Depression

I'm a 22 year old college student. I'm majoring in nursing, and I'll graduate this year. I've been depressed for years, but nothing traumatic has happened to me that I should feel this way. I'm just looking for someone who's on the same level as I am.

Hi,

I have been searching online for dp support for a while and this post is exactly what I've been looking for. I am also 22 and a University student studying engineering, I will also be graduating this year (hopefully...) I have been depressed/suicidal on and off for the last year after the break-up of a long term relationship but I have had depressed feelings for the last couple of years. Apart from my r'ship ending nothing terribly traumatic has happened to me, I just don't understand how my life got to this point, my friends and family keep telling me I have alot going for me but I just don't see it this way, recently it has got much more difficult to try and keep making myself feel better and deal with my problems. A few months ago I had a complete break-down infront of all my friends so I decided to start counselling and have been taking A/D's for the last 3 weeks. It has helped a bit but everything still seems very difficult and if anything my feelings have got worse. It's good to know someone else seems to feel the same as me...Have you been taking medication or anything to help? How do u feel about the big step of graduating? (i'm kinda worried about it now tbh)

Hi

I am 25 years old and I often feel depressed. Like you, nothing traumatic has happened in my life but over the last few years I have found it very difficult to deal with things in my life. Do you get depressed about certain things??

I worry about everything - uni/college, relationships, friendships, me health, my future. For example; I am a law student and am in my final year. I have always put a lot of pressure on myself in relation to grades and exam results but lately it has gotten worse. I recently did some important exams and due to illness I dont feel like they went very well. I dont get the results till 5th May but I am constantly worrying about them. It has gotten to the point where I wake up in the morning and they are the first thing that I think about and during the day and at night I run different scenarios through my head about what might happen if I fail the exams (My job at the end of my course depends on me passing!). I literally feel like I am driving myself crazy!

I have really good friends and I have a boyfriend but none of them understand. They all say i will do well in my exams but its not just that I worry about. My boyfriend thinks that I like to worry cos I always have to have something to be negative about but I cant help it! Do you know what I mean??

I never used to be like this - I used to be pretty care free but during my 20's things have only gotten more difficult. I always had a life plan - I want to have a career and a family but i feel like im never get either. My life just isnt going the way I wanted it to and I dont know how to change where I am heading.

I am not suicidal (and I hope your not either), I might not even say I am depressed. But I have days where I find it very difficult to deal with things in my life. Today has been a hard day for me and instead of going out with my friends i have stayed in to be miserable by myself! I think we all have hard times and it can only help to talk about things with people. Do you not have someone you could talk to about how you are feeling? I dont like people to know how I feel so no-one I know knows anything like this about me. Sometimes its easier to talk to a stranger about things.

Sorry this has been such a long post - hope to hear back from you

Take care

xx

Hi Vics,

I'm not really sure of specific things that make me depressed but my feelings are definately worse sometimes than others. Weekends are always really tough, all my friends go out and have a great time while I just want to stay in by myself. they always invite me out but recently I've just become really anxious in crowds of people or clubs. I can never seem to enjoy myself as I've got a constant voice in my head telling me i'm not good enough or worrying about what other people think of me and worrying about what to say. It feels like every monday I try to re-build my confidence and make my mood better, only to go right back to square one the next sunday. I never used to be like this though, I'd always have a great time on nights out and just talk to anyone and not worry about EVERYTHING.

I'm sure you will do really well in your exam results, from my experience they never went as badly as i thought, at times i've been absolutely convinced I failed but ended up doing prity well. and anyway, their over now, you can't change the results so there's no point in worrying about them. Did you talk to your college about personal circumstance/illness, they may be able to take that into account when marking?

I know exactly what you mean about running different scenarios through my head. When i'm doing a piece of work I always think, I don't have enough time to do this, is this work good enough? what if..., what if... Sometimes all the thoughts just get too much and I'll lie in bed for days to avoid them. I used to drink quite alot to drown out my thoughts but that really doesn't work and I don't do that anymore. I find it useful just sitting down with a pen a paper and writing exactly what comes into my head, it gets all my thoughts down on paper and gives me a little bit of relief, i don't know if that would help you but you could try?

Recently i've just been seeing everything in a negative light, even wen friends or people give me complements I think, "why are you saying that, wots ur ulterior motive? why are u speaking to me wen I'm soo messed up" I've tried talking to my friends but they either just ignore it or tell me to wise up. It just feels like none of them understand me.

Like you I have a goal for my life but I'm just so down at the minute I feel none of my plans will ever come true and i don't want to work towards them. The only way out I can see is to move city or country so I won't be stuck in this same rut with the same old friends doing the same old stuff. It feels like they've moved on with their lives, doing new things and new groups of friends and i've just been left behind stuck in the past.

I don't think i'd ever really consider suicide, after all it's "a permanent solution to a temporary feeling" it's just that some nights I get really depressed, worried that i'm losing all my friends, I'm never going to have a new relationship, I'm never going to get my degree, I'm never going to be a success in the future. All the worries get too much and at the time the only way out I can see is to end it all.

I meet with a counsellor once a week and I talk to my mum about uni work n stuff but theres no-one I can speak to about my true feelings just like I have in this post, they wouldn't understand and I don't feel comfortable talking about that stuuf, i prefer to keep a mask on to make it look like everything is ok and I'm doing fine.

It's good you've got ur boyfriend to talk to, maybe you shud try to open up a bit more to him and let him know how low you do feel a lot of the time? in my experience ppl are much more understanding and helpful than you think they would be. maybe you could write down some of ur feelings and show it to him. The only thing I really know is that the more people I've spoken to and the more they know about my true feelings the easier it's got and the less anxious I feel. Is there anyone in college you could speak to, counsellor, year co-ordinator, tutor? they may be able to help with your workload or give more advice. Have you thought about going to see your doctor at all?

Sorry this was such a long reply too but it's been good to get my thoughts down on paper and have someone read them, sorry if it's just sounded like the rantings of a raving luinatic, lol

hope to hear from u soon,

keep well

e

p.s.

I also found the following website very useful, It gave me a much better understanding of depression, what to look out for, how to deal with it, and the personal stories are very interesting to read.

http://www.studentdepression.org/warning_signs.php

Hi everyone,

I'm 27 and have been depressed for years. I'm currently looking for a support group meetings to attend. Any suggestions around san jose area??

I hope you find any sort of help to make you feel better. I send love to you and I said a little prayer for you. I hope you can move on and not experience anymore depression. I'm not qualified for your search for like students. I'm a recently divorced guy, heartbroken from the desintegration of my 18yr marriage and my three very young children in the middle.