Chronic Pain

Hello. My name is Harley. I'm 27yrs old and I've been in pain for the past (almost) 5 years. I've gone to doctor after doctor, took pill after pills, and done test after test. I still have no answers as to what's wrong with me. I have a pile of medical bills and people call every single day looking to collect on said bills. I've learned to ignore the phone when it rings because, honestly, I can't take anymore bad news. I can't work - at all. I was going to school for astrophysics, and I've pretty much given up on that. Showing up to class everyday is too hard...

My family doesn't do much to help me emotionally. Everytime I express that I am in pain, I'm told to "just stop it." When I'm crying because I don't have anything else to do, nobody comforts me. Who would think you could feel so alone in a house with 5 other people living here? I could lay in bed for days, and nobody will ask what's wrong. I've grown a huge resentment towards them. I've gone from trying not to care when they get sick, but I always end up being the one who takes care of them. They don't know how much a hug would go, and they don't care.

I take a lot of painkillers ranging from Vicodin to Percocet to Norco. I've visited the emergency rooms nearby so many times; each ends with a Morphine shot and me being sent home with no more answers than when I stumbled into the door. My doctor recently left his practice, leaving me at square one, again. He was the only doctor that seemed to believe me. Every other doctor seems to only be interested in cramming painkillers and antidepressants down my hatch. I am not clinically depressed. I will agree to being depressed, but being 27 years old and watching all my friends grow up, get married, having families, and basically having lives, and not being able to have any of that, would you really blame me?

I'm basically at my wit's end...

hi harley -

i know you posted this a while back , but you are not alone at all with anything you are thinking, feeling or saying ... i know that while you have already met others here , my name is cyprian1 or Adrian ...

i have been dx'd with MS , shortly afterward there was fibromyalgia , as at that time most neurologists were not correlating any pain with MS .. all that has changed now and i am relearning .. i also have had a relapse back in 05 , but have learned to work around the pain ..

i noticed you haven't been dx'd with anything from the pain you have been suffering with .. and i feel for you not having that family support .. i get alot of uh huhs,nods and oh really's from my older bro .. my other bros know i have pain and suffer from depression.

and i have my mom who is actually after 6 yrs listeing to what i am saying .. and does what she can to pull me up when i get to down on myself ...

i wish you the best in getting a dx .. i pray that you find a dr that is willing to help by taking payments , it is hard to be so young and feel like you do ... i wish icould give you a nice gentle hug and just let you know that there are many of us here with pain .. and bills ...

i may need to move as i simply cannot lve on the pay i receive from disability , and maxxed my cc's to cover insurances for here and vehicle .. but am blessed to have had my 50 yrs here and have very few regrets .. i will, if you don't mind, pray for you .. you are not ever alone .. adrian

thank you very much for your kind words!

as a policy, i don't like it when people pray for me. i feel so selfish about it knowing that there are so many others out there in far worse shape than i am.. but, thank you!

harley

Hi Harley,

I understand what you're saying because I've been there ... instead of Morphine shots, I'd be sent home after getting Demerol shots. After lots of help, I found a career, a life, a wife and have 2 great kids (15 and 20). Hang in there!
The pain is still there for many of us Chronic Pain sufferers (CP'ers) but most us CP'ers seem to come to terms with having it ... please be kind to yourself and accept whatever help that comes your way ... we want to see you have a better life.

Mark

Harley

I was just sitting here thinking about you and wondering how your days is going?
Hope the weather is warmer & your able to get out in the sunshine.
The UV rays are actually good for painiacs and have a way of letting off a substance that helps with pain, so remeber the sunshine is your friend.
I'm hoping we can get you set up and looking into some pain advocacy. I'm sure your age is detrimental & making it more difficult for you to receive better treatment, but I know that many other young folks have already fought this fight and are receiving treatment now. We just have to find you a better way of going about it.

I'll be thinking about you, take care and keep comin back. Maybe we'll have some news for you that may help.

Take Care, Gentle hugs
Betty