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I am new to this site and not sure if this is the right place to start...
A little about me: I was injured while active duty military (I served 1989 to 1997) and had my right ankle reconstructed. My left was supposed to have the same surgery, but due to the results of the right ankle surgery, I would not let them operate on me again. I suffered terrible pain for months after the surgery and the docs just told me it was normal to feel pain after a major surgery. They gave me motrin and told me to suck it up - I'd be better soon. Months later I requested copies of my medical records and found the surgical report. It said my sural nerve had been damaged during the surgery. They never told me. I got a medical discharge, though I wanted to remain active duty. I used my military benefits to get a teaching degree. I am licensed for English, computers, and Tech Ed - Tech Ed is what we used to call "Shop." I have been teaching since 2001. The pain has never left my leg. I am currently experiencing symptoms and am being medicated for fibromyalgia, although my health care is through the VA and they have not given me that official diagnosis. Because of my ankle and nerve problems I have walked with a slight limp for almost 15 years. That limp has screwed up my knees and back. I literally hurt from head to toe. I also have PTSD. This lovely combination of problems has affected every part of my life. My wife divorced me(we have 5 kids), my boss thinks I'm a malingerer, I started self-medicating with alcohol which has caused me more relationship problems - my girlfriend doesn't trust me and said she wants to back off on our relationship. I am prescribed Vicodin, Flexeril, Tramadol, and Neurontin. I'm maxed out on the amounts of these drugs and I still hurt. I had such a bad fit of pain last week that I went to the hospital by ambulance and was given two shots of morphine. I had (lumbar) spinal injections two weeks ago and got no relief at all. During the procedure, which used a fluoroscope to guide the needle, the docs pointed out a fractured vertebra in my back. I have always been a bit of a loner, I have only a few close friends, and none of them understand what I'm going through. I feel very alone. School starts tomorrow and the head of human resources has hinted that the school corp might not want someone teaching under the influence of all the drugs I take... I don't know what I'll do if they won't let me work. I have no family to help me. I have a mortgage, car payments, you know, all the normal bills. I can't afford to lose my job. I do have long term disability insurance, but I don't know how it works or how much it pays. I'm overwhelmed and I just feel paralyzed - I just don't know what to do.
This is the short version of what's going on with me. I haven't even started on the awful way I've been treated by some of the doctors I've seen... It would be nice to talk to someone that understands, I guess. I type slowly, though and don't know how well this will all work.
I am sorry that you were injured protecting all of us, thank you for your sacrifice. I noticed you lived in Indiana, I do to. There are several areas in our "wonderful" state that have very good docs, especially pain docs. It seems to me that you need to pac all of your medical reports together, find a GOOD pain doc, and go see them. The Key to good treatment is 1. find a good doc(talk to co-workers, someone at the VA clinic.(use your health insurance from work, find the best) 2. DO NOT under any circumstances doctor shop, unless you leave ones care completely. Most good pain docs make you sign a narcotic agreement, and the way computerized prescriptions are now, all docs know what you get, from who and when. Your doc needs to trust you.
On another point, quit self-medicating. Get yourself into a program, stop drinking, no doc worth his weight will prescribe with you drinking, the combo can be lethal, you know that.
I realize you think you are alone, but you are not. There are plenty of people who I am sure are willing to help you. You need to attack this problem with your brain, seek out a solution, Please continue to post, there are lots of good people on this site. Ask any questions you want.
Hi Jeff, Welcome to our pain community. I'm so sorry you need to be here. First of all, you are not alone. There are so many of us who have basically the same problems you do. You need to find a pain management doctor who will prescribe meds for you that actually work. I know how pain totally effects everything in your life. I've been in pain for ten years now after having five lumbar surgeries. I also had two nerve releases in my left leg. As a result of the back surgeries I have scar tissue encased around the nerve roots. I've been unable to work since 2005. That's when I had to go on disability. There are lots of people who will be here for you. ( me included ) I wish the best for you. I hope you have a low pain day. Scooter
