Chronic Pain

I am so happy I found this web site. Many of you girls seem to be very positive despite the pain you live with. That's awesome!

I'll share my story....I had a back injury a few years ago, failed back surgery, and now have nerve damage in my leg so I limp. I have been diagnosed with CES, and Chronic Pain Disorder.

My husband and I have been ttc on/off since February 2007 with no luck so far. First my doctors told me I had to come off all my medication. I lasted just under 3 months, and then I could just no longer do it anymore. We then had to hold off ttc because I was sent to a pain management program, and had a failed attempt at return to work. We started ttc again in November. So far we have ttc for 7 months. The second time we started ttc, I would only take my meds the first half of my cycle, and then come off during the two week wait. This cycle I went off the strong meds on cycle day 20, and continued Tylenol 3 and Robaxacet until my period was late. My period is one week late, but appears it's going to start any minute now as I just started spotting. We thought we finally caught the egg, but doesn't appear that way anymore which is dissappointing.

I am really struggling with what the right decision is regarding medication. My doctor will support me, but would like me to try to avoid medication as much as possible the first trimester, and I am 100% on board with that. I will be needing a C-section, and probably bed rest when the time finally comes as well. I am starting to wonder if my body is under too much stress and pain to get pregnant. It's so hard to sleep and so hard to relax when I'm off my meds. I try to control it through relaxation, heat, breathing, physio, etc but that only does so much. My husband is 100% supportive of me being on meds, but my family is making me feel guilty about it. My mom plays mind games with me. I just wish she would understand that of course I would not want to harm a baby, but I have been on/off my medication for a year now, and it's just becoming frustrating since I don't know when I'll get pregnant, plus then the time I am pregnant, and breast feeding if I am able too. That's a very scarry thought!

To top it off, my doctor asked me to stop trying to conceive for a few months so I can get my pain under control a little better since I have gone down hill. She told me to get back on my meds, take them as prescribed, and then try again later. I hate that the pain controls my life as it is, and now it can control when I we can try to start a family too?

I am sure you all understand and I would love to have people in the same situation to talk to about it. I may not sound like it at the moment, but I am a very happy positive person. I will not let this pain take over my life. I am determined to get pregnant even if my doctors and family think I am nuts. LOL Day by day. That's how I live.

Does anyone know how to get over the guilt of taking meds while trying to have a baby, even if your doctor approves? One day I am okay with it, and then the next day I feel guilt. My doctor actually gave me a lecture and told me I will not get through an entire pregnancy med free, and I will get depressed if I continue to think the way I do because then I might feel like a failure even though I won't be. She supports me with trying to stay off meds, but she wants me to be ready to make the decision to take them when I absolutely have to. I just don't want to do any harm to a baby and I keep reading I won't, but I still feel guilt.

Thanks for listening! *hugs*

B.E.

Bonnie-
Just wondering what meds you were on and how much? I am delivering in 6 weeks, and curious to see how my outcome will be!
Cassie

I don't think you ever really "get over" the guilt of having to take meds while you are pregnant. I know that was very difficult for me, and I was SO ANGRY at my pain, and at my situation that I had to even be put in the position to choose. Obviously you don't want to take anything at all! This isn't fun for us... yet people think we just choose this without thinking? I never dealt with anything more serious in my life. The decision to conceive knowing I was pg was one not taken lightly at all! It is harder when you are judged by people who don't understand. My doctors were supportive, mostly.. telling me that the best thing for my baby was 1)the lowest doses possible and 2) not being under stress/pain. The higher my pain level was the more stress and danger the baby was in... so therefore using the medication as rx'd was necessary for a healthy baby.

Please don't beat yourself up. I had a few good friends that knew my situation, and on the really hard "pity party" days I would call them and they would remind me why I was doing this and that it was OK. That I was taking care of myself so that I could take care of my child. If you can, delegate that task to someone who gets it.. who can remind you of the positive!

My daughter is one now... and still thriving and happy and healthy and amazing. To be honest, you probably won't feel any relief until that baby is out and you hear the cries and know he/she is just fine. You will have a feeling like no other... and just embrace it.

The majority of moms are put in our positions - or at least when they are they don't talk about it when they are. I'm glad that we all have each other and that my experience and thread has started so much discussion and help and support. I didn't have a lot of that with my pregnancy, and so so so very much needed it.

