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I am married with 7 kids and a wonderful husband and I still feel all alone. I was diagnosed with bipolar in 1994 2 months after I married my second husband. Our life has been consumed with this awful disease. I have seen so many doctors and been on so many meds, tried suicide three times....and here I still sit evry night I go to bed praying I won't wake up in the morning. My husband and my kids deserve much better than me. I am all alone.
First off, you have a very real biological disease. It is an illness that can be managed, but not cured...YET. It is a real bear to have to take meds every day for the rest of your life. You and I both know the consequences of both taking and not taking our meds regularly.
Second, you are NOT alone. I'm here. I don't have bipolar, but 2 people very near and dear to me do. I have major depression, migraine and chronic fatigue syndrome. So, I can understand about diseases trying to take over our lives. I've missed untold family gatherings with my migraines.
And, Dearest, you are doing the very best you can. Your family has stayed with you for thirteen years. They could have bailed at any time. So, they have decided, and continue to decide, EVERY DAY, that YOU are worth all the trials and tribulations your illness brings. This tells me you are a very loved woman. This love makes you a very worthy person. Your family loves you.
Will you do me a favor? Just for tonight, will you try to tell your husband thank you for loving you enough to stick around? Then, will you try to fall asleep with that thought in your mind - that he loves you enough to stay with you?
Here's a gentle hug, from me to you, and a smile to go with it.
I'm new to this site, and I registered because I'm depressed, and I'm tired of feeling alone. Reading Kjudds' post, I wonder how much you lean on other people for support. I had a boyfriend who broke up with me, and I asked people for help- they were more than willing to step up. The trick was to divide up the times when I asked for support, so that I had different people to talk to about my depression and anger, otherwise they can get tired of it. I'm sure that your husband knows what's going on, and all he wants to do is help.
Anyway, I don't know how much advice I can give, but I have found that I'm often not as alone as I think.
Posts: 1 | Location: Philadelphia | Registered: 10-08-2007
kjudds, i'm new here. It's difficult to comment on someone else's depression when odds are if your here you want to talk about your own problems. With that said you are very lucky to have a husband and family.(you're probably sick of hearing that). I think its important to realize that the cause of your depression is an illness and that you are not really alone. I wish I could take my own advice...do as I say not as I do!
Your husband and kids do deserve the best and that's YOU. Give them you. I'm sure that's all they want is you. This is the hardest part I think. but that's all they want. You are so special and worth soooo much.
I too have depression and bipolar. My meds help but some days like today I have a hard time making it. A little thing like issues with my bf are causing me so much anexity. So I can really understand what you are going through. I have really enjoyed reading the posts. If anyone can offer any coping skills I would be very greatful.
