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Hi my name is chris, I am 27 years old. Over the last 2 years I have slowly, become more and more depressed. I have lost, alot of friends recently, and I cant seem to stop drinking. Everything I seem to do goes wrong, and instead of trying to help myself, I just keep trying to destroy myself and everything around me. I keep having serious mood swings, one day I will be happy and really nice, then the next I turn really down and do the worst of things, even things that dont even mean anything to me.
I can't cope with these mixture of emotions and everyday I feel like commiting suicide, or I just dont want to wake up to the world. I have been long term unemployed, my father is blind and everything around me seems to be falling apart.
I spend alot of my time indoors, I used to have friends, but I pushed them all away. I turned nasty towards them, and I kept drinking to try and forget the pain I had made, and the pain that I caused to myself.
I dont see any hope of ever feeling happy again, I have anxiety issues also so I have walked away or run away from the chances to see a pysch. I dont know what to do, I am so stressed out and I never seem to be able to realx at all. I have also had a history with drugs, which I have stopped but I tend to drink alot to goto sleep or run away from my problems.
I really need to talk to people, I really want to help myself, and stop all the stupid things that I keep doing. I dont know what has happened to me, I dont even know who I am anymore. I feel like the real me died ages ago, and theres nothing left.
Hi Chris. It sounds like you are really struggling with a lot of stuff right now. Have you considered getting some help and support? Drinking can make things worse if you are depressed, I know I self medicated for several years before I realized what was really wrong with me. Many of us who suffer with depression have had similar issues. I really think you should try to get out of the house and find some people to help you with this. I have gotten lots of good advise from this web site hopefully you will also. Hang in there it will get better.