You are all doing the best you can, under supervision of doctors... so TRY HARD to enjoy the pregnancy and this little miracle you are growing! You are all doing great and are going through more than most moms do. Give yourself some credit!! )

Thanks Ganzygrl. The visit with the OB was great. He was very kind and supportive and didn't make me feel like I was being a horrible mother-to-be ingesting the medication I have to take. He actually said it was a pretty low dose. He offered to put me in touch with the anaesthesiologist, a paediatrician - to keep an eye on the baby after it is born, and a pain management doctor. His intern that took my history worked for a pain management doctor last Summer and briefed him before he came in. As soon as he entered, he said, "So you're very healthy, except for the chronic pain, and I can tell just from the way that you're sitting that you've been dealing with it for a long time." It was such a nice change to deal with someone who was compassionate and not suspect.

hello I am so glad I found this site. My husband and I have been putting off the topic of children for three years now because of my chronic pain. I have had recent back sergery and although the pain is better it is still there all the time. So I have come to terms with the fact it may never go away and I need to figure out how to deal with it to have a child. I have a pain specialist I go to. So I will be discussing this with him my next visit. It is nice to know I can come here for support

Hi all you heros!
I can't believe I found this site, and I can't believe I can even write this through my real tears of relief and longing. I have always wanted to be a mother. It's the only thing I want. I am a RSD patient who is already on off-label doses of pain meds that barely get me to a 6 or 7 on a average day. (200mc duragesic and 240 morphine sulfate). My GYN said pregnancy was not an option, but my pain shrink said maybe, so I quit her in search of someone more open-minded. I am about to be engaged, and my amazing man and I want a family. I realize that even though he has been in the trenches on the pain thing, he has no idea what we face. To all you heroine/mothers on this page, I have so many questions....??!! Should I get a stimulator or pump to facilitate this? how much duragesic/morphine can I take safely? Will I need total bed rest? How do I find doc who will help, it's hard enough to find a good pain doc, I've been through several uncaring, aggressive louts! How will I even care for a child; I can't even work? I am so scared. I want to, need to, long to realize my dream. Please, please help me. I can't stop tearing up (which is weird, after so many years of pain, I just don't cry anymore.)
Love and appreciation,
Heather

Glad to know your doc was compassionate. That's the key, I think, to getting through this, whether you're pregnant or not. Sorry I haven't checked in lately, but I'm trying to get back to work (which of course is starting to aggravate my back yet again) and have been doing aggressive PT, which is also aggravating my back. Sitting for any extended time hurts (though sitting with Max is awesome!) Amazing how rocking my little one makes me forget the pain (until I try to stand up <grin>!)

Hi ladies! I just wanted to let you know my baby (it was a boy-we waited to find out) was born 04/06/08 right after midnight. He's healty and looking great! I never did taper completely off of the percocet, I was taking 2-3 5/325mg pills 1x a day up until the day he was born (he was almost 2 weeks late!! unexpected after all the preterm labor scares...). That last month I had to have his hearbeat checked several times a week because his heart rate was doing this unusual dip. They didn't think it was medication related. When I went into the hospital to have him, the contractions were only a minute apart and he was born less than an hour after we arrived. It all went VERY fast and he was born without drugs or an epidural. I never even had an IV put in...I was really wanting to avoid those things because I know on occasion they can also affect labor/heartbeat and I was afraid just with all the irregular stuff so far. Then at the end of my labor his heartbeat slowed to below 40 and they couldn't find it at one point, the pediatrician and his team came in, but then he came out so fast his nose got scraped ("in the birth canal"...eesh, I didn't know that was possible). And everything turned out alright, just terribly frightening. He passed all of his APGAR testing and seems to be all good and healthy! I kind of thought, if I could have him with no meds, it would make my neck pain seem not so bad... but that hasn't been the case. I think with the crummy sleeping and the posture related to nursing him, it's been pretty bad this last week. The first week wasn't as bad because I was on meds for post pregnancy pain...ahhh well. Back to the grind of chronic pain. But at least now I can work on core strengthening which my physical therapist says is the best combator for chronic neck pain/injury...and now the pain Dr.'s at Group Health will see me again (since I'm not pregnant anymore). Although I'm still resentful as hell that they dropped me like a rock when I got pregnant. When I needed them the most. I'm just trying to remind myself how positive breast feeding is to motivate myself, because the lactation specialist and my PCP (the new one, since my old one wigged out about pain meds and pregnancy when my Obg and Midwives said it was ok...) they said a lot of hormones are still released whiel nursing that are released during pregnancy (making ligaments soft, etc...). But the pain hasn't been worse than when pregnant (sofar...). I just really wanted you guys to know he was born without any withrawls at all and born really healthy and BIG and happy (I think! he's done little smiles in his sleep). Knowing myself, I'll still worry about any longterm issues that might come from it?? although his pediatrician said don't worry he's fine. still...I'm just a worryier :-) Thanks for all the support. And after all the discomfort, difficulties and medication worries...it was so completely worth it!!! renee

