I don't feel like I love them and I don't feel like they really love me. And like with everyone else I know they say they love me but they show no care for me, I could say I broke my foot and they wouldn't even say anything about it to me. I never have had anyone to give me advice, nor to comfort me when I cry. In fact my family called me a crybaby all the time. When I was sick I was told to quit whining, or to shut up. Also I have bad teeth and they still say things about them, even though I have gotten them fixed a little and they look a lot better now. My friends growing up made fun of me and picked on me, so did their parents and other relatives. Most of my teachers and even the school secretary did the same thing. I moved away from that town about nine years ago to live with my boyfriend at that times house. He never listened to my problems or showed any care for me, and the only attention he gave me was when he wanted sex. I met a girl who was dating his best friend and her and I became close, but then when I left him she slowly quit returning my calls and coming to see me. I haven't heard from her in almost a year now, and it plays into my depression because it seems everytime I make a friend they like me at first then within a year they suddenly stop talking to me, and I never know why. Sometimes they hate me and when I would ask why they would never have an answer. She and I were best friends for five years, I thought so anyway. We had a lot of fun together and it felt like a real friendship that would last forever. So now I have been with my new boyfriend for four years and for the first three years things were going great. We had parties and were always doing something together. But now he has grown distant, he dosen't want to hear about anything bad. I told him I cry everyday and he said "I'm Sorry." and left the room. He told me once that he dosen't like to talk about emotions. He dosen't compliment me, even when I fish for compliments. He never consoles me when I am sad and he never gives me advice. I work alone on the graveyard shift and that is very ok by me because if I am around people then I seem to screw things up somehow and they all hate me. So that is my loneliness problem that depresses me. I am also severly depressed about animal suffering. I try to be an activist and do all I can to help but I have gained so much knowledge about what is happening to so many animals of all species that I can't even handle to hear about things anymore. I feel so bad for them and I feel even worse that I can't help them and that most people cannot see or care what is happening out there. So I try to stay away from the news and other things that I may hear about animal abuse going on. And that helps me a little. I try to get on some animal rights forums and I just don't feel like I fit in, I have tried other places also. I feel like I want to die most days, I WONT DO THAT THOUGH,I couldn't do that especially to my animals that I have. Everything I do is always wrong, everyone thinks I am stupid (I have been told this hundreds of times. Just a few weeks ago I told my boyfriend that everyone thinks I am stupid and he replied to that "Well you say a lot of dumb things." And that was all he said. I have my dogs though, they can sense my emotions and one of them lays her head on my chest when I cry and she licks my tears away and makes me feel better. I just don't understand why people have been so cruel to me, everywhere I go. I believe here lately that I must have a really bad personality, I can't make friends, and the few I do always disapear. I have no drive to do things I used to like to do, I used to love to read and I can't even do that anymore. I used to be able to handle my depression, back when people used to come around me and bring fun into my life. But I don't get that anymore, I rarely have fun anymore. My smiles are fake and so is my laughter. I really feel like nobody cares, it seems so true no matter how much I don't want it to be. I am tired of people being mean to me, I am tired of nobody listening to me, and nobody caring about my feelings. I don't even know what to do anymore, maybe writing all this will make me feel better. Thanks to any responses, I know this is a long post! The bad thing is I could have A LOT more to write. But I will end it for now.
I also love animals a lot and cannot understand it when people don't think tooo much about their welfare. YOu have very good friends in your dogs, I feel. Do you think you should see a counsellor, for the depression that you are going though right now? I also had a dog once, unfortunately, we had to give it away to some friends of ours. However, that is just my problem.
Posts: 8 | Location: India | Registered: 08-21-2007
I have lived such a similar life - childhood, boyfriend, etc. In my experiences, my recovery went through lots of time and lots of trial and error. The best thing was to care for myself and be as gentle with myself as possible. Everyday is a new day to learn HOW to care for ourselves, in ways that our family never did. I changed where and who I sought my support. I changed how I live. It doesn't take away the painful feelings, but I'm in a better place now in my life than I was before.
I have had depression my whole life.I am having a hard time now.When i was 6 i started gaining weight and have been over weight my whole life.I was made fun of.I had painic attaches at 7 but noone knew what they were.I was the oldest of 6 so I had a lot of responceablity from a young age.and a sister who at 2yrs threw temper fits for attention which she got from both grandmothers and my dad who is 80 now and still baby's her my mom is getting just as bad.I live with my parents to help out financially and other ways.The only problem is she lives there to.Shes 47 next month never had a job and never lived on her own.She runs everything and trys to run my life.She throws her temper tantrams daily more than once a day shes always at me running me down and if I try to stand up for myself I get yelled at 15 I had a nervous breakdown and spent 3 months in a state hospital were I was mistreated.I still have nightmares.I have no friends except through letters.My friends all they wanted was what they could get from me.so i'm no longer friends with them.Family is just as bad,My niece won't call or bring my great nephews to see us because she owes me money.She'd say she was coming to pay me and never show up.Between her,one of my sisters and my sisters ex they owe me over $400 now I need it and can't get it.I always wanted to get marryed have kids and a home which never happened.Now I'm to old for kids.I'll be 49 on oct.23 Plus the dr. told me years ago my sister was killing me.The stressI have a lot of health problems mostly inherited.Depression runs on both sides of my family.My sister who picks on me has manic depression but won't admit it.I also have anxiety and panic attaches.I'm a diabetic which works on my nerves,I'm going through menopause which works on my nerves and when I pms I feel like I'm going to scream.I have lots of other health problems plus I have ostroarthritus in my back like my mom and I think I'm getting it in my hands'shoulders,knees,and I have something wrong with my legs.I,m in constance pain.Which adds to my depression My sister has caused me to no longer enjoy things I use to.I'm so lonely and depressed She doesn;t like seeing me happy she always keeps at me till I cry.Both my parent's are on walkers which I probably will be.I have the diabetic eye disease and have problems with my eyes.I don't drive so I'm stuck home most days>i take a taxi to the store which gets expensive.Some times like today I ride in town with my neighbor when she goes back to lunch at 12 she works at our courthouse which is across from our library so I can use the computer.Well I have to go I hope you have a good day.
