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It is possible that i could get a bp diagnosis. I am not sure, but it seems possible. My question is, if I have managed this long without a diagnosis (15 years), and if I don't know whether I would take meds, would a diagnosis help me or stand against me. I'm in a dilemma.
it helped me in the sense that i knew finally that the diagnosis i was given was the right one cause it fit what i had been going through and the pattern for a very long time. not taking meds is your choice and i would say if the illness, whatever it is, hasn't impacted your life in any negative way or the lives of those around you, then getting a confirmed diagnosis would be completely up to you. if your life has been impacted and/or those lives around you because of your symptoms and behaviors, then seeking out a confirmation and knowing what the options for management are might be a good thing.
I couldn't say that whatever it is hasn't impacted on my life. It most definitely has. But it hasn't killed me and i keep down a job. so i wonder if it is something to complain about or if it can get better.
In a way, i would like to understand. but in another way, I am afraid.
I have a fabulous filter, so mostly people don't know when I'm depressed. I can generally pull it off when i'm with them, then just get to be alone so i can let go. they just think i'm a little "off". when i'm buzzin, they just say what are you on, i'll have a pint. I don't have a "ruler" to measure myself against. If i can pass as "normal", then am I? and if i'm not, will it help me to know that i'm not. I'm afraid i could stop trying if i had something to blame. Then again, that's unlikely. It's in my blood to appear normal. I can't help myself.