Hi, I am new here, but found this site while trying to research my options for pain management during pregnancy. I had a rough pregnancy with my 2nd son, with severe back and leg pain starting around 34 wks. I managed though, and he was born healthy and without me taking any medications. In February 2005 I herniated my L4-5 disc, and had surgery the following July. I have since bulged my L5-S1 and it hurts me daily, whereas my L4-5 hurts occasionally. I have been ttc baby #3 with my OB's permission while taking hydrocodone, albeit only 1/2 a pill per day. Wednesday I saw a fertility specialist who told me I had to be off all meds while TTC and pregnant, which was the opposite of what my OB had told me last june. So, today I called my OB to see what he had to say and now he's agreeing with the other dr, saying I need to be off of them. That's fine, for now, I think, as I can probably just tough it out. But, I'm worried sick that when I'm pregnant and in severe pain, that I won't be able to function at all unless they help me out with the pain. I'm wondering what you think I should do now. Should I just talk to my pain management dr and get his opinion? He has already okay'd me being on the meds, so I think he will help me out. But, I guess I'm just afraid he'll drop me like a hot potato once pregnant. I'm worried sick and scared, but I desperately want one more child to complete our family. I just don't want to sacrifice enjoying my 2 older children in the process because I'm in such severe pain.

spookycat99 -

I just got your message via my email but it only shows part of your email. Write me at Luv2Laugh06 AT sbcglobal DOT net and we'll chat. I can tell you though I wasn't on morphine sulphate during my pg, but was taking other meds. I would be glad to try and help you as much as I can. Write me if you'd like to chat. I'm not online as often as I'd like to be anymore now that my daughter is so active! But I do check it and am more than happy to help you with anything I can. Even if it's just some peace of mind...

For everyone else out there who is going through this, I'm soooo sorry. It is such a tough road to be in pain and pregnant. My daughter is 14 months now and is healthy as can be - had no withdrawls from the meds i was taking - and is at or above average on everything, and always has been! I worried myself sick every day and felt more guilt that you can imagine...but that only made the pain worse. All you can do is take care of yourself so that the baby is safe.. and if that means you need some medicine (even the lowest dose possible to get by of the safest medicines you can find) to function then I say do it if your doctor has agreed. Let them help you. There aren't many docs out there that are educated or comfortable with pregnancy and narcotic meds, so don't be afraid to ask for another opinion or to see a specialist who helps moms who need medication while pg. Those docs DO exist! I saw a few of them!

Hang in there... you are good mothers already just by doing your homework, and you can do this! I promise!!

Nicole

Quick questions to pain mothers...
Have any of you been pregnant with a stimulator or pump? I am considering a stimulator trial, and want to know how it will effect my ability to conceive, be pregnant, etc.
Also, is it standard to use IVF due to the stress pain causes you body? or is it due to all the meds we all take?
Thanks if anyone can help....
-Heather

Heather, unless you're dealing with infertility issues, there shouldn't be any reason you can't conceive the good old-fashioned way. It worked for me! I'm almost 25 weeks pregnant and taking 10mg of OxyContin twice daily with 5/325 of Percocet at halfway intervals. My pain has worsened in the last 2 1/2 weeks, but I'm not sure whether it's because of the pregnancy or because of my multiple herniated discs. My OB today said that if I have to up my dosage that in cases like this they tend to "ignore" the baby and treat the mother - a mother who is constantly in pain is under stress and THAT'S not good for the baby. They'll monitor for withdrawal symptoms after birth, and hopefully everything will go well. I'm still hesitant to take more meds, but the OB said the dosage doesn't really matter...the baby will have to be monitored if I'm taking anything, so not to worry that more meds puts him at more risk. I'm sorry I can't comment on the stimulator. When I thought pregnancy might be in my near future, I weaned off as much as I could. Good luck!

This forum has truely helped me get through the last 9 months. I haven't really posted much, but I check it regularly and keep up with everyone. It's so good to know I am not the only one with fears! I delivered 5 weeks ago and so far everything is going ok. I am still on meds though and breastfeeding. I was just wondering if anyone else has breastfed and what you took. Once again I am in fear of hurting my baby! If anyone has answers for me that would be great!

my son was born 7.5 weeks ago and i take percocet 1x a day, 4-5 x amonth i take it 2x a day...and i'm nursing him. no problems. with my 1st son they put me on it 2x a day when he was 5 months old and i nursed him until he was13 months. he's fine. hope everyone feels a little better today-maybe just for a little bit...it looks lie my little guy has colic and all my constant pacing and carrying is killing my neck...ahhhh i keep telling myself it wont last forever.

there is alot to be said about chronic pain and pregnancy issues. For the statistics on chronic pain and pregnancy please visit:
http://chronicpain.today.com/2008/06/17/statistics-of-c...pain-with-pregnancy/