Depression

My husband just started a new job 3 weeks ago, and has been gone for that long for training. He will be home from training in 2 1/2 weeks. He is missing us (the boys and I) terribly and calls me 10-20 times a day. He is having a hard time sleeping in the hotel, and even has taken Ambien which didn't work! He says when he lays down his heart starts punding and he has a hard time breathing. I think he lays down and thinks about how important it is for him to get through the training and succeed because his income is the only income right now, and his anxiety level sky rockets. Also he is worried because he took a $30,000 a year paycut when he took this job. He has tried all the remidies and everything that the family and others have suggested, I just hope he can do something to find a way to sleep at night! I know he can get through this training, he just needs to relax and do it. I am just feeling so helpless and lost as to how to help him! My depression has gotten worse since this has started too.

Hey Becky! I'm glad you joined. This is isis/Debbie. I hope things get better with your husband.

What has helped me tremendously has been believing in God and that when we have faith we can overcome depression. It takes a lot of time, the right medication, prayers, and the strength to motivate yourself to do a little more each day. Please ask your husband and pray together and try to get along and understand what he is going through so make things easier at home. Pamper him a little. Remember that money is not everything. Mental health is very important.

My, husband is 31 years old,he lost his job obout a year ago and,he is been puting application on line almost everyday,and I am gone m-f for about 8 hours a day, and he is alone all day he call me maybe about 10 time aday when I am working,and there is days that he is depress and that he feel like he is worth less and I don't know what to do to help him with his depression we put our faith on the Lord and he does not take any mediaction for it becouse we dont him to depend on drugs. can you please help me. I am just feeling so helpless and lost as to how to help him

BK2B-
It sounds like your husband is suffering from situational anxiety. And, I think that setting some limits may actually be helpful for him. I don't think that his calling you 10-20 times a day is helping him at all. I think that talking once a day before training and once a day to tell the kids and you goodnight is plenty. Even if he doesn't necessarily agree to this, you don't have to answer the phone every time he calls. If you only answer at the specific times you agree on (or, if necessary you tell him), he'll eventually figure it out. Once he gets training behind him and settles into his job, he'll likely settle in and feel much better.
To Laura, antidepressants are not evil! Nor are they habit forming. Your husband will not become dependent on them. Please have him talk to his doctor as soon as possible. Yes, absolutely, prayer is essential. But, medication can be very helpful for him. In addition, he would likely benefit from therapy. If you don't know where to find a therapist, try www.goodtherapy.org. They have a directory of therapists who are screened. You should be able to find someone in your area your husband can go see. It is imperative that he get into some kind of treatment.
Well, good luck to both of you! I'll be thinking about you!

When I get really anxious I need to take stronger sleep aids. My doc gave me ambien in combination with trazadone which was just the right cocktail to knock me out for a good night sleep. He should check with his doctor again. He may not be on a strong enough dose for this period he is going through.

I have the perfect article for you. Check out Mayo Clinic's depression blog at http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-blog/MY00151. The article is: "Managing depression by understanding anxiety." I hope this helps. I do some writing for Mayo Clinic (though not for any of their blogs) and know they're information to be solid and well-researched. I hope your husband feels better.