Make a connection, ask a question, share a concern, give advice or just chat. Our message boards connect you with a community of people who understand where you’re coming from and what you’re going through.
Hi. I read a lot of posts, and I was surprised to know that people feel the same way, like me. Feeling awkward in society...feeling out of place...Except they're older now. As for me...I'm not sure what I'm depressed about. But I always have this empty feeling hanging in my head. I could smile and noone can tell that I was unhappy about anything. Except the times I was really tired. And the time when my ex-boyfriend who said that he never saw my real smile. I never understood that. At times, when I'm alone, tears just start flowing down my cheeks. And then that daunting feeling comes back. Even when I'm in the house with people, when I'm left alone, I feel..well alone. Like I'm the only person existing on the world. Then when I go to school, I feel a forbearing pressure of what my fellow peers will think of me. Will they like what I wear? What do they think of me? Was I acting too nerdy? All these worries cloud my head, and I feel so superficial after I done things. Or said them. I think, "What a idiot I am." "Why'd I do that?" "That was stupid of me." Although I'm in a grader higher than I'm suppose to be (I went to school early), I feel like I don't fit in with anyone. With the '92s, '92s...about everyone. Only at certain moments do I feel comfortable. I ...just don't know where I fit in. I don't know who I really am. I do know I'm a hypocrite. I tell people optimistic things like,"Live life to the fullest." While I myself don't take my old advice. Sometimes...I just cram things into my schedule. So I could not have time to think about myself. To not think about who I really am. But now I'm about to go off to college. My superficial smile feels like its cracking. My own soul feels like its being torn apart. My friends...have offered support. But...I think I'm afraid. Afraid to take their help. I'm not asking for pity. I just...want to talk. To others who feel like me. Maybe we'll connect. Maybe no one will read this. I just needed to get this out. Because I can't really hold it in silence much longer. Sorry this was so long.
