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We found out today that my wife has inflammatory breast cancer. I love her no matter what but I want her to know that. I have told her today that I love her and that we will be fine a thousand times. How can I make sure she feels secure and make sure she knows that to me it doesnt matter if she has one breast, no breasts or whatever that I will always love her and desire her the same? She has always been a perfect wife and friend and I want to do everything I can to make sure she know how I feel. She is very scared right now and I want to be there for her but I have a history of meaning the right thing and saying the wrong thing. I'm afraid that I might say or do some boneheaded thing, meaning well but coming wrong, and hurt her terribly. My wife is the most wonderful person in the world, please help me to not be a bonehead. Thanks
Support her, be there when she needs you. tell her you love her and that she is your beautiful wife. Go to the doctors with her if at all possible. It may not seem like a lot but there really is not much more that you can do for her. besides what she asks of you. This will be a difficult time for both of you. Remember to talk to each other. even if you are angry and frustrated remember it is out of her control and not her fault. My wife and I are facing the possibility of a second diagnosis today. Best of luck, Tom
LOL...Thanks Tom. And good luck to you and yours. I will take your advice and be there with her every step of the way. She is a wonderful woman and deserves it. It is awful that the ones we care the most about have to go through this. I wish there was a way I could take it from her...
My wife really hates to hear that everything will be alright. It will but it is a big change for a woman. She may not feel like herself. She may not feel like a woman. Everyone reacts differently. Try to get her involved in a local BC support group. That helped us. I go to the meetings with her and am welcomed with open arms. Prepare yourself to be a caregiver. I have had a nervous breakdown over the possibility it has come back. I spent the other day in the local psych emergency. I am a very strong person but I just reached the end of my tether. This will be hard on you too. If you love her the way I think you do, (your words reflect the way I feel about my wife) you can make it. Be strong listen to her and read the book by the breast cancer husband. It helped me a lot. Research research research. knowledge is power, Tom
Being a caregiver is a very demanding job. I know that right now you feel insecure and need some help. Here are a couple of tips I would offer. Get a journal and keep notes. Record the date/time your wife takes any medication to include the chemo treatment. Note also any change in her like temp, attitude constipation etc. It may be useful information to an attending physican. Be mindful that she is sick and not helpless. She will be able and want to do many things on her own. I would get a tape recorder and take it to every session with the doctors. Most of them do not mind. It is easier than trying to write down everything. I am always available to chat if you want. My email is cav@kc.rr.com My web site is www.thomasbrownbooks.com
wow, thanks guys. I will get the book and definately take notes. Never thought of that. I have a voice recorder so I will ask if I can use it. It really does make me feel better knowing you guys have been through this and are so helpful.
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