hey, nun!
i don't think you're fat and lazy at all! i used to train to be an astronaut, so, not skinny by any definition, and always on the heavy side - but healthy! ever tried yoga?? i know you're thinking, "good gawd, no! i have back issues..", but there are so many exercises that don't require you to tie yourself in a knot. just the breathing exercises will burn as much calories as aerobics (some will) and most can be done from the comfort of bed or the couch. i do the situp-less situp. basically, i lay flat on my back or prop myself up in a sitting (but as comfy as a position as possible) position.. then i pull all my abdomenal muscles as tight as i can - like you're trying to get into a pair of jeans that are too small.. hold it for a count of 10-20 seconds (the longer the better, but no need to push it! if you can't hold it long, don't! you'll build up strength and it's about a slow climb - no 30min abs here! lol) each time you do this, it counts as a situp. it takes way longer to complete a set (according to standard workout meathods, but who cares), but the same amount of calories are spent. i always figure that i'm not doing anything else.. and i stop AS SOON AS IT STARTS TO HURT!! (that's the major key!).. there's ton of yoga moves like that - you can google the instructions if you'd like..
i know what it's like to not have the government step in and help you out after you've paid taxes your entire life. i've worked a job everyday of my life since i was 14yrs - i'm only 27yrs now! i stopped working 3yrs ago - and i have been denied coverage simply because of my age! they all say that i'm too young for medicare or medical - i've even been told that i can't get covered because i don't have 2 kids (wtf that has to do with anything, who the heck knows)! i had perfect credit until i got sick, now, i don't even bother to look at my credit reports because i know that with $20K in medical debt (never any credit cards - i didn't go on a shopping spree or buy a benz!) that i can't even declare bankruptcy to erase.. it's screwed me over and i have no answers and am no closer to a resolution than when this all started. believe me, i know how you feel. i know how it feels to lose friends because people simply don't get it. they don't understand the pain isn't just physical - it's very emotional and mentally frustrating.. and you will snap at people for the smallest of things. i do! and i can't stop it either. i know why i'm snapping and being absolutely terrible at some points. i do my best to try and explain to folks that the pain, lack of sleep, complete and udder exhaustion, and medications make me absolutely nutz in my head! i try to control it, but sometimes, it's too much and i can't deal. and most folks simply can't take that as an answer. after seeing people through bad breakups and just general bitchiness, they ditch me for a physical problem that i have no control over. it's hard to really understand someone's pain unless you've walked in their shoes. doctors have told me to "suck it up" and to be an adult about things (wtf?!) countless times - i've only had 1 nurse tell me that she understands where i'm comming from because she, herself, has lupus and knows what a flare can do to you. she argued it out with the emergency room doctor to get me some morphine to help with the pain that night, and i'm forever thankful! you that saying, don't judge another unless you've walked a mile in their shoes.. most doctors, i believe, haven't even heard that statement.
anyways, i'm on some nasty steriods for the asthma (darned near close to pnemonia and bronchitus) and it's making me manic. i've been up for 3 days straight, and the norco ain't helping...
have the most comfy of night you possibly can. welcome to our little club!
Harley
you don't have to be faster than the bear, you simply need to be faster than the slowest person running from the bear.