Hello all. I am 16 years old and I’ve had depression since I was 10 for no apparent reason. I’m a little young and immature so bare with me here. At least I am honest. I am loved unconditionally by many (mostly my horse) and for that I’m grateful.
I’d like to let everyone who feels no one cares about them (‘cept maybe their therapists) know that I care. I honestly care from the bottom of my heart. I may not KNOW what you are going through, but I can do my best to try to understand. I can’t believe how much you all have had to deal with. Every one of you is a brave individual and don’t you forget it. I’m in the process of reading all your stories. Therefore, I would also like to add my own story.
My parents love me with the force of an angry herd of elephants (as in “Ahhh! I am drowning in love!”). But when it comes to moments of depression and deep introspection, their general response is “...I’m sorry, cupcake. Would you like a grilled cheese sandwich?” They truly don’t mean to distance themselves from me when I am gushing out deep dark thoughts. It’s just something everyone in our family is famous for (including myself). We love to party, we flee from the mere thought of funerals.
Both Mumsy (my mother) and Dadsy (my father) had severe depression as children. My grandmother, The Witch, abused my poor Dadsy. Mum’s mother had to juggle the needs of four hyperactive children and couldn’t help her eldest daughter. Therefore, they were left untreated but managed to survive somehow.
Now I too have depression. I am on medication and in counseling. My parents had good cause to be sad. I don’t. So I feel like an incapable, demanding twit and wish this would just disappear. That is what is in my heart.
Good luck to all of you and know you are not alone!
Posts: 1 | Location: Who Knows? | Registered: 12-27-2007
Many of us with depression have similar stories. It is a very lonely disease. Not many people who don't suffer with depression understand how it can affect those of us who do. My family believes that if I would just get a job all my problems would be solved. They think I'm just a drama queen who whines and cries all the time for attention. I don't have much contact with them for my own sake. They make me feel guilty and more depressed. I don't have many friends either. Other people don't like being around depressives. We bring down the mood. So I live alone, except for my two dogs and one cat, and have very little social interaction with anyone other than my therapist and my case worker from the Mental Health Organization in my town. Meds help. Without them I'm sure I wouldn't have survived this long, but they don't keep my moods even like I would like. There doesn't seem to be a real cure for my depression, but I keep trudging along hoping for a real life someday.
I couldn't help but be moved by your letter. It reminds me a lot of what things had been for me. I too was pretty much at my wits end but then things began to change for the better. Things had gotten so bad I just wanted to go home after work and sit in front of the tv despite i had a family. It's easy in this world to let things get a person down. way down. I do understand. I still have to struggle with that compulsion from time to time but as i look back on the way things used to be, i can tell there has been a big transformation in my life. I hope you can find the same peace too.
I was searching google for 'everyone thinks i am stupid" and this came up. I have felt this way my whole life. It gets to the point that I question everyone around me (in my head) and think that everyone hates me. I wish so badly that I didn't feel this way, but I can distinctly remember feeling this way my entire life, well at least since I can remember. One of my earliest memories was me crying alone in my room and deciding that I needed to kill myself because everyone hated me. I was five. I have never done through with actually trying, but the thought of killing myself pre-occupies several hours of my life every day. I am 32 years old and am married to a wonderful woman and have a new son, but I cannot shake this awful empty, soul sucking feeling that everyone who spends any time with me at all thinks that I am a complete idiot and for some reason just doesn't like me. I wish everyday to finally find somewhere I fit in and never do. I feel alone all the time. Your post makes sense to me. What can we do to become more likeable, more happy, whatever...
hey there...reach out and gain more friends! Don't confine yourself to people who doesn't understand you...there are a million people out there who would love and like you for who you are you are no walking contradiction...no one is. We feel neglected and alone coz we have a mindset that we are of no use but in fact we are the ones criticizing ourselves. Live out in the sun! Don't mind what everyone says and dont let your negative self win you over...You have more control over your happiness dont let anyone else take it away from you hope this helps. Have a blessed day!
Dear Kraell, I too am sorry to hear about your relationship problems. Try to be positive and try to preserve what you do have. I have lost my family to divorce recently. I was married for 18 yrs and have 3 very young children that are gone with their mother and her new man. I have no local family, I work for myself, by myself and spend a tremendous amount of time in solitude, deeply depressed. I live to spend time with my children. You are not the only alone. I don't know about the maturity of the people in your past but perhaps, in time you will meet mature people whom will accept you for who you are. Be thankful you have what you have. Your pets and boyfriend. You have much compared to many. I know many solitary people with no one at all in their lives. Hang in there. You must hang in there and perservere through this learning process of life. This season of life you are going through. I send Love and I said a little prayer for you.
you are no walking contradiction...no one is. We feel neglected and alone coz we have a mindset that we are of no use but in fact we are the ones criticizing ourselves. Live out in the sun! Don't mind what everyone says and dont let your negative self win you over...You have more control over your happiness dont let anyone else take it away from you 
