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I feel angry all the time and I get irritated easily, The way I feel is getting in the way of my family and I, it's getting in the way of my school work, and it's getting in the way of my life in general. It's my first year in college and I absolutely hate it. I never have the motivation to go and im already flunking. I use to love going to school. I never wanna come home, but if I go somewhere else I don't wanna be there either, I always have this urge to be somewhere but I don't know where that is. I just feel like all my friends are moving on with their lives, and im stuck. Nothing has changed and it feels like it never will. I'm sick of the place I live in, my family, and my friends, and I feel like a horrible person for it. i cry for no reason, and i get mad for no reason! i just don't know what to do. why do i feel so hopeless and out of sorts. What am i suppose to do with my life. i just wanna get in my car and drive till my car breaks down. i just wanna get far far away. i wanna get away from the same life ive been living for 18 years! i don't wanna feel like this anymore. i wanna be happy everyday, not mad all the time. i want to be able to appreciate my life for what it is not for what its not. what do i do?
Back when I was in college several years ago, I was one of the poorest students on campus and had to try to deal with my dad's severe depression at the same time. I found a hiking class and that really helped and I took it three times. It was really depressing to go on dates and then be told to my face that I was more or less too poor to date. I was doing well for several years after I graduated but now I have been laid off for this whole year and it is almost impossible to pay my bills. So I went back to hiking and started fishing again and it really helps me feel grounded and centered and not feel angry and depressed all the time. Find something or a hobby that makes you feel centered and go with it and see where it leads you. Right now I feel almost hopeless, but it helps me to get outside and hike around and let go. Letting go really helps and will get your head clear to remember that all of this crap is just a game and not to be taken too seriously. The last few days I have looked at vacation photos from all of the places I have been and had lots of fun at after I got a college education and it really helps me out right now. Things look impossible now Bells09, but later if the same feelings happen again a few years later you can look back and know you beat it and you can beat it again. Right now I am angry and screwed up because I have no job, but, I have been through this before and lived through it and things will get better eventually. I had my degree on my office wall for a year and now it has been taped up in a bag all this year. I haven't looked at it since. Tonight I am going to rip it open and put it back on my wall here at home. Because, dammit I accomplished something in college 10 years ago and can be proud about it now, even though I have no money. It is all a game Bells, try your best to go with the flow and things will get better.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Brooks,
