Make a connection, ask a question, share a concern, give advice or just chat. Our message boards connect you with a community of people who understand where you’re coming from and what you’re going through.
Hi, I am new here. I am 30, and have hit rock bottom. after I had my youngest daughter, I had a lot of pain, and could not hardly take care of my 2 girls.. Finally at 24 I had a hysterectomy. The pain went away, but depression followed. I gained quite a bit of weight(went from a size 5 to a 13) after the surgery, and to this day cannot stand to look at myself, or for that matter let my husband see me. I cannot even be intimate with him anymore. I just feel trapped, like I am alone. I work for my parents as a farmer/ assessor, so I work only with them and meet no one. I have no friends, and it just seems like I go from work to home. We are financially struggling, so we go no where. I can't seem to get myself to ant to do anything with my kids. Everything they do seems to annoy me, so I just go to bed. I am on meds, but still having problems. I have terrible insurance, so I cannot afford much help. I just feel like I am a failure as a wife and mother. My husband tells me to just stop being depressed, but I can't! I hate how I look, how I feel, and who I am. I sometimes feel my family would be better off without me. I have even tried overdosing on pain meds, but I never seemed to take enough. I am just looking for some support.
Well I'm a newbie here too, thought you could use a helping hand tonight after reading your post. I'm a 28 yr old "stepmom" and "wife" struggling like you. I lost my job in September and are working a temp job without benefits so I have no insurance either. I was lucky enough to find a great therapist while I did have insurance that is kind enough to allow me to continue my therapy out of pocket - sliding scale so it's not something like $100/hr like most start at. Something to think about, look for a therapist in your area that is willing to take you on a similar plan...it's worth a shot
You have to remind yourself this isn't just a few bad days of blues it's depression, it's a disorder. One thing I have to remind myself is that I can't expect others not suffering to understand or empathize with my day to day struggle. I used to get po'd at everyone like why can't anyone understand me - why don't you get it?? Problem is, people without this disorder don't understand how depression feels. It's physically painful at times, hard to feel motivated to function at times. I tried for a few years to stuff it down and suppress my emotions using things like weed thinking it would ease my pains...guess what, it made it worse..I've never felt so isolated or rock bottom then I did back then.
You eventually will make a decision about how serious you are about recovery and make changes because you'll come to a point where you don't feel any other choice. I've been suicidal, I've tried to od myself on pain meds and everyday since I was released from the hospital and probably till the day I die, I see the disappointment in my mothers and brothers faces that I gave up on myself. Nothing in life is worth that - you need to remain strong for your children, man yeah they don't get it but your kids need you - need you healthy regardless.
Do this for them if nothing else, hang in there be tough and find a professional out there and begin to heal. Also, look online - many drug manufacturers have next to nothing prescription plans for antidepressants...after consulting a therapist of course. I wish you the best of luck in the new year, god bless and remember youre never alone.
