Depression

Hello, I suffer from anxiety and depression. I have for all of my life. I am 22 years old and of course if anyone looked at my life they would tell me that I have no reason to feel this way. I have a wonderful supportive family and my life is good. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere and I have this desire to have a social life but I end up just chatting on the computer because it is easier. I just recently met a guy off the net and after a few times hanging out he stopped talking to me. I feel very worthless at this point. Like everything I try to do is pointless because no one will ever love me. Does anyone else feel this way? I know that I need to love myself first but that seems impossible to me. Nothing I do seems to work. If someone is reading this please don't just close the window after you are done. I am feeling pretty desperate at this point not suicidal but I just want to drop out of life because it is too hard. Is there anyone out there feeling this way???

Hi Krissy,

I feel that way alot. I call it the fight or flight syndrome. I'm not really suicidal but I just want to disappear, to go somewhere, where no one knows me,where I'm not anybody's wife, mother, or anything. I just want to start life completely over. If this sounds like what you are experiencing, I'ld love to talk to you. We could be internet buddies, and help each other through it. I've been diagnosed with depression for about 15 years, and doc suspects I've had it since I was 12 years old or so.

Hi,

I'm also new here. I know you posted this message about a month ago, but today is the first day I actually attempted to look online or even consider joining a support group. What is very strange and actually prompted me to write this right away is that your message is the first one I clicked on as I was scrolling through and its almost word for word the exact feeling that I'm having. I'm 24 years old. I'm in okay health, besides the fact that I'm letting myself go in terms of working out, eating right, and cleaning myself up. My family is pretty supportive, and I have friends (although not many know what is going on). But I feel lost, confused, that my self confidence is shot. I have lost my focus, concentration, my energy to do anything. I feel slow and incompetent, just worthless all the time. I almost feel like I don't have a personality and that the more someone gets to know me they wont like me. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and I'm on meds, and I just started seeing a therapist to work some issues out, but knowing that there are people out there that feel this same way really helps. I had no idea. So if you are still looking to chat with someone I definitely am looking for an internet buddy as well. I have had the same issues with boys in the past; I don't know if they are exactly the same, but in terms of feeling worthless, and hopeless and that something is wrong with you is definitely a common feeling. In my case I always kept guys at arms length and put up a facade, so that they wouldn't really get to know me because I felt like there was nothing really to get to know. Anyways I think part of my problem that i'm starting to discover is that i've always been a very anxious person and I never really knew about it until this overwhelming feeling started to occur. I am not completely suicidal, but have definitely thought about it and attempted to start plotting it. But I'm not sure if I could ever go through with it. Anyways sorry for the long message; I know its all over the place, just kind of let everything out as it was coming into my head. But if you or anyone else reading this has these same feelings and wants to talk I'm very much in need of knowing there are other people out there. So I don't know if this helped at all, but I hope you're starting to work through things and you're getting the help you need. In the meantime if you want to talk let me know.

Thanks!

Good Morning. Smiles. Yes, others feel desperate at times. I too suffer from the desparation moments and feelings of anxiety too which I will react in ways to move outward (a flight responce), that has confused my life even more. Your family is a key for your health here. You mention the supportiveness and that is where you may hold unto. The net offers some support, but too, the net can become dangerous a place of omissions too. Many personalities and all looking for different solutions to their lives quest for answers. Trust the life of supportiveness you have provided thus far around you. This forum may or may not help, but indeed your not alone and others, like myself, from experiences may only give some solace, remind cautions although. Your never as self-worthless when you have loved ones abound and never forget that. Appreciate that fact and give a smile unto your world. There is tomorrow, another hour from now, and things can be different. Take the day as it comes and change your focus from the poor self-critic, to the simply-smiling-self inside. You will shine when loving others shines through. By example; I find self today, now, very sad as a side effect of my own depression, I'm unable to reach those that I love, that love me today, so by helping others, by giving unconditionally, I am indirectly helping to provide some comfort for myself as well. The hope that my suggestive words may as well brighten someone's day, helps to make myself feel, I'm okay and not worthless. Understand. So welcome to the new message board. Smile today.

Hi there,
I am also new here and also feeling the same way. I have a wonderful husband but I feel like I don't deserve him with the way I've been acting lately and I feel like nothing else in my life is going right. I mean, nothing is "wrong" exactly, but I feel so alone and not worth much. I even considered having a baby to help me feel better, isn't that ridiculous? Anyways, if anyone wants to talk, I'd really appreciate it.

Fight or Flight...that's me as well. Just found this site today. I'm 34 and suffer from depression which I have been denying and self medicating for years (prescriptions that are not mine and for the last year occasional cocaine use)For some reason the last year I have become a train wreck. I have moved 5 times at least (once to an island for one day, decided I didn't want to be there and flew back after trying to overdose) I have also taken what i thought would be a lethal dose of presciptions on more than one occasion. I don't understand what is wrong with me and why now I am getting worse. I either make a spontanious decision (such as moving) without thinking it through but feeling like I need to save myself and this is the only way or I lay down and do nothing. I have avoided friends for the past year and only feel comfortable under the influence of something in social situations. I don't think my depression comes from my use of drugs but feel that my dug use is due to my depression....I guess maybe they feed each other.

I started taking Paxil CR a week ago and hope for the best. I am in so much unexplainable pain that I haven't expressed it to much extent with anyone. I feel weak and wonder why I can't handle things like others. I feel guilt for what I have put my family through and continue to put them through.

I know this post is self absorbed...it's hard to see through this mess and see anyone else.