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Hi, I'm new to the site and I found it just in time. I've already had a major depressive episode complete with a hospital stay and a suicide attempt and I'm terrified of slipping back into it. I really want to talk to other people who know what I'm going through.
Hi Ay, I know exactly what you are going through. If you are still feeling ok, try not to think about 'what ifs', even though I know you can't help but wonder. Enjoy where you are right now, and if you do start slipping, there is help out there. I should take my own advise...You can't help but be afraid of experiencing something that was terrible. It's always a possibility, but that doesn't mean it's a guarantee that you will slip. Treasure the good right now, and do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy. That's all you can do, so it's ok to relax a little. I hope this was of some help to you....
I am also scared of relapsing. I had a horrible depression episode earlier this year. It was the most unbelievable, terrifying thing to go through. I've been on medication for about 6 months and it's turned me completely around. They might take me off of it a year after my diagnosis (this march), and I've read about the amount of relapses after being taken off medication. Sometimes the idea of being back in that place in my life makes me want to cry. But I do know thinking "what if" doesn't make things better (yeah, its what got me into this problem in the first place). I take everything literally day by day. Since going through depression, I can judge my moods well enough to notice if I were to slip back in. I think that's the best thing to do. Pay attention. And if you're not well enough to, ask a parent or friend, wife/husband or a boyfriend/girlfriend to monitor your behaviors. Even if you can't tell if you're relapsing, the people around you will notice your mood change. And since it's been detected and hopefully treated before, it'll be easy to distinguish this time. I've made sure that everyone who is close to me knows how to deal with my depression, anxiety attacks, etc, if they were ever to reappear. I know during the time of my depression I couldn't take care of myself, so I asked others to help me.
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