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My name is Thomas Brown and I am the author of Men Bleed Too: A Compelling Story About One Man's Struggle to Help His Wife Fight Breast Cancer. I am featured on this web site at http://www.healthcentral.com/breast-cancer/breast-cancer-husbands.html I would like to start an open dialogue with anyone who is serving as a caregiver. I will share my experience with you and offer advice if requested.
My wife of many years and who just turned 50 was diagnosed two days ago with stage 3 breast cancer. I'm in an odd situation because she is actually an oncology nurse and has been for 20 years. I think my biggest fear right now is letting her down when it comes to support. I'm right beside her for the duration of this illness but I'm just concerned I'll fail her at some point. Any advice?
Posts: 1 | Location: Kansas City | Registered: 03-14-2007
Sorry it took me so long to respond to you. I moved from Leavenworth to The Villages in Florida. Here are a few thoughts for you to consider. First go to this link and read the articles that I have posted there. http://www.healthcentral.com/breast-cancer/breast-cancer-husbands.html?ic=4026 Do not worry about failing your wife. As an oncology nurse she has seen more grief from suffering patients and caregivers. Communication with her is the most important thing. Sometimes she will just want you to listen. My new email address is ku70@comcast.net is you would like to contact me.
Originally posted by MrMarine: My wife of many years and who just turned 50 was diagnosed two days ago with stage 3 breast cancer. I'm in an odd situation because she is actually an oncology nurse and has been for 20 years. I think my biggest fear right now is letting her down when it comes to support. I'm right beside her for the duration of this illness but I'm just concerned I'll fail her at some point. Any advice?
In my experience, your wife may not know what she wants. Like you, she’s figuring out her next move. Just be there when needed. Don’t talk when you should be listening. I have found that after the initial shock, the best thing you can do for your wife (at least for mine) was to treat her no differently. EVERYONE else will treat her different. Eventually she’ll get tired of it. Act like you always have. I believe you retaining what ‘normalcy’ of life you can has great worth.
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