Chronic Pain

I have been literally picked to pieces this week by my husband. I was to have been admitted to the hospital for observation and when I was laying in the ER waiting for the admissions clerk, I was forgotten about. I live in Denmark and they have socialized medicine here. I was there for about 7 hours and they did not feed me or check on me and I asked for food and for the doctor to remember me at least 3 times for each. Finally they sent me home because I was not screaming in pain. My husband was outraged and said I lied to the doctors to get out of there. I do have a phobia of doctors but I had asked to be admitted due to extreme headache pain. Since Tuesday he has called me a liar, abusive to him and other nasty things. He says all I do is lay in the bed in a dark room and cry. I am in horrible pain most of the time and cannot get up without help. I cant cook or clean anymore without horrible pain and he says I am abusive because he has to do it now. He says I am abusive because I refuse to talk to his father and sister in law because they have told me to go home and let him marry a danish woman so he can have kids. He doesnt believe me and will ask them. Of course they will deny it and therefore I will be put down again. I have lost my family and all I own due to my poor health. I cannot get disability because my family says I am an alcoholic, one or two drinks a year does not make me an alcoholic. My husband says my constant crying and threats of suicide (I only threaten when I am at a pain level of 10 and nobody will help me and I cant help myself) are abusive to him and I have to get well or he will throw me out to live on the street in America. He is tired of hearing me cry all the time. I have to yell and scream at the doctors and beg them to cure me so sayith him. Its been 10 years in constant pain. I cannot live with myself knowing that I am an abusive person. I thought I was protecting myself by not speaking to his family, allowed to cry when I am in horrible pain, was allowed to ask for help when I cant cook or clean, ect. Now I have to try and find a miracle cure and get a job and learn danish overnight and become normal or I am abusing him. I cant live with this and am not sure I want to. He is the second husband who has done this. He is one of many who has accused me of abuse. I do not understand why my crying and pain causes abuse to others. I hide when I cry and am in horrible pain. When he takes me out and I have a bad day and ask to be left at home and he wont have that and I cry in pain then he gets so angry I am afraid. I cant take this anymore. I have no family to turn to. My friends are very bad off financially. I have noplace to go. I am backed into a corner and know that when he comes home tonight it will all start all over again. He will meet me today at the doctors and tell her what I need because I cant be trusted to tell her myself. He says I will lie. Now I have to crawl around the house and try to clean it. He says I need to stop being so lazy. I am scared. I am alone. I cant ask anyone for help because I am abusing them. OMG how do I stop???? Sophia

hello sophia,

i don't know how u're situation has changed since your post, cuz this post was made a year ago, but even so, it still broke my heart. I burst into tears when i read it. I want you 2 know that u can reply back at any time, and i will usually reply back within a couple of hours. i have a website of a women's shelter, in Maryland, that may be able to help you. I don't know if you can get there here from denmark, but, i thought i'd let u know anyway:
http://www.mnisaa.org/index.html
here's the email address to request shelter:
shelter@mnisaa.org

i don't know if this can help at all, but i wanted 2 let u know i care! i hope u can reply back, letting me know of the current situation.