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I am new to this site and I am not quite sure how it works. I have read some shareposts and have even written one. I am tired of talking about my health issues with my friends and family because I think they are sick of listening to me, and because unless you have walked in my shoes, they really don't get it. I have had Juevenil Rheumatoid Arthritis since I was 14 yrs. old. I am 50 now, so thats been a very long time. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2000, and it is as bad if not worse than living with RA. I tend to be really hard on myself and get really down when I have to back out of going places with friends or family when I don't feel well, which is 90% of the time. I use a 10 point scale to decide if I am up to going out or not. If I am 6 or above (in terms of pain level) I usually won't go. But if I am 5 and below, I usually will go. I know it may sound silly to you guys but it helps me out quite a bit. I tend to dwell on the bad stuff in my life, so this is a simple way for me to make a decision, otherwise if I dwell on it too much, it will drag me down emotionally. I also have chronic depression. I believe that chronic pain and chronic depression go hand in hand. Its pretty much a viscous circle, the more pain I'm in the more depressed I am and the more depressed I am the more pain I am in. I go to a pain specialist and am on narcotics for the chronic pain. I normally don't tell people that I am on narcotics because I have in the past and they tend to judge me, espicially my family. I know they worry that I will become addicted to them, but they don't understand how difficult it is to live in so much pain on a day to day basis. I have been on Methetrexate for my RA and have had to recently go off the meds do to a reaction I might be having do to the medication. I have been battling skin blisters under my arm (arm pit) for a couple of months and the dermatologist took a biobsy to get it tested. I have been on methetrexate for a long time so I don't think that is the answer. I was wondering if anyone else has had this happen to them. I would really appreciate it if you could drop me a note through this site. These blisters are very painful and when I went to the pain Dr. yesterday I asked him if I could go on a slightly higher dose until this is resolved and he said no. I was very upset with him because he really wasn't interested in why I suggested it, its just that I have been staying home alot lately and its really getting depressing. I just can't go out when I have so much pain, I mean it feels like someone took a hot poker and stuck it under my arm. Oh well, life goes on, right? Well thats all for now, talk to ya later....curlygirl2459
when i say this, i sincerely mean that i am so sorry to hear that you are in pain, and that you have dealt with all these problems for years and years. I can relate to you with some of the things...like friends and family getting tired of hearing about your conditions. It is very true that no one can truly understand your situation unless they're in it themselves. But you should try very hard not to let yourself get down! Cuz you're right, chronic pain and chronic depression go hand in hand! its only natural 4 some 2 be depressed, after being sick for so long. i have found that narcotics r the only medicine that actually help a little with my pain, nothing else helps. So, there is nothing wrong with taking narcotics all the time, I did that for a while, but then I ran out! lol Unfortunatly I know nothing about medicine or treatment or anything, so, i cannot provide you with tips or anything for your conditions. I cant even figure out my own. But i just wanted to leave a comment, to say to not feel sad! Even though its near impossible at some times.
Your pain scale is not silly to me or most of us at this site. I use it often to tell others how I am doing. To be honest, my family resists this mostly but it is growing on them now after only 3 1/2 years of chronic pain.
I can relate to your story. I have had back and health issues chronically most of my life. I only truly learned what chronic pain was once I got it. LOL I consider myself somewhat intelligent but I missed the boat on the true meaning of chronic pain. I thought it meant that often you would have reoccurring pain (like a tennis elbow or something). LOL I do wish the doctors had named it severe chronic pain. Maybe others would understand us better.
I am sorry about your bout with blisters under your arm. It sounds hideously painful. Can you cover them with a gauze dressing so that your arm movements won’t irritate it more? I am sure you have tried this and everything you can think of. Did you write to the doctors on this site? They are very good at writing back.
I have been a regular visitor of this site for over a year. I mostly write in a small forum called The Daily Grind. You can find this group under a heading called OFF TOPICS. At the moment we are approximately 5 people but the group grows and shrinks. I think the most people we had at one time was 12 or so. Everyone is welcome.
I really hear you about the depression side of pain. I have recently come through an 8 week period of extreme pain. By the last 2 weeks or so of this episode, it was so hard to keep destructive thoughts away but once the pain lessened to a 5 or 6 my depression vanished within a day. I know this isn’t everyone’s experience but really, how can anyone in constant pain not be depressed? It is so hard to reach out to someone when you are feeling so crummy so I am proud of you for doing so. I think you will find many caring and knowledgeable people here. I hope you will find some time to look in on us at the Grind. Just click on the most recent posting, and then scroll up and through back pages to get a feel for what we are about. We don’t always talk about just our pain.
Hang in there curlygirl, Gentle hugs, DS Deb (dockside) P.S. I love your web name. It sounds fun.
As you give love out, it's received and reciprocated--and it grows. ............ and eventually it comes back. —Hill Harper
